I'm a 31 year old, recently single, long time programmer. For the sake of this post, humor me and assume that I am at least above average when it comes to engineering. I've been passionate about it since high school, have had a wide variety of projects, never give up, have a track record of success, etc.
Over the last few years I've built up my current humble project into a steady little business which nets me some steady income with little of my time required any more. Let's say roughly $5,000/mo clean - enough to live in many parts of the US (currently I'm in Southern California).
After months of reflection, therapy, etc etc, I've come to believe that a physical and social job would do me a world of good. I.E. not one where I'm completely alone at my computer for hours, days, months on end.
I've thought about becoming a firefighter (overcorrection?), a pool guy (seriously), an online teacher (teaching programming from my own perspective) etc etc.
As you can see, I'm fairly confused. So, I'm casting this note over a shoulder into the HN wishing well and wishing that one of you fine friends happens to stumble upon this.
Any ideas?
<3 - Mike
E.g., offer as much in the way of online signup / online service requests as possible. Don't make horrid, bizarre websites. Don't make people call you on the phone -- or worse, wait for you to call them -- in order to get a decent estimate of cost and/or when you're going to show up. Include things like DoorDash, to show me on a map where you are when you're headed to my house, so that if I have to meet you, I don't have to putter around for an hour wondering when you're going to show up.
And then, of course, do the actual work well and with excellence.
Could be any number of specific lines of work -- lawn care, plumbing, heating/cooling, water services. If you want to leave California, snow removal.
So, I'm working to become a pilot instead. It's expensive, time consuming, competitive, and probably won't see six figures for half a decade or more. But, it's a heck of a lot more meaningful than sitting at my desk all day.
Just thought I'd share my situation and solution since it's relatively similar. All the best.
I'd suggest not doing anything rash like quitting your job or switching careers unless you are at a crossroad and ready to make the switch, such as a job that just let you go. Therapy was a great option. I wish I opted for it but instead, I had family and friends and up until today, which is the last day I will be "related to her by law", I didn't want to let her go, but I've come to peace since it is now a reality.
You are a free man currently and can do anything you want. Don't rush into another relationship. Learn more about who you are, what you want, and what you don't want. Make time to exercise.. commit to an hour a day. I have to admit, I haven't been great at it, often having severe anxiety, and I think it was because I was left in a house full of memories for the past 2 years, just drowning in reminders, while fearing going outside.
My brother called me with an opportunity to run one of his businesses across the country, so I'm headed to try that out for a few months and hoping it goes well. He's a bit of a hardass and wants everyone to be exactly like him, so I'm hoping it does last, but we'll see!
Go to a movie. See what events are around your town and go to them. Call up friends you neglected while you were in your relationship and ask if they'd like to catch up and actually plan a date. Life is not over. It's still going on.. with or without you.
Do what you can to keep your mind off her. Understand you'll go through your series of pain, depression, and acceptance moments. Have a person or two you can trust. You aren't alone in this either.
Pay and benefits are reasonable. They seem to be in high demand in my area (Pacific NW) and the work is physical without being so grueling that it destroys one's body.
Job satisfaction is key. I hear good things about Physical Therapist. Think about it.
Doing deliveries is more social, but there's a lot of deadline stress.
If you like being active and more physical - just look at what interests you in terms of what you want to do physically and try to match it with something that can yield an income or trade.
Landscape designer: There is a lot to learn about various plants, climate zones, etc. I am learning for our home but feeling overwhelmed. We are considering hiring a consultant and probably would do actual yard work myself. But there are a lot of landscaping companies that will do everything for you.
Realtor: I have real estate license, you meet a lot of people, explore new areas, learn about so many things. It was really enjoyable experience without being pushy salesperson as I didn’t need money. I stopped as most of work happen in evenings and weekends, and as a dad I felt it was not fair to my kids.
Handyman: Along the same lines as landscaping but probably more in demand. I personally rather do work outside.
Portrait photography: It has a lot of competition but also very rewarding and not as stressful as wedding photography. You get explore new places for the shoots. And it is very fulfilling to make people happy with your photos.
2) Pick a profession that you might be able to meld with your technical/computer skills and interests in the future. Maybe you'll have an idea for a future startup that combines your job that other people without the tech background haven't recognized.
Maintenance shops are everywhere and give you a 9-5. Fishing is on the coast and gives you a highly a non-standard mostly summer/fall schedule.
Both are an absolute blast when you're with the right people. But then again, nearly everything is like that.
entrepreneurship can be energizing and empowering and liberating and all those great things, but it can also be isolating. there are certainly downsides when it comes to working for another company, but a few upsides too:
- more social by default -- especially if you're actually in an office - easier to casually experiment with moderate changes to job focus, e.g. "hey manager i've been doing heads-down engineering a while and i'd like to transition into product management" - secure, compartmentalized base: $5k/mo without much input is killer, but it's not enough to obviate financial concerns (especially in southern california). you could easily be making more than double that on salary, and with that kind of base it's much easier to finance even fairly expensive social and physical activities in your off time (which could include volunteer firefighting, tutoring, a couple shifts waiting tables on weekends, etc)
being a fisherman would be awesome, but is it conservatively worth seven figures over the next two decades? for some, yes. for you?
if you're simply not going to be happy/fulfilled/ that said, spending a few months bartending on a tropical island somewhere might help you figure it out either way.