To the introverts and socially avoidant, how the heck do you network?

I don't. Consequently, I've held a series of low-paying jobs all my life, each one only marginally better than the last. I understand the importance of networking, I just don't have access to anyone, nor the ability to sell myself.

Introversion often comes from social super powers. Introverts can be more sensitive and pick up on social cues from others more readily. I consider myself a "social introvert" this way - relationships are important, but I can be easily overwhelmed, and need a break. For many introverts, they are just as social, they just have to pace themselves.

I network by going deep rather than broad in my relationships. I don't worry about the quantity, but the quality. Over time, this snowballs where I develop a rich network gradually over time.

I observe a lot of extroverts can develop many superficial relationships that decay quickly... So I'd actually ask the opposite question, how to extroverts build a robust network? :-p

Networking isn't about talking to people, but about building mutually beneficial relationships. Those can require very little talk.

Sometimes I see places where we'd both gain a lot from a cashless transaction, so I make it happen. For example I send them clients and they advise me every once in a while. We're not drinking buddies, just two businesses helping each other out. We rarely talk.

In other cases I just build stuff and put it out there. It acts as a beacon for people who like that stuff. People often reach out to talk shop and good things happen. I meet people in the strangest places.

Others seem to follow my social media updates and bring them up in phone calls, so they must have some impact too.

If I don't feel like seeing people, I can still do those things without feeling overburdened.

Establishing good relationships with peers at work isn't that hard. What gets hard for me, over the years and as the number of contacts grow, is maintaining these relationships in a way that doesn't feel superficial or transactional. Add in a few moves around the country during your career and a long tenure or two somewhere and it can be even harder.

Take it at your own pace and be genuinely interested in learning about others. You don't have to be a rousing conversationalist. Active listening is a superpower and people are attracted to those who listen.

Be careful how you identify yourself. While it may be true that you're an introvert, be aware that along with that label you may be imposing artificial limitations on yourself.

I highly recommend the book "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. Our culture idealizes extroverts to the point where we as introverts don't recognize what a gift it can be. The book contains a wealth of research and stories and is incredibly empowering.

Also if you're socially avoidant, there's a reason for that and I would recommend investigating it through introspection and/or working with a counselor. Human beings are social creatures and we suffer when we lack meaningful connection with others.

I'm introverted by nature (most wouldn't think so by talking to me, but I have (and do) expend a huge amount of energy trying to be as extroverted as I can :) )

My "networking" started small - people I happened to know who knew people (think: parents' friends, etc)

Every job I've ever held (except one) came via "knowing someone" and/or "they found me"

That all said, I've made a concerted effort to get into roles that force me to interact with new people - it's why I went into Professional Services / Consulting

Every "good" [ish] customer I've had has had someone there I clicked with, and added to my network - initially by taking them to lunch (go go gadget expensible meals) or grabbing beverages after work, and then up to the "want to connect on LinkedIn?" question (not as some kind of smarmy serial one-night-standist, but in a sincere manner)

And then I maintain that network through effort - I make sure I post regularly to LI; make sure I check out connections' posts periodically; for [some] folks, I add texting/calls/Slack/etc

"Real" networking takes effort (whether you're introverted or extroverted ... it's still effort)

Whether my method works for you or not, I cannot say - but it's been [apparently] successful for me so far

Start by networking more with people online. If you see an insightful or interesting comment in HN, try to get their email and move the conversation to email. Email them questions and pick on their brain (people love showing off their knowledge!). Then maybe if you're in town, see if you can meet with them over coffee.

I am a mild extrovert IRL, but have become an introvert in work matters. I don't trust anyone after some bad experiences and it is ruining everything. I need to find a new situation but am haunted by past events and effectively now have no social network for work so I am dead in the water.

Pretty much every single time I've networked it was by mistake. I am very much an introvert but I also for some reason I'm gifted with a gift of gab. People enjoy talking to me and I'm really good at conversing. I just don't like doing it. It's overwhelming and it's a whole bunch of work. And speaking of work I'm not employed. I collect SSI because I was disabled before I turned 18... Anytime that I've tried to do job placement or just any kind of job I end up quitting or stopping going because I can't deal with all of the overwhelming signals that I'm picking up from everything or I end up thinking in my head too much.

Sorry buddy you just have to force yourself. Never turn down an invite for a beer if you can avoid it, yes you probably have things youd rather do. It gets way easier when you become one of the usual crew. There are lots of introverts at happy hour and they are the ones who engage you on some deep level for an hour and a half vs. "Hey man how are things lately"

I've found it easiest to connect with people whose work was truly good. We'd bond over that - either trying to figure out something or simply commiserate

I'm not a social person at all, when I'm at work I'm almost a robot - here to work and go home. This angle has been key to my 'success'

I got my start in Linux through somebody I met in Counter-Strike of all places

Lean into your strengths. You're more likely to invest in meaningful conversation with an individual as an introvert. How would someone taking the time to really talk and listen to you feel? Pretty good right? You'll likely have fewer contacts, but the quality of each is higher because they'll remember you.

For me, it was a performance, a role I played in my professional life. It was frequently tiring, but it led to a successful career. Being an introvert in corporate America is frequently a challenge. However, with effort and practice one can learn to navigate the swamp of corporate politics.

I have a few friends who are social "hubs." They introduce me to other people/events.

Then I go social dancing a few times a week (blues, swing dance). Might seem strange for an introvert, but it's a way to connect and meet new people without having to talk much.

Get out of your comfort zone. Networking after graduating college requires effort.

Find people with similar interests and eventually you get to meet their friends too and hang out.

If you like playing multi player video games, find people to play with and connect with them.

Introvert doesn't mean you can't network, it just means you find it harder work than an extrovert.

Infrequently and poorly.