It’s been really hard. I feel stressed all of the time, the codebase I work in is a mess, I have to drive an hour to get in the office 3 days a week. I’ve talked to my manager about it, and she makes it sound like it’s how things are.
It’s tough because I feel like it’s what everyone wants me to do, like what I’m “supposed” to do. And the amount they pay me is ridiculous, in a good way. But when I wake up, I don’t feel happy or excited, and if I’m not feeling nothing, I feel fear. I know there’s a manager track with more money & glory, but I can tell the stress and stays, and probably rises.
My friends and family keep telling me I should stay for a year. I’m not sure if the one year mark is really that special or not. It also looks like the job market is really brutal right now. And even if I find something new, it’ll probably pay less, which I guess is ok, but it still makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.
Am I missing something here? Is staying for one year really that important? Have people gone through stuff like this before?
FAANG is not really a good list, particularly "N" doesn't belong, but these companies have this in common (with the caveat that some of the statements would have to be qualified for some of the firms.)
The strength of these companies (except for the hardware manufacturer) is not based on the strength of their technology or process but they all were leaders at one point in time.
Rather these companies are strong because they are monopolists (mainly because of two-sided markets, except the hardware manufacturer has a lame duck competitor which keeps real competition at bay) and/or are overcapitalized (can buy competitors or subsidize one business on the strength of another business, particularly the web services business that has an online store attached)
These firms are prestigious to work for and pay well because they are highly profitable but the advantages that make them highly profitable are not something you can walk away with. (I'd contrast that to startups I worked at which failed to achieve product-market fit or that got acqui-hired where I got an insider view of the technology and the markets, particularly paths not taken, and the market is either pre-PMF and wide open or is still competitive.)
If I read between the lines, you sound stressed (for whatever reason). You might have been reading too much into the firing/layoff. You might have an unrealistic expectation of the performance required out of you.
In Amazon, you would spend a lot more time interacting with teams that just writing code. The interdependencies between the teams are insane and depending on the level and your team, a lot of work would look ad-hoc and not well planned.
Feel free to DM me if you want to talk about it separately.
I will end this with, your mental health is the most important thing. If you are getting too stressed you should consider resigning or taking a leave of absence. All of these things are something you can discuss with your manager.
If you choose to feel within the year - make sure you articulate yourself well during the interview process. New employers might look at your reason for leaving as a red flag.