Interesting problems to work on are so few and far between each other that it’s a real treat when one comes up. 99.9% of the work to do is plumbing type work that is necessary but very boring and tedious once you’ve done it a few times.
The thing that is really soul crushing is having to pretend to care. At least one person you work with is going to be unable to separate their sense of self worth with their next performance review. This will create unnecessary stress and tension for everyone else who just wants to do their job and go home. Working 80 hours a week just so we can mark the ticket as done on time in Jira is not something I’m doing anymore. I have absolutely no confidence that whatever it is we are working on will actually be impactful in any way.
I like programming as a hobby, I like making things, and learning new things. I don’t really feel like doing this professionally is really checking these boxes for me as much as I want anymore, but I don’t know what else to do.
> Working 80 hours a week
I spent a year working in the USA and I must say the management style where I was did NOT impress me. All you can do in that situation is bide your time and move. In my case rather than just outright quitting I found an outside interest that kept me going until my contract finished.
Perhaps you should look at what things that interest you, e.g. construction, biology, business, etc. In many parts of the world, trades people are very much in demand.
The analytical, creative, reasoning skills that programmers employ can be applied in almost every other field.
I started an equipment rental business. Going quite well.
Depending on your situation, you may need to keep your current job, you may be able to leave your job but need to get another similar one, or you may be able to just leave your job and not go back to anything similar to it. Get as far away from it as you reasonably can in your situation, funnel any excess programming urges into hobbies, and start exploring for other passions. Some people get into physical activities, traveling, art, gardening, etc. Some people start a business that they've always wanted to run. Some people escape into the woods/mountains to build a cabin and make coffee on their wood stoves to drink on their porch while looking out at the snow. Find whatever makes you happy and do as much as you can to push your life towards more of that and less corporate programming.
After some time, you may find yourself wanting to return. You may not. Either is okay, so long as right now you don't turn yourself into a husk by forcing yourself to stay where you are in the hopes that you'll just get over it.