How did you escape homelessness?

Are you in the US? There are an unbelievable amount of food service job openings that pay extremely well for that work ($15+ hourly plus tips). I personally know a few business owners that are desperate to hire.

What keeps you from being employed as a store clerk or something like that? Is it citizenship issues?

Have you tried remote work sites, or something like upwork? Is there an unemployment office near you? It might even be your location, per my understanding jobs are more abundant in urban or close-to-urban areas, but require having a car or housing in that area. What if you secured a job first via an unemployment office (don't mention activism stuff, or political stuff), and then apply for something like housing for low-income folk? Just some suggestions.

I suggest doing odd jobs for the couple helping you, as it might at least help them understand you're not exploiting them. Good luck.

Edit: not sure if the tone of my message is coming out right, but its not meant to be judgmental or challenging you :)

The advice is always the same for these situations: "Pull yourself together."

It sounds so mean, but nothing else will work.

> I don't use hard drugs

Do you use cannabis? Your writing suggests to me (not a medical health professional but a family member to a person with mental health struggles) that you might be experiencing thought disorder, which is a sign of psychosis. In some people, cannabis use (including after a long period of use with no apparent negative effects) can cause substance abuse psychosis. Thought disorder can also be a sign of other non-drug-related psychotic spectrum disorders, like bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and schizophrenia.

If you use soft drugs, consider taking a prolonged abstinence to see if your functioning improves.

Regardless of substance use, consider talking to a mental health professional. In Pennsylvania, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has a helpline for people undergoing mental health crises:

1-888-264-7972

Dude, I am in a similar situation but I know how to get back to my feed.

Big question: How old are you? This makes a big difference.

> Is that what I should do... emigrate back where I came from?

No, but you should write down ALL options that you have. Italian citizenship is not bad, it would allow you to work in all EU countries. Also, this can be a 2 year gig. Gets you back on your feet, that's it.

Were you born in the US? Based on your post I am not 100% sure. Also, you don't specify what kind of degrees you have. IT?

Teaching English in China would also be an option.

PS: Travis, is this you?

I don't know.

But I would prioritize any job whatsoever, regardless of location. If you're in a hotel paid by family, then you can swing a bus ticket/cheap flight. While there is higher cost of living in cities, there's way more jobs. You can live far out and commute via public transit.

Your family is saving your life right now. So folks ARE willing to help. Keep them informed as to your efforts so they don't get resentful.

Maybe check living in a car like station vagon, suv or a van. There is a community around that lifestyle, they make money through food delivery in the car. There are subreddits on reddit on this lifestyle, maybe it can help you survive and find other options with time. Maybe you can check out anarchist squats, maybe they are where you are, maybe they can give you a place to sleep.

What kind of cert do you have from Bellingcat? Maybe you can do some freelance OSINT work?

obviously It wont help from that moment you evicted but if you dont have emergency funds to cover your next 12 months, I would downsize on life style, even go vanlife to save up to secure short term feature atleast.

Living a non-conforming lifestyle is completely fine, from a position of power. But from a position of desperation (eg, homelessness, joblessness, etc) it is far more advisable to try to conform more to whatever local standards exist for you - in terms of style of hair, clothes, speech, etc - and completely drop anything controversial such as political activism.

"Everyone I met in this predicament, it was due to severe mental illness (like, schitzophrenia, etc) or a severe substance abuse issue."

I understand your situation can be incredibly stressful, but have you been evaluated by a mental health professional?

I see quite a few disconnected thoughts here that I'm having trouble making sense of. In addition notions of being persecuted, discarded, etc, esp. linked to taking part in social causes. I'm certainly not a medical professional myself but it seems similar to a schizophrenic I've known in the past.

It might be the case that getting a handle on this, esp. if it comes to a medical intervention, might be a good first step. Also just a note, the mention of "hard drugs"... if you're doing anything w/ THC I would stop that immediately as it can greatly exacerbate symptoms.

> I'm currently in a hotel that lacks basic anemities like a functioning shower, paid monthly by family

How does a hotel not have a shower?

You sound depressed and you need to get numb and stoic and practical and focus on survival. Be grateful for minor successes and when people help you but dont indulge in all these negative emotions your expressing in your post...they are delusional.

All that matters to you right now is your practical day to day survival.

You will need to find a free shower. In the past I've used gym showers, shelter showers, beach showers, campground showers, marina showers, university gym showers, friends showers, etc. Call around and see if you can find a shower. Alot of times places like the YMCA or community center's or homeless shelters have sliding scale memberships. You have to call and explain your situation and see if you can het a free membership. Many times if they cant help they can guide you to someone who does.

You need food. Look around for soup kitchens, food banks, church food lines, apply for food stamps.

Most cities in America and I imagine Europe is similar..have a place you can go and apply for government social safety net services like food stamps, medical care, job search support... and they will give you a caseworker who can guide you through social safety net options your region offers.

Overall I need to emphasize...you need to remain stoic and practical all of these depressed thoughts youre posting are wrong and will destroy what limited confidence you have.

You ask for help, but you don't tell us the sort of information we would need to help:

- Where are you?

- What education do you have?

- What work experience do you have?

- What other marketable skills do you have, if any?

- What family and friends do you have that could provide any support?

I can't speak from personal experience, but Jessica Kent has a video [0] describing how she was able to rebuild her life post-prison. It's not quite the same, but ex-convicts in the US definitely have to work against stigma to eke out a living and shelter. I'll be frank, though, there is definitely a lot of luck.

[0] https://youtu.be/4y0EoVooPIg?si=PzXw3DsNa_mp5dpH&t=26 10 min, time is after the preamble.

> multiple degrees

Okay, good. What are your degrees? In what?

Note: there are temp-to-perm agencies that fill white-collar office jobs; that might keep you afloat while you're looking

> My family pulled all support, leading me to be evicted due to nonpayment of rent.

> Flash forward, the folks I got tenure, internships, and jobs have not connected me with work.

One thing that may be helpful is to work on your relationships. Something is making them go sour, and trying to find out why is going to reap big dividends.

You mention you don't use drugs but then you start talking about being an activist, potentially doing something extreme, and looking for "jobs for people with depression". The problem is that all of this still screams "baggage". Maybe not as bad as a hard drug problem or criminal record, but it's still "baggage" that nobody would want to deal with when there's plenty of other people that either don't have it or hide it well enough.

When you're looking for help and handouts, "going against the grain" is not a successful strategy, so you need to put all the activism/strong morals/etc aside and never bring it up. Make up a believable backstory about yourself that doesn't bring any of this up nor raise suspicions to explain your predicament to potential employers (someone with degrees in knowledge work applying for menial work is more surprising than a blue-collar worker) and use that to slowly rebuild.

> Is that what I should do... emigrate back where I came from?

If I had to choose I'd rather be homeless in Europe than the US. The latter is a country where fucking the little people is considered good business and so much existing business relies on that, where moneyed interests have effectively seized control of the government and where the general groupthink would be against (or can easily be convinced to go against) anything that would help the little people in fear that it would be "socialism" - definitely not a good place for someone in this position.

For some folks finding a position as a camp host can help ease one's distress. Campers are almost always relaxed, friendly, and out to have a good time. The campground, itself, is usually a beautiful and pleasant place to be. While it's only for part of the year and doesn't solve all one's issues (food for example), it can help move one's life forward.

I'd like to summarize what you speak of above.

*

Career: You have multiple degrees, lost work during COVID19, have Bellingcat certification, and have not been able to find any new employment, including physical low-level jobs like dishwasher.

Savings: You indicate you were evicted from your home after your family withdrew support, but despite the phrase 'withdrew support', seem to also indicate they are funding the monthly bill for your current long-term hotel. You have no savings.

Emotion: You have CPTSD, you feel anxious/fearful, you have low hope, and you feel betrayed and taken advantage of.

Substance Abuse: you are drinking, but not using hard drugs.

Health: Due to the blood sugar comment, I'm presuming you may have diabetes, or blood sugar issues.

*

I'm going to make some suggestions. I'm entering into a bit of a colder mode as I write this. Because of this, I want to pre-emptively say that I DO have empathy for you; it's just the place I go when I try to channel survivalism instincts.

*

PHYSICAL

It is often easy to believe our body and our mind are separate; that our soul is different from our body. But alcohol is a depressant. Low blood sugar will make you sad and angry. In both those cases, those feelings will not feel like they come from your biology; you will feel you have perfect mental/emotional reasons to feel that way. So, for this first item:

First, I would suggest at this point you vow to not take another drink, at least for now, and only resume at some far future point where your life is stable, where you feel well, and, most importantly, where you've talked the decision over with a mental health professional, to rule out any concern of addiction. This is not criticism of you; this is a survivalist decision. I had a friend literally drink himself to organ failure and die. Every person in the world will claim they can manage their illness.

(Also, alcohol makes your blood sugar drop. Your liver stops working on producing glucose, as it gives higher priority to the poison (alcohol). As such, since it's not producing glucose any more, your blood sugar drops.)

Second, go to a free health clinic, and have someone there test your A1C. It will tell you what your blood sugar's been over the last three months. I suspect your blood sugar isn't stable. If it's constantly too low, you will feel sad, shaky, angry, and you can't operate. If it's constantly too high, there's many other issues. If it's stable, then good. (As a side note, only AFTER you know that your blood sugar isn't too high -- and don't think that that's solely food-related -- most pharmacies sell little packs of glucose tablets about the size of a Life Savers roll, back near the pharmacy, as well as larger jars. For simply addressing the low sugar concern, they are useful.)

CAREER

To me, I see the lack of ability to get manual work like dishwashing as a flag that something may be wrong with how you are presenting yourself at job interviews. As such, if there is anyone who is the kind of person who is in the job-seeking or "day-to-day" world -- perhaps shelter management, perhaps somewhere else -- who can give you a honest opinion, try that. I have seen people who are well-meaning but who have one fatal flaw in how they present themselves that will torpedo any interview they go to. I am guessing you may have one, and you may simply need someone to tell you so you can correct it. You basically need to find someone who will let you do practice interviews and give you feedback -- and then take that feedback, with no ego. What you're used to - or what you think worked for you - isn't any longer, so you need to follow others' advice.

After that, if I were in your circumstance, I'd look for this - perhaps a Walmart worker, perhaps a dishwasher, perhaps something - and work that job until you have a modicum of stability on a lower level than perhaps you're used to pre-layoff. Once you have a moderate income coming in, then start to look at your resume and your work in the field you wish to return to. Start applying to those, but do so when the pressure has been removed from you in terms of day-to-day living by your interim job. It will mean you will come across as more self-assured and relaxed at an interview, and these translate to positive impressions.

INTERIM ADVICE

Go to Reddit. Look at /r/povertyfinance, /r/assistance, /r/homeless, /r/almosthomeless, /r/food_pantry.

Libraries have also become tremendous resources for those in dire need, including homeless. Go to your nearest one. Ask if they have resources they might suggest. Only in the reddest of states -- and maybe not even there, as most librarians are good everywhere -- might you encounter any unpleasant responses.

MENTAL ATTITUDE

As someone with /r/CPTSD herself (and yes, Reddit has a /r/CPTSD forum that is very good), as someone who has definitely despaired and been a month or two away from losing it all, I will tell you that I personally have experienced much (not all) of what you've gone through.

It is extremely, extremely easy to say to yourself that you have lost control. That you are helpless, and that you are having things done to you.

For me, I have coped through a sort of internal "parts work" or "Internal Family Systems" concept -- basically, in that I mentally assign roles to different people in my head. I don't mean this to insult anyone who legitimately struggles with DID, but I have done a lot of emotional coping in my life by having people inside me argue.

And, as I suggested above, what I think might be of benefit to you is to let a cold, iron controller take control of you. Let them say damn the world, you are taking control of your life. There is a poem out there called 'Invictus'. It is public domain, and free on Wikipedia. It ends with: "I am the master of my fate / I am the captain of my soul." Hang it on your wall. Say that you will seize control. Things won't be done to you; you will do. That doesn't mean act on every emotion; a captain doesn't just madly stake a claim to steer into the rocks and demand everyone follow him into the crash.

But take your compass and plot your course, then steer your ship. STEER YOUR SHIP. Seize the wheel.

I wish you luck.

I was out of work for a year after a layoff myself. I was only very briefly homeless (technically still am, but in a stable situation), so I may not be the most qualified to give device but I lived on the street and for that time often wondered how the hell I would ever come back.

Eventually it came down to my social network. My family was unable to help me, many of the people I knew were unable to help me, but many tried, eventually though, my connection were what saved me. I packed up what little I could take, and moved to the densest part of town. I talked to people I knew, at places I used to frequent. These people were the first to offer help. Sometimes it was just advice, sometimes it was just a little bit of money, but many had a broad network themselves, and begun to reach out, trying to help me find some sort of work. Ultimately it didn’t work out for me, but eventually, an old friend reached out asking to hang out, and when they found out my situation, they offered to put me up until I could get back on my feet. A few other people offered to let me stay the night so I could at least get some rest and clean my clothes. Currently, I have an offer and am waiting to start, and shit the only reason I got that was because it was a referral from a family member.

I understand, you may not have a network like this, but I didn’t think anyone I knew would offer me the help they did. Ultimately, had I not been given that help, I’d likely be despondent still. Had I not had that assistance, however, my plan was, plus some advice I was given by others, was roughly as follows:

- Make sure necessities were covered. Water was easy, so this mostly meant making sure what money I had went to food.

- Get a cheap gym membership when you can, this was advice I was given several times, mostly this provides a shower when you need it.

- Use the library for internet, to continue the job search. At this point, I was willing to work for anyone doing anything. Despite, the previous whining about a worker shortage, however, I found that most fast food places were passing me over even before I was homeless, there were suggestions as to why that might be in another thread, but I don’t want to go on too much of a tangent.

- Keep fighting to find some form of work, things are a lot easier if you have money coming in.

From there it’s complicated depending on the exact circumstances. I didn’t have to deal with cold weather, but that may be a concern for others. I still had no idea how I would properly get back on my feet this way, mostly because rent here rapidly outpaces the shorty jobs that were availed, but I was ready to take it one day at a time.

Multiple times in these comments you've intimated a threat to someone. Look at the language you are using in response to some people here that have put genuine effort into trying to help you. You straight up sound crazy. If any of the tangential things you've thrown into your comments on this topic leaked into an interview I wouldn't dream of hiring you.

I don't care what PhD you have, if I've hired you as a dishwasher and then you say, "Thanks I need this job because my family won't support me because I'm not a pedophile" I'm pulling that job offer ASAP.

Until you recognize that you are leaking tells of mental health issue with almost every response on this page (and are no doubt displaying the same behavior in in-person interactions), you are going to be a very difficult hire.

And it's no one's job on HN to connect you to a recruiter; based on your writing here I can't imagine anyone here would vouch for you with their reputation.

I have been there, including the path of blaming others for my issues. I became homeless for some time after going this "activist" route, fighting family and friends after going broke because of a failed startup.

My "solution" at the time, not very wise, was to double down the issue, joined a project in a left wing movement that fights for land rights for the poor, MST. It was very risky, I'm glad things worked out well in the end as I used my tech knowledge to help the project meanwhile getting a job and a place to live in a shared house of other hackers and creators. But not without some big fights and situations that could have got me killed. So not sure if I would recommend going down the "activism" route. Sometimes people think they can change the world but aren't capable to help their family and friends - and actually expect help from them. Maybe it is time for you to connect with the people that you are demanding help from.