What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

Not quite in my 60s just yet, but close. Anyway:

Work: find your niche. Accept that you're not going to be a hotshot coder/consultant/whatever forever. However, outside of 'fashionable tech' there is an entire world where you can make a comfortable living and nobody cares about your age. That doesn't mean you can stop learning: remaining up-to-date on relevant skills is important, but 'relevant' does a lot of heavy lifting there. Be knowledgeable/reliable instead of trendy.

Leisure: don't put off things you truly want to do until some unspecified later date. You might not make it (see 'health' below). Find at least one activity to enjoy on at least a weekly basis, travel (even if it's close to home), go for walks, spend time with your loved ones.

Health: everything truly and rapidly gets worse once you're 50. Stop smoking now, stop drinking now (or at least moderate a lot), talk to a doctor on a regular basis, take care of your teeth (really).

(That last paragraph is awfully generic, but until such time that we invent time machines, a very important one...)

For me the biggest factor has been understanding how the hedonistic trap limited my options.

It works like this: you start a new job with a nice big bump in salary. You buy a new car, go to fancier restaurants, take dates to "in places", move into a nicer apartment. With each increment of income, expenses increase. Pretty soon you are trapped in an awful job but the pay is too good and you have no savings.

Getting off the hedonistic treadmill is very painful. But there's more to life than staring at computer screens and putting up with shitty bosses.

I’ll be 50 next year so I’m right in the middle.

Short version: after Covid, we realized we didn’t care about “stuff” and we wanted “experiences”.

After Covid lifted, even though it didn’t affect anyone fatally in my immediate or extended circle fatally. It did make me change my perspective and priorities.

In June 2020, my youngest (step)son graduated from high school and decided to work and not go to college. I made it clear to him and his mom since he was 9 (when we first got engaged) that I would find a way for him to college. For all intents and purposes they were my “sons”. I had planned to cash flow his college expenses. But after asking him repeatedly, he assured us he didn’t want to go.

The same month at 46, I fell into a fully remote role at $BigTech and assigned to a virtual office that meant a significant pay increase.

In 2022 my wife and I both decided we wanted to move to Orlando for a change of pace and decent weather all year.

We found what we thought was a nice condo and learned it was a unit in a condotel. An arrangement where we own the condo unit. But could only stay there 6 months out of the year. The rest of the year it was rented out like a room in a hotel and we got half the proceeds.

My wife then had the brilliant idea of us “nomadding” for the other 6 months (actually 7 from March through October).

We sold our cars and now we take Uber everywhere when we are traveling and use SixT and do monthly rentals when we are home. We fly from city to city in the US and stay in midrange hotels.

Everything we physically own that’s not real estate fits in four suitcases. It would be three. But I have one packed with my “business clothes” for the occasional corporate trip

My wife is deep in the fitness industry and before we go to a new city, she reaches out to instructors in that area to take and guest teach classes.

When we are “home” we pay one fee that covers all utilities, internet, access to a gym, a lake, and multiple large pools, three restaurants and a convenience store onsite.

We threw out everything and downsized from a 3200 square foot house in the burbs of Atlanta to a 1300 square foot condo that was the same price in 2022 that our house was in 2016. We rent our house out to our son and two friends

A healthy man wants many things. A sick man only wants one thing.

Take care of your health!

my two cents, even if I am not 60 but nearly. Do not underestimate the role of chance and fortune in all the decision you made. Don't even think for a moment that all the efforts you put in your job/career, relations and to stay health will somehow led to a positive (for you) outcome. The mantra "if you dream of it you can have it" leave to the posters because it's totally wrong and it can bring you to mental problems if you embrace it. I know it sound depressing but I see lots of people at my age (55) that are nearly broken because for example they sacrifice everything for their careers and goals and now that they don't get what they want are a complete mess. On the same way I see woman that sacrifice they own being for the children and now that they children as grown and do not care so much about their parent are loosed in a life without meaning for them.

Imagine yourself in your 60s. What would you tell yourself now? Be honest.

A mental fabrication like “you are 65” can unlock thought pathways that you have subconsciously blocked.

Call your Mom, Today.

Treat your partner well, you got some daunting times ahead of you as a team.

Your children will (need to) leave the house. Prepare and assist them.

Your family home will be oversized, if you can, pass it to one of the kids who needs it most.

Moderate your financial fix costs.

Get your car / bike / sailing / paragliding licence now.

You are still a player in the "looking for a partner" market, go for it now or forget about it completely.

Max out contributions to your 401k, IRA, Roth IRA, and HSA accounts.

Exercise more, sleep hygiene and eat and drink less.

Take care of your health. Think about how you want to retire.

I like the advice provided by Jack Ma.

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/01/30/jack-ma-dont-fear-making-mis...

At 40, I'm just doing what I'm good at, learning things that interest me here and there. But my main dedication is to my health and wellbeing. I changed jobs to WFH and stopped being a manager/VP to return to be an IC in something I like that is low pressure.

Because I've loved the thrill of startups, I do tech Advisorship for new startups, particularly for people that want to do something tech, but have no clue how to start. I charge in equity only, which makes it thrilling for me.

I've read a lot of these - generally it's that money matters less than family, it's never too late, success is steady action over a distance instead of one huge burst, and that your health matters more than you can imagine.

- The amount of calories you need after 50 drops almost in half. You slowly become allergic to many foods. Regulate your diet better. - Use it or lose it. That means the ability to climb stairs, walk, run, pushups, jumping jacks, but also play an instrument, type, write, do math. Go out of your way to keep doing these things. Get a personal trainer if you can afford it. - Travel as much as you can now. It's more fun when you're young. Money spent now is worth more than money spent later in more ways than one. - For your career, find your masterpiece, something only you can do that will either live beyond you or perhaps help many others. You may need to take some risks to find it, if you don't do that in your 40s it might be too late in your 50s. - You can't time the market, but start saving now for your kids college or retirement. Just take the money out of your paycheck if you can and pretend like you never got it ... your living standard tends to expand to your income. - If you don't have one, find a partner. It gets harder to find one after 40, and after 50 you may stop caring. It takes two.

Not 60, but trying to somewhat predict where I will be at that time... As a non-native English speaker I used to say:

20 years ago I knew that if I wanted to have a great career today, I had to learn English. Today, if I want to have a great career 20 years from now, I should learn Chinese.

(since then I left the telco bubble, maybe other parts of the tech industry are not that Chinese-heavy)

40? It's not too late to learn new skills. You have the advantage of having already learned other ones, and probably 20+ years experience working. You can learn something new, especially as an "add-on".

Advice in how to age with grace