I feel like if my job were just to cut wood in the forest all day, then I'd be golden. I have the physical energy to do any monotonous task.
So how do you guys deal with it? I'm a "Senior DevOps Engineer." I'm getting to the point where my job makes me feel numb. I've already tried switching jobs twice. And I'd love to leave forever, but I don't want to lose my paycheck.
Right now, I'm a paid professional and just want to deal with getting _something_ done.
Listen to yourself in terms of why you believe you're not functioning like you think you should.
I have about 3 to 4 hours a day, twice a week, of top-level cognitive bandwidth.
That's it. The rest is idle to a degree where I can do shit for brains work and help others.
But really heavy load work takes its toll and also takes a lot of mental capacity if the domain i work on is complex, relatively to what just accomplished. Hence context switching is hard.
One practical thing is to write a journal with the things you speculate about. Just sentences. Write it down and continue. Write. Continue.
It's a good way to have that kind of valve.
Can you flex your work hours so that they align with the times that you are able to focus on technical tasks? 30 years later I still get productive things done in the wee small hours of the morning. I save the afternoon for more brute force activities.
Now there's still a lot of the drudgery, but attention regulation has substantially improved. That feeling of having no energy to do anything regardless of how easy it might be, and the resulting brain drain was a huge weight. In the case of ADHD you don't have control over when your brain "Turns On", and unless there's some urgency or interest, getting started on any task at all becomes virtually impossible.
Trust me. If this was your job you'd find a reason to hate it, too.
Have you ever tried doing the same physical task for a year?
Or I go take a walk, make coffee or do household chores when I’m working from home.
If you’re able to get a few hours of productive work done in a day (let’s say 3 to 4 hours) and spend the rest of your time recovering from that and recouping your energy, I think it’s okay.
However, if any work is completely draining you, it might be a good idea to take some time off.
This led me to discover Andrew Huberman, a renowned neruo-scientist at Stanford that talks publicly alot about well being.
Learning some things from him I came to realize that "feeling bad in any way" is pretty much just your body being out of whack. I implemented some of his tips into my daily routines and the feeling of stress went away, despite my external circumstances being roughly the same.
Not saying there is anything magical about him, but you could look into him to see if he's got anything that could help bring back your mental clarity.
Depending on your chronotype, this might be shifted - a super night owl would probably experience both of them later. E.g. I usually peak late at night, maybe between 8pm and midnight.
These cycles are measurable in things like nervous system, core body temperature, and so on. So it's no surprise that your brain isn't "always on." Nobody's brain is.
You could try finding your peak times and structuring your day around them so you can make maximal use of them.
I have no answers for you. But there are others like us out there.
I imagine there is a guy cutting wood somewhere right now, thinking the exact opposite?
try to find a way to work on things you’re actually interested in and excited to work on. you should wake up excited to play in the problem space.
if you are able to, be open to moving and taking a paycut if it makes it easier to access interesting problems.