How do you find an SO?

Success stories I've seen usually involve grad school. Women like to marry up (and tend to marry guys a few years older) ; grad students still have physical proximity to the undergrads, unlike the working world where the sexes tend to segregate.

Met mine in my mid-30s via a dating app. We had some shared interests that connected us at first, but what kept us going over the long term is having compatible values and personalities. (And we still do enjoy the shared interests, of course).

If you don't have any outside interests, well, either develop some (Meetup's one option, or check your local paper's calendar), or you're going to have to find someone with an equally single-track mind (nothing wrong with that).

There's still fewer women in tech, so looking outside of work helps.

Go on Grindr, have hookups, wait till one gets attached.

In grad school. I was alone and miserable. Another grad student (who is an A.B.D. but became famous on Quora and then got kicked out because of his conspiracy theories) said “you should get some weed Paul, my roommates have weed and they always have girls coming over.” I turn to another grad student, Harry, who I called “Rush Limbaugh” at the time because he was conservative and had a radio voice and say, “You’re always talking about weed, you must know where to get it right?”

The next day Harry comes around and asks “Were you serious about that?” and I said yes because I had nothing left to lose. He introduces me to his dealer who later became my wife.

Funny Harry was sitting on the other side of the couch when I started tapping out this message.

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