What is your motivation when doing side projects?

A therapist told me that I have an "external locus of evaluation", I had terrible parents who spewed negative comments about everything and were hostile if I disagreed.

My motivation for side projects is generally "this will this be fun and interesting and can I do it without anyone finding out so I can dispose of all evidence if it does not go really well."

Obviously my brain is broken and you don't want to be like me.