How did you overcome and recover from bullying?

I am a bit neurodivergent which caused me no end of problems in grade school. I did something right out of Ender’s Game in the sixth grade and was immediately kicked out of school. When I got back, I found high school was really not so bad, I was worried about getting shut out of dating but I got very little crap from other kids that I didn’t deserve. In college and adult life I’ve had a limited number of incidents where my neurodivergence intersected with bullying.

On one level I grew up and the people around me grew up and it’s been better, on another level though it is still a wound that will never completely heal.

Survive. Escape. Relax.

That’s what it ultimately comes down to, in that order, and in what can take a very very long time.

You’ll have to share more if you want advice for whatever phase you’re in right now, but people all around you can help. Classic language around bullying evokes schoolyards and workplaces, but family members, friends, and spouses can just as often be doing the same thing. Almost everybody’s faced it.

Even if some of the people around you wouldn’t say they’ve been bullied because of the way the word is used, many can relate to what you’re going through and offer support.

I don't think I ever overcame and recovered from bullying. I'm not even sure what that looks like. Bullying had a profound negative affect on my growth and development. I guess if there's a way to overcomes that, it was to develop a thicker skin, and to control my emotions.

Bullies prey on you because of the opportunity and low cost. So do everything you can to make it cost them, even if it costs you.

I learned that lesson in kindergarten and almost got kicked out of school over my retribution. But I stuck to my guns, and nobody messed with me until I changed schools some years later when we moved to a new town (and the process repeated).

Did I suffer? Oh, yes. But they move on after you make it too painful for them. You need to develop a greater pain tolerance than they have, or just fight sneaky and dirty - whatever it takes. And you need the balls to stand up to teachers who tell you to turn the other cheek or "make friends" with them or some other such BS. Only violence stops bullying.

Didn't. Accepted and worked with.

I think it depends on context, I was not bullied as a teenager or adult, so in those cases, I don't know what an efficient response would be, but I guess the reason I was not is because I learned to give off a certain kind of vibe.

I was bullied a lot as a young child, and it took me a while to learn that bullies are not reasonable people to whom one can present a rational set of arguments.

There was a kid in our class who would "explode", and I saw how it was a pastime for some of the other kids to get this kid to blow up, so he was bullied because of his reaction (too strong).

I was also bullied because of my reaction (presenting arguments, explaining why it should stop (too weak)).

For me, the right measure of response, where it is painful for the bully, while not being that interesting to the audience, worked. At some point, I understood that the only way to avoid being bullied, was to bully the bully, they would leave me alone when they were scared of me.

I've never been a particularly strong person, so I couldn't stand up to a bully in a fair fight. But I could run at them from behind and throw my arm around their neck and bring them to the floor in a choke-hold, so that's what I did, out of nowhere, on several random occasions when no adults were around.

My day always told me, never to start a fight, but that I always had his blessing in ending it. I couldn't take his advice straight on, since I couldn't end a fight, but, on the other hand, it's not a fight if the other guy never gets a chance to throw a punch, right?

Bullies left me alone, I left them alone. Probably would get kicked out of school trying to pull that stuff today?

I don't know if I recovered, I guess in retrospect, I see why I was bullied, I'm different, on the spectrum, My interests were different, I used different words, I was (and still am) unable to understand social context.. Kids bully to establish a social hierarchy, being "against" something is an easy way to belong to a group, it's much easier to be against something or someone than to find common interests to form a group around.

Hatred and opposition is simpler and stronger drivers for group behavior, and so, there must be someone to bully for the group to exist.. If there's no enemy, there's no group, no identity.. We cannot be _us_ without there being a _them_, and _they_ are characterized by being _different_.

In my opinion, countries exist for the same reason. Some human instinct to belong to a group.'

I guess that realization, that bullying must exist, not because of the bullied, but for the group, it made it be not about _me_, I was simply a different one, and an easy target, so I became an expensive target, and bullying stopped, and I've forgiven them, they couldn't have done differently, human behavior..