However, whenever I try to mention my older work experience during the first interview screeners, 2 HR people got angry for omitting my experience. I told them that I'm not listing everything because that'll take 2 pages and not everything contributes to my profile. They ghosted me.
I'm seriously thinking that it's covert ageism, but part of me also wants to list it to dodge the bullet of ageism before the figurative gun is fired. Advice?
One issue used to be holes in employment - or rather having a good story for them. Maybe, maybe not. You can't satisfy everyone anyway. You could keep your resume hole-free without wasting much of people's time.
Another is, can you really not find anything relevant in these previous jobs? If only something in the direction of "solid work ethic"? Sometimes it takes a little creativity but it's still there. And it doesn't need to waste much space on the page.
There are a lot of options between "not mentioning anything" and "2 pages".
Why not put a section, called "other experience", on page 2 and list it all there.