My wife is one to quickly stop any conversation along the lines of "if I were to die..." and go into full ostrich mode. We currently use a family 1password account where all the important items are in a shared vault, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.
I'm curious what others do? Do you just have a typed up page w/ a set of instructions somewhere or do you just have a will + lawyer that has it all at-the-ready and a phone # for your spouse to call?
My partner is dyslexic and computers are one of her triggers for anxiety, so I'm planning to write up instructions for her along with my mom or sister, bc i know she already has a hard enough time technologically even with me not being dead. I don't need her crying and throwing the computer on the ground after i die bc she put the wrong password in 5 times and got locked out. It's not that she isn't smart enough, i just think it's not ideal for her to be trying to parse my tech stuff in what is already a potentially traumatic situation.