If both sides are determined to work around you, it's just a losing proposition, so get the one with something to lose on your side!
The advantage of a listing-fee model is that your site is paid for displaying and managing the online product listings - not for selling them. If your listing fee is reasonable (ours was a quarter a month), sellers with high-quality items at reasonable prices will do well and will make more money than they can on a commission site. You can let dealers and users talk with each other however they want, going so far as to publish dealers' email address if they choose.
Commission-only sites tend to have lots more listings, but they also tend to have higher prices and junkier items, because there is no disincentive against these; listing fees are that disincentive.
As you have success with this pricing model, you can modify it down the road. For example, for example, charging higher listing fees for more expensive items.
Good luck!