Deal with feeling of not knowing anything well enough?

First, you absolutely know more than you think. Human beings branch out in adulthood and it is impossible to compare your knowledge to others. In contrast to being in middle school and measuring your knowledge in universal scores in all "subjects" taken by everyone. You are not confident enough because there is no universal score like in middle school. When you have to work, or meet with someone with the same area as yours, you will feel confident. I am sure that happens.

Second, it's an unfair world. Some people have more time to put into stuff to think deeply and do work that don't directly, instantly lead to real-world impact. (There is one gentleman per neighborhood who "knows deeply" about French Revolution or Civil War, or so they think) I am sure Jeff Dean doesn't have a manager breathing down his neck. Have you tried going deep into something, and writing about it? Like Julia Evans' blogs on DNS? Why don't you try something like that? You mention Jeff, do you work in ML? Have you tried publishing research? It doesn't have to be NeurIPS or ICLR. Why not a small, independent paper in arXiv?

And, also, highly recommend a group of similarly motivated people for a study group. Because "deep knowledge" doesn't directly turn into product-being-admired-by-many-people, you might get bored while reading a 500 pager. A group helps the most.

I don't know who Brenden Gregg or Jeff Dean are, but a cursory look at their profiles I imagine the thread linking them together is they've set aside time to do deep thinking and research -- rather than the piecemeal approach of implementation whack-a-mole.

So in that vein:

1. Find a very narrow area where you would like to have in-depth knowledge

2. Read the seminal works in that area (could be academic papers, could be blog-posts, could be even code)

3. Go for a long walk, and mull about it for a bit.

4. See if you can add something, no matter how little, to the area

5. ???

6. Rinse repeat

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Big question is whether that's something you're internally motivated by, or externally. The fruits of that sort of labor are mostly internal; and very few people have the stamina to continually do this, unless it personally fulfills them.

I used to tell people this: "I suck at everything I do. I suck big time. But I suck less than everyone around me, so I'm the guy who solves the problems".

If you are the guy who solves the problems, than that's the barometer by which to judge yourself. You are not an impostor.

And if you are the problem solver, then it's great if you suck. It's a sign that things are ok with you.

Because if you know in depth everything you work with it means you are not pushing your own boundaries. You are playing it safe, well within your comfort zone. It's ok to stay in the safe zone for a little while, but don't do it for long.

The majority of the workers out there get to that safe zone after a few years of experience, and then stay there. Don't be one of them. Push yourself, keep becoming better, and keep the comp raises coming.

I don't know if this will help you or not, but more than anything the skill that has helped me develop expertise within my field is learning to ask really good questions and listening thoughtfully to the responses.

It can feel risky because there's vulnerability in asking a question! But if you use a little flattery (vs. trying to hedge by sneaking in your own answer), people will share enthusiastically. When you get in the habit of gathering viewpoints from everyone by constantly asking questions, your perspective and wisdom grows deeper and deeper.

See Richard Feynman's autobiography for a version of this strategy.

Make peace with not being an extreme outlier, because hardly anyone is, by definition.

Maybe it’s too much focus on work and not enough relaxation or vacation to let new ideas flow in?

You could be the best at x task but there are only 5 positions in the middle of nowhere that require it so why spend time on it?

Otherwise, audit your time in 15min increments for one week, reduce entertainment, and get enough sleep/exercise/etc. Use a dumb phone.

I’m not sure if you’re in a mid life crisis or pre-retirement one. I sat down then wrote a 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 year hypothetical plan and realized I needed to change it all because of the retirement date as well as value for spending my time doing it all.

This isn't me giving advice since you're probably more experienced than me. My perspective and belief, however, is that you gain in-depth knowledge by going down layers of abstraction. Instead of using an RDBMS, write a database from scratch. Instead of making a game in Unity, make it with OpenGL or D3D11. Write a 6502 or 8086 emulator. Write a toy operating system. And so on.

I find that when I do these types of projects, I very quickly figure out where the holes in my knowledge are. That gives me a direction on what to learn next, and the motivation to actually learn it and apply it in practice. It feels much more efficient than just picking up a textbook and trying to learn that way.

Navigating the tech industry's vastness can be overwhelming. Consider focusing on a niche within distributed systems that truly interests you. Deepening your understanding through online courses or workshops could help you bridge the knowledge gap.

Remember, expertise is a journey, not an instant achievement. Embrace the learning process and gradually you'll find yourself gaining more in-depth insights.

Impostor Syndrome is common; you're not alone on this path.

It sounds like you're comparing yourself to other people, and feeling that something is lacking. It also sounds like you have a fairly successful career.

Why do you want to be an industry leader? Ego? Dissatisfaction with the similarity of your work?

But why do you need to handle this situation? If you're already happy with your job and they are with you, who cares?

It sounds more like you want to work on getting rid of imposter syndrome. Just realise nobody really knows what they're doing because there are no absolutes.

No one in life knows something well enough, it's just a matter of consistency.

Keep at it. I think that it is often the case that the more you do know the more that you realise you are ignorant about. You may still be a world class expert!

So keep your mind open, keep reading, keep learning, keep practising your art.

I've just started a PhD after 30 years of start-ups etc, and I am aware that people's view of my skills is often much more positive than my own view of my skills. And I'm also spending time with other entrepreneurs who seem better than me in every dimension!

Keep humble, but keep going.

I can majorly relate and can say you're not alone. As for providing helpful suggestions, sorry, I'm fresh out as I'm struggling myself.

> My approach involves learning what's necessary to solve immediate issues and then moving on.

When you move on do you crystallize your learnings like in a document or a chat with other people? Does it give you an idea of where to go next?

Maybe consider a role 'following the money'? Perhaps your skills are even stronger than Gregg/Dean in either explaining/solutioning/selling/deploying the tech to solve your customer's problems.

> the expertise level of industry leaders

Comparing yourself to others?

Yea, that's not going to end well. Instead compare yourself to yourself in the past.