I'm now in my third in a row role/company that I hate. Maybe I hate this line of work. Dunno. I find it very difficult to bear with shitty colleagues each with his own agenda, trying to understand shitty designs and code made long before me, learning shit, drink the corporate cool-aid (always the same shitty taste regardless of the company), being an eternal newbie (in this job you remain that unless you are Peter-principled), sitting my ass in a fucking room all day long, and generally spending my life away in front of a screen just for fucking money (not even good money).
But I have a kid to raise and bills to pay.
Honest to God, I was in a hospital a few days ago and the workers there were cleaning old men shit, and whilst I wanted to throw up one part of me was yelling that what they did was MEANINGFUL whilst the shitty products I work in nobody gives a fuck whether they exist the next month (and probably the world would be a better place if they did stop to exist).
Sorry for the rant. Just looking for ways out/forward.
So you sit in front of a screen for money, will your life be more meaningful if you stopped doing things for money? Tell your family they are going to have to do without money because you need more meaning in your life, I am sure they will understand. If you can not find meaning outside of your job what makes you think you can find meaning through a job?
That being said, it also sounds like there is a you problem going on and that’s disturbing as you are raising a fellow human. Might want to get that looked at.