Anyone else regret leaving an old job for a new one?

I left a very high paying premium tier company for a startup.

I got lucky. But if it didn’t work out I would probably regret it, badly.

I don’t think people should go back to a prior employer. A lot of people have a cozy sort of path in life. They want comfort and stability. But if that’s all you do, I don’t think the highest levels of growth are ever possible.

Living a no risk or low risk life is the path to mediocrity. I’m glad about the risks I have taken.

Some of the risks I have taken have had devastating consequences.

When you take a risk and it doesn’t work out it is very hard to step back and say: “well, I took a risk and sometimes it doesn’t work and sometimes it does. But taking no risks is unhealthy so this is natural.”

If you took a risk and it blew up in your face, the pain and loss are always far greater than the sort of touchy feels.

The only thing I can offer is: “try to master your mindset, psychology and self talk.”

It is not much to say when you are in pain from a bad move. After having so many things work and so many things not work, all you have left is what you do in your mind when it happens and your self talk.

If you fix your self talk, you can sometimes turn a bad situation into a good one.

I’ve been with the same company over the past 12 years.

My group started real small and we had a great rapport. This was 95% in office (sometimes we were at customers or something for days/weeks here and there). We would go out for drinks at least once a week. We had debates and discussions, pranks and other nonsense. It was generally a fun time.

Then there was some attrition and I moved to another group and back again years later. The group was a little bigger, but it never came back to the way it was.

Flash forward another few years to Covid. Everyone goes full remote. Eventually my company adopts a 2 day policy (everyone’s in 2 days a week). At this point my department is expanding rapidly. People aren’t always in the same days and some people rarely come in at all (policies are loosely enforced). We also added some roles that were largely out of office (staff aug), so you would never see those people.

It got to the point where I would look at my company and think to myself “who are all these people?”

I started asking people out for drinks after works and, since I moved up, asked my director if I could organize some company sponsored outings.

Eventually I settled back in. Doing things with your coworkers outside of work helps to make it feel more whole. Companies, just like relationships, are not unchanging and you can experience the same sort of feelings even when you don’t move to another company.

Give it time. Try to socialize not over work, but doing something else.

I'm sure this happens a lot. I felt the same way when I changed jobs during the pandemic. I just rode it out and things did improve but I am already looking for a new job after realizing I'm just not working for a company I care about.

Make a list of things you miss about your old employer so you know what to ask about in future job interviews.

Ues I left a contract through actalent to Boeing to a company that created prosthesis using software and CAD CAM. The head of the software group is some one from a middle eastern countr4y. Culture clash to the max !!! I was given my first assignment to add to a QT 6 example app,. but I saw no signal and slots menu items so after 3 days I was questioned in the open SCRUM meeting what my findings were, and I said there were no signal & slots, I was told by this person categorically I was wrong there has to be signal and slot for the menu system to work, with him even looking at the code. After that I was given specific instructions on normalizing the histograms of various images by the "deep learning expert", so I followed them, but he left out a step to make all the images have the same histogram, and because I did not catch the mistake in the directions I was again questioned in an open SCRUM meeting that day and again the next day. There was no way to regain my credibility, so I left that company and begged for my contract back even at a reduced rate.

I left a FAANG where I was doing very well, but bored, for a startup. Right as the market tanked. Where I recently have found that the startup doesn't have the money we expected (a few handshake checks dropped out). And the startup doesn't have the legs I expected.

Do I regret it... from a monetary perspective, yes. I missed out on a bunch of money. I'm going to have to compete for spots now amongst the rest of the "looking for work" tech world. After the few interviews I've done, I know that won't be easy.

From an experience perspective, I don't. I built the tech platform of this startup from the ground up. I now know that I never want to work for a non-technical founder again. I have been confirmed in my understanding the grappling scope is key for delivering (the founders didn't listen to this idea though).

Everything you do has plus and minuses.

I left a fantastic game studio to a hedge fund internal startup. Thought I’d made a mistake at first, but it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable working experiences of my life in the end.

It was just a lot harder at first, which is ironically much of the driver for me to leave the game studio, because I’d learned a lot and loved the space (auto racing simulations), but wanted to keep growing as a dev and thought that would be slower at the game company.

If you don’t have specific, unlikely to change negatives, give it more time. You’ll get back to the point where no one notices if you take off a bit here and there. (You might already be there.)

Somewhat - I was recently being nostalgic out loud about my recent last employer (who didn’t pay especially well but had a great culture and people I liked a lot) but my wife reminded me in detail of the annoyances there.

Get to know your new colleagues. e.g. organise 30 minute one-on-ones with people you work with.

Start a chat group for alumni of your old company and invite a few people who still work there.

I'm in a similar position. I joined a new company and I learned that the culture doesn't work for me ~1 year in. I also recently realized that I want take a shot at the management track and returning to my previous employer would fast track me there compared to the current arrangement. However I'm concerned that hiring managers will look poorly at that for future endeavors.

> I miss just being able to disappear for 2-3 hours midday with no one really being bothered by that.

You should have asked about this in the interview. I only work/apply for companies that offer a flexible schedule: that basically means “we do have certain ceremonies per week at certain times that you should attend, but besides that it’s up to you how you handle your time”.

It's not a bad idea to go back. My gf did it. She left to work at a large corporation. She really hated the politics despite having a 40% higher pay.

Flexibility and job satisfaction at her current job couldn't he matched by the large corpey.

I have, but only in the first month or so. I know a few people who went back to working at their previous company after leaving though and it worked out well for them.

Did you leave on a good note? Did they offer you a counter-offer before you left?

I left a job I had started immediately after college and had been at just under 3 years. We built and sold software. I figured I needed to branch out and not get stuck at one company.

Left and went to a company that sold insurance (i.e. not software). My boss was a psychopath and expected everyone to be in the office 8-12 and 1-5. No exception.

I lasted 5 months before I scheduled a resignation email to send at 5:30PM on a Friday, telling them I wouldn’t be at work on Monday. Went back to the first company and stayed another 9 years. Just resigned from that company last week (really unhappy with post-acquisition re-org) with nothing lined up. We’ll see if regret follows…

my old job was much easier than my current job. i left it simply because of the 90 minute commute verses fully remote. less than six months later covid hit and now my old job is 95% remote. i am more challenged and get better compensation but i can only imagine having a very simply job and being fully remote. it must be like being semi retired.