What will your kids be proud of 10 years?

Question

As a young woman in software, it is easy to see that there is plentiful, well-paying work. But having taken some time off after getting laid off from my last job at FAANG, I often struggle to explain to myself how what I'm doing really, truly benefits the world. In 10 years, what will I tell my children about what I do now? What will I be proud of - would they be proud of that database optimization that was so _technically_ interesting or would they be proud of helping make people's lives easier? In essence, during my job search I'm trying to find a role that would lead to a satisfying answer to that question. *I'd love to hear your stories, about how you've thought about what software is with respect to society*, especially for those of you who've been in it for a long time.So, Hacker News, what about your role would you be proud of in 10 years? In 30 years? What would your peers be proud of, or your children - are they different?

dayjah · Accepted Answer

I&rsquo;m the son of a software engineer, I&rsquo;m a software engineer, and I am also recently a new father to a daughter.When I think back to my childhood &mdash; I really appreciated my dad showing me how computers work, letting me build them, explaining to me what a transistor did, how ISA and PCI worked, etc. It obviously had a profound influence on me given my career.What really sucked was his work at all costs attitude; I rarely saw him, and this stayed true for his second crop of children w/ my step mother.In sum; I loved the technical learnings offered, didn&rsquo;t really care about his work (early 90s tech wasn&rsquo;t that fun/interedting?), and I certainly chafe, now, at how absentee he was due to his career.

dimgl · Answer

Your kids will remember whether you were a good, supportive parent or not.They may reflect on your career as adults, but that's a fleeting thought and you'll already be very old by then.

lddemi · Answer

As a father of three kids, I think you might be overthinking it a little bit. Your kids probably won&rsquo;t care.

patchymcnoodles · Answer

The issue I see here is more going in the direction, that everyone thinks they have to do something world changing.
My parents had "basic" jobs, my mum was a nurse, definitely something she can be proud of. My father - being a locksmith - could teach me a lot about craftmanship. But what they can be really proud of and what I love them for: They was great parents, that's what I as their kid wanted.
Other friends parents back in the past might had crazy jobs you could maybe showoff, but some of them was awful parents. I was very happy, not having their parents.

NickWrightData · Answer

I think the question you're asking (if it's anything like the question I'm asking myself) is, what will you have used technology/the technical abilities you have to do--to make the world better for people in general? Or something else?
I agree with you--your kids (and people in general) will care so much more about what you make possible through database optimizations, etc. They won't care about the bits, they'll care about the end result that actually means something to them.
Is your database optimization making it easier for people to coordinate, find food and shelter when they need it? Or is it helping police to more easily use facial tracking to find "the perp" (i.e. someone who looks enough like them) and prosecute them?
I think most of the comments saying "your kids won't care" are misleading. They won't necessarily care about the technological details, but again, they WILL care about what that enables them to do, or others to do to them and those they care about.

theoriginaldave · Answer

My mom was an attorney and my dad was an electrical engineer cum real estate agent.
What I'm most proud of is that despite divorce in my family,I never heard my mom nor my dad talk bad or disrespect each other.
When times were really bad and we didn't have much money, I'm so proud of my mom for taking time to take us to parks and find cool water fountains in our town, despite studying for school and working nights.
I lived away from my dad, but I am so proud that I could call him anytime day or night and he would drop what he was doing to talk to me.
By thoughts, words and actions my parents made us kids feel like their priority. And I'm so proud of them both for that.
My mom and dad both were very good at their jobs. But I'm proud of them most for how they were as parents.
I've always told myself that I could be a good man,a good friend, a good partner and a good father whether I'm making French fries or brokering world peace.
And I would be proud of my parents for the same reasons, whether they were flipping burgers or building cathedrals.

swader999 · Answer

Doing your job well and having the respect of your colleagues is good enough.Did you play with your kids while they were young, provide for them, be attentive around them? I'm certainly not perfect but these are what I'm striving for.

hanniabu · Answer

I'm building a tool to monitor and promote Ethereum robustness. I believe Ethereum will play a large part in our future as a global coordination layer, but that's only feasible if it remains resilient. It's nice to look back at improvements that have been made due to initiatives I've lead.

gadders · Answer

Billions of people around the world raise happy, well-adjusted kids whilst slaving away in dead-end or non-world changing jobs. And your kids might end up in a non-world changing job as well. I don't think what you do for a living is how your children decide if you are a good parent or not.

seren · Answer

I am working on medical device software, processes are terrible, tech stack is not really up to date, but at least, I sometimes feel that I am helping people down the line.

sorokod · Answer

Sounds like you already have your answer.

What will your kids be proud of 10 years?

Your kids will remember whether you were a good, supportive parent or not.
They may reflect on your career as adults, but that's a fleeting thought and you'll already be very old by then.

As a father of three kids, I think you might be overthinking it a little bit. Your kids probably won’t care.

Doing your job well and having the respect of your colleagues is good enough.
Did you play with your kids while they were young, provide for them, be attentive around them? I'm certainly not perfect but these are what I'm striving for.

I'm building a tool to monitor and promote Ethereum robustness. I believe Ethereum will play a large part in our future as a global coordination layer, but that's only feasible if it remains resilient. It's nice to look back at improvements that have been made due to initiatives I've lead.

Billions of people around the world raise happy, well-adjusted kids whilst slaving away in dead-end or non-world changing jobs. And your kids might end up in a non-world changing job as well. I don't think what you do for a living is how your children decide if you are a good parent or not.

I am working on medical device software, processes are terrible, tech stack is not really up to date, but at least, I sometimes feel that I am helping people down the line.

Sounds like you already have your answer.