Is it normal to feel alone in your head during a relationship. I (35yo male) have a non-techie girlfriend (31yo female) who is just not that interested in what I do, or my online world.
It sometimes feels alienating to have this whole part of me that I just can't seem to bridge with her. I love her to pieces, and we both love and support each other in our lives. There's little conflict. Yet, when we go out into the world together I can't help but feel jealous of other couples who seem to talk more freely and interestedly with one another.
I just get the feeling we don't connect. We're currently at a crossroads after 3 years of me either going back to my home country to start anew, or staying with her and trying to start a family.
Are there any reasons I should stay? Am I just unappreciative of what I have and just have FOMO?
Any HNers out there in a similar situation? Please help.
Some of this feeling may overlap with being an immigrant. Consider going home for a week or two (call it a business trip if you want) to see how that shapes your emotional perspective.
Partners can be like chalk and cheese. To expect a single human being to tick all of your boxes is naive. This is why people have friends and peers. Understanding that peers don't necessarily have to mean unfriendly competitors is a big one.
What do you want from the relationship long-term? Do you both want the kids you want to try for? Do you both want to build something? Anything? Have fun? Or have you not really sat and thought about it or spoken about it with her?
You have different kinds of relationships with different kinds of people. They're all different. Again, only you and her can answer these questions.
Here's a curveball question: have you ever considered that you might be autistic? I'm autistic, I have asked these sorts of questions before. You should want to stay because you love her and want a future with her.
Another curveball question: do you want kids generally, or do you specifically want kids with her?