HACKER Q&A
📣 Goleniewski

Got cancer, a new job,new boss in less than a year What do I do now?


Hello Everyone,

As per title really. I started a new job late last year. Head hunted and went from a mega stable nothing ever really changes with a low stress environment where it would cost a lot to get rid of me with over a decade and a half of service to a extremely fast paced "lets do it" environment that is rather "make it work for now" and the technical debt is large. I joined partly because I had a real rapport with the guy who would be my boss. The money helped too :D

The day I joined the company it got bought out by another one. Ok, we carry on, integration ongoing. Stuck between two competing outlooks on infrastructure and different ways of working.

Then in the last month I have a diagnosis of the big C. Tests are completed (i think) but it looks to be the one you want to get if you had to pick one. Treatment plans inbound imminently...

A few weeks ago my boss resigned. Now I have a new boss in another country. He is pretty much an unknown quantity at this point.

To be fair my immediate team mates and colleagues (in both companies) are awesome and we get through it as best we can but for right now but I don't even know what to do. I feel so much of a spare part its horrible. The job itself, I am not even sure about. If only I had a time machine. Clear guidance and direction is a thing other companies do! I feel like i have made a huge mistake and I was unhappy before all the upheaval at new job.

At home, we did the maths and luckily, even in the worst possible scenario the bills are covered for the very long term. That's something to be very thankful for. It may not be pretty but no one is coming knocking at the door.

I am thankful we live in a country with socialised health care and that the outlook is apparently good (unless the doctors are lying to me, obvs <---- Autism at play). I'll be honest and say that doing any work is hard because not knowing if you are going to be alive in a year or two is kind of a drag on productive work. I hope I will be, the prognosis is good but being told that news is the loneliest feeling in the world at the time.

I am still very much the newb and I can see if they want to rationalise headcount I am a prime target so..... I realise they cant do it whilst I am ill but you know how these things can go. So my fellow geeks... There is not a lot of good going on right now.

Can anybody help me with an objective plan of action that may make work a bit easier. I am not sure if I made a huge career misstep here or am just over reacting a bit with everything that is going on.

As I am mostly at a lose end right now because I can't commit to being present any particular day because treatment and appointments, I am thinking of upgrading some of my skills, maybe a few certifications but that will take all my will power to do. I just need to be as up to date and have a plan if I am let go AND get through the treatment AND it works. Everything crossed :/

The new owners are ALL GCP. My skillset lies in Linux, Ansible, Docker, Technical writing and high performance clustering. I am also proficient in Azure as well as having (somewhat dated) VMware experience but to a good depth.- I know everyone is running away from VMware as fast as possible so "meh!" on that one.

Top and bottom of it is at a professional level, I have no idea how to prepare for what's happening and what's coming. Any advice is welcome.


  👤 functionmouse Accepted Answer ✓
Take up hand embroidery? Or make a homebrew app for Nintendo DS in ANSI C?

It sounds like you owe yourself some kind of passion project.

Good luck with the treatment! There's really no need to worry about things you've already done your best to sort. You've done your best and put yourself in a winning position.


👤 doublerabbit
Knowing the basic knowledge and how to bridge the gap will be very helpful in the next upcoming wave. You will have those who know all of C and those who know all of A but how you connect B?

If your confidence in Linux, switch it up. FreeBSD could do no harm, Haiku. Networking is another path to follow. Learn how to create a network, a home lab, install as AI Interface. Buy a VPS and start mucking around.

I'm a Systems Architect so I have to constantly morph in to new areas when they appear. It's a challenge but I have more "know-of knowledge" than proficient but it keeps me employed.

"What if I integrated X with Y" and see if it works are always fun experiments.


👤 idontwantthis
Try not worrying about the job. Phone it in for a bit. You have cancer no one will blame you and if they do you can say "Sorry, I have cancer, now what were you upset about again?" Don't let a corporation ruin your life, and definitely don't quit when you can't get fired.

👤 thiago_fm
Just focus on getting healthy again. You have a very challenging road ahead of you, and it's only about your health.

Money, job and responsibilities can wait.


👤 SkyLemon
Two things: 1) Don't look at your choices in the past with your now knowledge of the future. That's not how it works, we are not Gods. 2) Do what you love, what brings you joy work is often a means to an end in this regard. (Work, by it's nature is often not fun, but it is often not your life.)

We all (currently) enter and exit this world in the same manor. It's the bit in between that matters. We all could be hit by a car tomorrow or live to be 120. Most of us don't get to know. You got an reality check and a potential expiration date. Congrats, you know more then most of us, and yes, can make more accurate plans. But live, because you likely will!

Now, answer me this. Why should you live your life any differently? And if there is something, should you not have been doing that anyway?


👤 lighttower
I'm in a similar situation, where I chose to leave my home country and came to the US and was then immediately hit by health issues. I'm happy to chat with you by phone -- I've done many years of therapy and have helped several through difficulties in past. If you like let me know how I can reach you.

👤 thisislife2
> Got cancer, a new job,new boss in less than a year What do I do now?

Live in the now. Don't brood over your past, don't worry about your future, unnecessarily. You accept it and keep doing what you would normally do. Don't try to find meaning or ascribe some meaning to what is otherwise a natural process of our modern life. You have health issues, you get it treated it and try to live healthier. That's it (what more can you do?). You got a new job. Congratulations. Give it all you got as you would normally do. Your company got acquired, you got a new boss, your job sucks now. Skill up. Fight for your current job or search for a new one. (Also, talk to your old boss and close co-workers). Looking back at your past, or worrying about your future is only useful if it helps your present. Live in the now.


👤 tacostakohashi
If you're in the US, look into FMLA, or possibly even consult an employment attorney to put together a plan.

If you are going to be in and out, not 100%, etc... you are better off erring on the side of taking medical leave, asking for accommodations as needed, rather than trying to "soldier on" and have any unavailability used against you or characterized as a performance issue.

Aside from that, treat your new boss as a new job / new company that you need to prove yourself too. Your new boss didn't choose you, and may have a desire to "make changes", bring his own people in... etc.


👤 takinola
The prospect of dying has an interesting way of focusing your mind on what's important. It is a terrible gift you have been given. It sucks to have to balance quotidian concerns at the same time as existential ones so give yourself grace for being in a position that requires you to handle all these things at once. My suggestion is to prioritize your health and getting better. Ten years from now, you may barely remember this job (or the new manager, tech, etc) but that only works if you pull through. It sounds like you are financially stable so use that fact to your advantage to make decisions that work best for you and your family.

Find a good support system. People that love you are going to be the most important thing for the next couple of months. Let them help you. Lean on them. It is fine to be weak. This is the time to let them give (time, money, encouragement, prayers, comfort, etc) to you.

Good luck! I wish you the best.


👤 Balinares
Union. Now.

The specifics depend on your country, but your union should have labor law attorneys who can tell you what to do to maximally discourage holding your diagnosis and its consequences against you. In most civilized countries, discrimination based on medical conditions, or even the appearance of it, can get an employer in uncomfortable waters.

Meanwhile, do shit that you love. Try new shit that you may end up loving too. Learn a new music instrument and suck at it with great joy. Go to a furry convention. Learn how to make pizza! Look, no one knows how long we've got, and the most anyone gets, goes by in an eyeblink anyway. But you can do more, or less living during that time, mostly regardless of how long it lasts, and all told I'd recommend doing more living because this is the one shot you get at it anyway.

I wish you as much luck with your tumor as I had with mine, and enduring joy every day no matter what.


👤 Blackstrat
I went through 11 takeovers in my career. I survived them all, some with promotions, until the very last one. It was within a couple of weeks of my severance that I was diagnosed with the Big C. That puts everything in perspective. Nothing really matters then except treating and beating the cancer. Focus on that. If in the process, this job doesn't work out, find a new one when you are in remission or cured. And decide what you want to do after that. I was nearing retirement anyway and decided I didn't need anymore of the corporate life. Not knowing your age, that may not be an option for you. What is an option for you is keep a positive attitude, eat right, exercise, and get treated. Yes, cancer is a serious kick in the pants, but you can't let it beat you down. If you do, it's far, far worse than it has to be. Yes, it's depressing. But, don't give into it. And remember that you aren't really alone. You'll likely sit in the waiting room before treatment with people that have a far worse prognosis. Certainly, I did. Which made me all the more determined to not give in to my darker thoughts. I'm five years cured, though life is irrevocably change. It happens. Strive to be one of us.