I find myself navigating a professional environment that's high-stakes, pyramidal, and lacks the usual HR checks and balances. In such a setting, there's a clear presence of toxic gatekeepers who expect - if not demand - a certain degree of... well, ass-kissing.
I've personally grown into dealing with toxic people by not engaging in their games. This means not reacting to their provocations, not giving them the attention and praise they are constantly seeking, and not ass-kissing them.
However, a problem arises when these toxic people are gatekeepers.
While I'm not one to indulge in such behavior just to get ahead, I've noticed that taking a (silent) stand leads to unintended consequences - besides being seen as "uncooperative" and "not a team player" - too many times it results in outcomes I really want to avoid: being excluded from key opportunities, social sidelining, as well as facing retaliations.
Seeking insights on:
Tactful Denial: How can you tactically avoid the ass-kissing without finding yourself sidelined?
Navigating the Dynamics: How do you manage relationships with these gatekeepers without feeding into their ego?
Alternative Engagement Strategies: Are there other techniques you've employed that help in getting your point across without resorting to sycophancy?
Resilience and Integrity: In the face of these dynamics, how do you ensure you remain grounded, principled - and importantly - effective?
Anything that comes to mind, along with your experiences, strategies, and resources (online, print, etc.) on this would be invaluable.
Thanks in advance for the wisdom!
Isn't that particular professional environment (e.g. company) their game field?
If so, why expect to ever manage to go pass them without playing their game?
Go somewhere else and leave them playing.