HACKER Q&A
📣 Sakos

How do you work on your mental health?


In the spirit of the season (you know, new year, new goals, temporary motivation that might last 10-20 days), I'd like to ask what all of you are doing or would like to do to improve your mental health. Are there any particular things you've noticed work for you that have made a meaningful difference? Any new ideas that you've read about that you'd like to try?

Personally, I'm experimenting with the idea of automated personal/positive affirmations based on something I read in the book "Indistractable":

> For example, short text messages providing words of encouragement are effective at helping smokers quit. A metastudy of interventions form ten countries found that "the evidence provides unequivocal support for the efficacy of text messaging interventions to reduce smoking behavior.


  👤 BenoitP Accepted Answer ✓
First, the physical: sleep well, eat well, practice sports

Second, the surroundings: analyse your immediate surroundings, and what/who is causing stress. Toxic friends, too much alcohol, etc.

Third: find a higher peace-bringing meaning. Wether it is a goal, or friendship/love, or even religion.

Also: work on redundancy of your mental health. Have your 3 pillars of strength in a healthy state: work, belonging (love/friendship), hobby. If 2/3 are good, then you have the strength to work on the third. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. 100% work-driven is not healthy, and actually counter-productive! Eg if works goes bad, then you have a crushing nothing going on for you. Then good luck improving your work situation while feeling crushed. Make your mental health resilient.

I also highly recommend you seek professional helpers: sport coach, psychologist, or just talking it out with friends regularly.

Another great helper is having habits. Take the habit of scheduling a meeting with a friend once a week. Take the habit of running on Sunday evenings. Habits can be the autopilot of your mental health.


👤 yef
I had a rough 2020-2022 and one thing that made a difference was starting a personal writing habit with two main components:

1. Daily writing which summarizes the day and gets off my chest any minor things that are bothering me.

2. Deep dive writing focused on a particular issue that I struggled with before and is inexplicably still on my mind. (Implying that I haven't fully processed the issue)

I also started collecting stories of people who confronted difficult periods in their life. It was helpful to know that I wasn't alone and also to see that others faced much more difficult challenges than I have. I actually started a newsletter about it, shameless plug: https://hardmode.substack.com/

I'm not sure if it's mental health, but in support of mental health is proper sleep with Huberman's favorite tip: get outside early in the morning and in the evening. Getting fresh air and light in the morning just feels great.

One last key thing was paying attention to my limits. It sounds terrible but I found that I went nuts when I was spending more than x hours with my son each day (on average). So the solution was to find babysitting help so I could stay at x hours per day or less. I felt guilty because I thought x was low, but after asking a few close friends they understood and actually thought my tolerance was pretty high. So also staying anchored in the real world rather than trying to meet an imaginary expectation that only I have.


👤 niom
I've struggled with depression and anxiety issues for most of my life. Two things have made a huge difference for me:

Actually identifying with my body and taking care of me (it). That's the diet, sleep, exercise combo driven by a positive body image I identify with. The by far worst years of my life (so far) were when I clung to some kind of cyberpunky mind-body dualism and treated my body as a bag of meat whose only purpose is to supply oxygen to the brain in front of a computer.

Self-acceptance. For some people this is a given, seemingly achieved without any conscious thought at all, and I'm quite envious of those people. For others this takes decades or they repress until the bitter end (suicide in one way or another).

Therapy might be helpful and seems to be the default advice for questions like these. I've been sent to a handful of psychologist appointments due to anger issues in elementary school (don't recall any of that). I tried to get mental health help around a decade ago, only got some pills that made me feel even worse (adverse effects: suicide) and couldn't get a follow-up appointment. Real therapy is hard to access because the health system intentionally keeps capacity low (it's expensive). Basically only for people unable to work any more due to mental health issues, not for people that have quality-of-life issues. The US seems to be on the other end of the spectrum from my country in this regard.


👤 SunlightEdge
What helps me is: 1. I do at least one press-up a day everyday in the morning. I normally try and do 3 sets of alternate press-ups and squats, followed by 1 minute of plank. This routine is very do-able / easy, but has led to me feeling stronger.

2. I used to do improvisation 2-3 times a week, now I have switched to Bachata/Salsa 2-3 times a week. Socialising with others while moving gives so much to you.

3. I recognise 'prison' thinking - when I'm persecuting myself I realise this and do my best to stop it and send out love to what's on my mind. Forgiveness is the best cure for anger/revenge.

4. I rarely if ever meditate/chant - but once in a while I do this and I feel good about it. Its not for me as my main thing (see point 2 and 3), but I think it can have benefits.

5. Outside of work, I have a passion project

6. I am lucky to have a loving family and girlfriend

7. I find I make nearly all the effort with my "friends". But I only see them once in a while, and actually I don't mind it. And we have a good time when we meet up.

8. I do cut out of my life people who don't respect me as a person / are mean spirited. I have no time for jerks. Good people are always welcome. Seriously I have told some of my friends who invite me to events that I won't go, if a certain person is going as I find them extremely rude and I don't want to put up with their obnoxious behaviour (plenty of people have complained about him - he's extremely snarky and likes to put others down). I actually think its healthy to set boundaries on what I will put up with.

9. I sometimes go off to an art gallery/cinema by myself - life is a journey


👤 avg_dev
I would say I have good mental health. That was not always the case. A number of things have turned the tide for me.

1. I found some "active" shit I legitimately enjoyed doing: playing music, writing, walking, iyengar yoga

2. I walk a lot

3. I do yoga intensely once a week

4. I keep a journal

5. I learned how to manage my emotions from a powerful book called "The Anger Management Workbook for Men" by Aaron Karmin, and embracing it changed my life and enriched it in ways I absolutely never could have predicted

6. I have found a couple of communities that I am a part of

None of this stuff happened overnight, but the shift into the right direction started occurring a lot more quickly than I expected, and the not feeling like complete shit all the time, the extremely poor and sometimes very destructive coping mechanisms, they are a work in progress, but I am so much closer to my ideals than I could have expected in such a short time.

If I had to pick one to recommend, it would easily be the Karmin book. Best investment I've ever made.


👤 user-extended
My mental health problems are chronic, can get worse rapidly, and so far, nothing but escapism seems to fill me up in life, especially when I compare my life with that of others at my own age.

I have given up on hope many times over, today I saw a self-text from 5 years ago of me questioning if I would ever make it, and so far, I have not. I have seen a psychologist for many years, a psychiatrist, and have asked people for help.

I have nobody to blame for all of this but myself and the consequence of my own actions and decisions. I have no hope for my own future, but I wish everyone the best, and for people to know that I am the example on what not to do in life, so that future generations do not become who I currently am.


👤 davidn20
I have a motto, “It’s really hard to be depressed if you eat, sleep, and exercise well.” Whenever I’m struggling, I drop everything (within reason) and focus all my effort in those 3 areas. When I do that, it doesn’t take long to have the energy and clarity to deal with whatever other problems I may have in my life.

👤 lakeshastina
The key thing that helped me was learning to observe by body's tension when I would get emotionally triggered - eg: nervous, anxious, angry, upset, etc. Each would cause a physical clenching, in my stomach, chest or jaw area. I have noticed others who clench their fists. I would become aware of this, relax it, and temporarily ignore the thoughts in my head. This changed my life.

Apart from this, sleeping and waking up pretty much at the same time every single day, even on the weekends, along with some form of exercise daily for 20-30 mins made a big difference.

I went from someone who was moody and volatile, to being even-minded in most circumstances.

Hope this helps.


👤 yawboakye
1. love someone, and become their sheltering rock. 2. engage in an (intense) outdoor activity (sports, for example). 3. spend less time in front of tv (either to watch a movie, or the news, or play video game, etc). ideally, you'll spend no time at all. 4. eat and drink healthily, laugh uncontrollably. 5. do not be anxious about anything (see philippians 4, and especially ecclesiastes 12, useful if read non-religiously but with the context of the whole book in mind).

👤 marniewebb
My teenage daughter and I talk a lot about mental hygiene. We compare it to dental hygiene: you do stuff everyday to reduce the need to see a dentist and improve your experience when you do.

The big things on the mental hygiene list are:

- Morning pages - https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/ - walking - intense exercise - keeping a daily/weekly/monthly planner - cooking good food that you like - eating meals with other people - an evening shut down routine


👤 analog31
I'm lucky that I probably don't have any serious disorders. For me, the usual stuff like exercise and diet. Reading physical books, often fiction. Besides that...

1. Some of my hobbies are like my work, but as hobbies, I get to do them on my own terms and timeline. And they're a way for me to divert my inevitable "screen time" away from doomscrolling.

2. One of my hobbies -- jazz musician -- is as unlike my regular work as you can imagine. This includes a completely different cast of characters, who come from all walks of life. Most are not techies.

3. I try to take charge of my physical surroundings, e.g., tidying, fixing things, making minor home improvements. I've even done touch-ups and minor repairs when I've been a renter. It also provides some hobby-like satisfaction, and occupies my hands.


👤 pigcat
I'll start with things that really worked for me last year:

I began every day with a short daily walk in the morning. 15 minutes. It's a fairly easy goal so it's possible to stick to it, and it made a surprising difference in my mood. Got this one from this episode of the Huberman podcast [1].

Then I changed from doing hot yoga/HIIT three times a week to doing it daily at 6:30am, which requires going to bed at 10pm. This was harder to get in to, but I suffered for a couple weeks and it's now a habit.

This year, I'm continuing with the above but adding cold showers.

Note that these are all physical rather than mental improvements, but their impact on my mental health has been huge.

[1] https://youtu.be/aXvDEmo6uS4


👤 MikeLumos
Daily jogging, healthy diet, and meditation make the biggest difference to me.

The biggest change I'd like to make would be to defeat my social media and entertainment addiction - not even entirely, just contain it to a 2-hour window every evening. I keep failing at that, but there were weeks/months when I was successful, and it made an enormous difference, way more than I expected.


👤 graderjs
Meditation; checking in with myself; drink lots of water; focus on personal development; self-debriefs via voice memo; physical fitness; yoga; self-expression, communication and assertiveness; good diet; avoiding too many toxins: alcohol/caffeine/tobacco/processed foods; do stuff I like; always find a way; win from any position; focus on choices and responsibility not playing the fake-victim; celebrate wins, enjoy moments, have laughs; :) fitter, happier, more productive--haha last one kidding!--I'm not successful enough to be a cynic :p :) xx ;p

👤 maximilianburke
I've been using SSRIs for a number of years, though I've tried to wean off of them a number of times I (and my family) find that the anxiety ramps up too much to bear when I stop, so I keep a minimal dose.

Exercise helps; I swim 3x a week, run about the same, and will bike commute when the weather is nice. Swimming is the one that helps me the most though, not only do I get the benefit of exercise I find the concentration to maintain good form and stroke discipline is quite meditative. Signed myself up for a triathlon to give me a reason to keep the habits up.

I was only ever a social drinker but when an ultrasound during an unfortunate episode of food poisoning showed evidence of non-alcoholic fatty liver syndrome my doctor asked me to give up alcohol for health reasons. That has also helped keep an even keel too.


👤 rcarr
There's a lot of people mentioning the usual of exercise, sleep, journalling, diet, relationships etc and they are absolutely correct. I would like to mention one thing that I seem to becoming more aware of as I get older and that is the perception of choice. It may just be me/my personality type but I feel like the number one thing that causes my mood to get dragged down nowadays is when I feel like I don't have a choice on a matter. I think this is why being in debt is so mentally crushing because, unless you're willing to risk bankruptcy, your ability to say no to things you don't want to do and take risks is massively compromised.

If you're able, stop doing things you don't want to do. If you hate your job, quit and find one you like, start your own business, or drop your hours and find a way to live with less. If you don't like whatever your exercise routine is, find something physical you do like doing (Winston Churchill used to walk and do bricklaying. Chuck Palahniuk has also taken to building field stone structures as a form of exercise). Obviously you should maintain discipline when undertaking difficult things, but try and identify situations in your life where you feel you don't have a choice and drilling down into whether that really is the case and taking all the steps you can to get your freedom back.


👤 cwbrandsma
Things that help:

1. Take a 40 minute walk every day. 2. Workout a couple days a week. 3. Enjoy a hobby you can do every week (for me: woodworking, gaming, reading, music, cooking) 4. Do an act of service. (I help run a user group and present). 5. Sleep well.

Things that don’t help

1. Social media 2. My insomnia. 3. Being so mentally exhausted I don’t want to work out.


👤 chegra
Stuff that boost my mental health:

1. Friends... Typically, when I am around friends, my happiness can increase by 1.5(measured out of 5). This is enough to put me back in the normal range. I used the term friends here loosely. Just being around people provides a lift. Easiest way to gain friends is to join a club (may I suggest chess). Being lonely is as painful as being wildly hungry or thirsty [1]

2. Exercise...Typically, I exercise for 32mins(stairclimbing) daily. Every fifty minutes of weekly exercise corresponds to a 50% drop in the odds of being depressed. [2]

3. Massages - I feel significantly better after a massage.

4. Have a schedule - Typically, I have a routine. First, I brush my teeth in the morning. This might seem simple, but it's an easy habit to form and can form the start of a habit chain [3]. By chaining habits(i.e. creating one habit directly following another), I don't use much energy to get my day going. I Brush my teeth then the rest of my day flows from there. I automatically go on my gallery workout while reading then update my expenses etc.

5. Keep Busy - “A wandering mind is an unhappy mind.” [4] This is probably the most important point. Always keep busy.

[1] - Point 14 - https://www.chestergrant.com/67-highlights-from-susan-pinker...

[2] - Point 26 - https://www.chestergrant.com/highlights-from-spark-how-exerc...

[3] - https://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspira...

[4] - Read Point 53-57 - https://www.chestergrant.com/summary-altered-traits-by-danie...


👤 random_bash
Excercise, eat properly and sleep. You won't find a better answer, no matter how you differentiate your question.

👤 Mistletoe
I keep a detailed daily diary in excel that has a rating system for how I feel in am and pm and any new supplements or medications I take, exercise etc. Your mind changes with whatever you do and a written record you can interrogate later is the only way to improve how you feel and see what works and what did not.

I’ve tried almost all supplements and they all have a negative effect when taken for more than a few days. Things that work for me and make me feel better- low dose testosterone replacement 35 mg x 2 per week, 50 mg prescription Viagra every night, one long run per week of 5 miles. My life is night and day different on or off this regimen. Off, the world is gray and joyless, I feel like Bilbo Baggins when he describes feeling like “too little butter over too much bread.” On this regimen, I feel joy and alive. I feel hope.


👤 lytefm
- Journaling.

- Processing emotions via creative writing. I tend to write songs, others might prefer poems or stories.

- Learning a lot about psychology. No matter how weird your issues are, most likely you'll find some helpful resources online.

- Self acceptance and self-authoring. We tend to tell ourselves pretty dumb and limiting stories about ourselves.

- Guilt free play time. Not trying to always be productive.

- Setting and enforcing boundaries in private and professional life.

- Listening to music and podcasts that resonate with me.

And of course basics like proper sleep, food, exercise, relationships. I don't watch TV, I don't use social media. That probably helps, too.


👤 pmarreck
I'm currently struggling with parenting an 18 month old child as an introvert. As a 50 year old first-time parent who had the benefit of lots of quiet alone time for literally decades, and possibly got a bit too used to it. :/

My sanity is eroding and I hit a wall every day. I also found that I don't have time anymore to keep up with technological developments like I used to, which is unfortunately eroding my value as a developer, so now I'm looking into hybrid PM/management/developer roles.


👤 voytec
Almost 4 years of daily exercise. No exceptions.

Proper nutrition.

Early sleep so I am not forcibly waken up by a buzzer.

If outside exercise is not an option, at least a daily walk.

Meditation from time to time.

Zero facebook, tiktok or similar garbage.


👤 BirAdam
I suffered ill mental health for a long time. First thing I had to do was own it. Whatever the cause, I own me and I am responsible for me.

Second thing was meditation. This allowed me some control over my own mind after a good long while.

Third thing was exercise. This allowed me a way to clear my mind, reset my emotional state and improve my health.

Fourth thing was diet. For me this meant keto. I dropped about 40 pounds in three months, and another ten pounds over the following year. My allergies went away. Chronic pains went away. My emotional state became more steady.

Final thing, find love, either romantic or in a fraternal sense. Love is life changing. Humans are a pack animal no matter how much we may believe ourselves not to be individually, and the experience of profound and deep love will forever change you. Once you have a real understanding of what it is to love and be loved, your sense of self worth, and indeed your entire identity, may shift.


👤 eranation
What worked for me recently is writing the journal entry of tomorrow, today. Not sure who invented this, but it worked. It helps the mind stop running negative scenarios. It’s similar I assume to the power of written goals, just a different flavor. The more specific and realistic it is the better. Writing “today I earned a million dollars” is less powerful than “today I showed up and was a little more focused than yesterday, I listened more, and was less distracted than yesterday”.

It helps you live in the moment, less worried, less auto pilot mode, helps you stop automatic behavior (getting upset / thinking negatively), this alone helps get better results in a non-supernatural way, hence increasing the minds faith in next day’s off by one journal entry.


👤 cyberpunk
I can recommend trying out the "wim hof method" - he talks quite a lot of pseudoscience woo nonsense, but the daily cold exposure and breathwork have been extremely beneficial to me.

meditation, ashwaghanda and really working on improving your sleep quality are probably also good moves.


👤 viburnum
I feel like I've done it all but the only thing that has made a difference for me is the amount of time I get to spend with friends. When I have mental stuff now I don't take it seriously, instead I treat it as a generic signal to hang out with people more.

👤 cj
I'd recommend starting with identifying areas of your life that you want to actively work on improving. In other words, take an hour and zoom out to look at your life as a whole, and decide which areas of your life you want to zoom back in on to actively work on.

One format for doing this is "the wheel of life". There are lots of templates and online guides, but here's one place to start:

https://scottjeffrey.com/wheel-of-life/

I recommend this because people often set goals like "I want to start going to the gym" without connecting that to some larger vision for how you actually want your life to change as a result.


👤 lo_zamoyski
Mental illness can have constitutional or moral causes, though constitutional causes are comparably rare in relation to moral causes, so most of us are responsible for our "mental health" as we are moral agents. By "moral causes", I mean the way we choose to live, what we choose to believe, what we reinforce through habit and so one--in short, things we can control insofar as we can control our own responses to circumstances. Classically, the path of virtue was the path to happiness because virtue is about the human good as proscribed by human nature, and while we are not guaranteed happiness in this life, we can certainly live in a manner that is worthy of a moral agent. We often either lack knowledge of what is virtuous, or we refuse to live in a virtuous way because it is uncomfortable or demanding or at odds with the sensibilities of those around us, regardless of the milieu. So we choose moral mediocrity (which can manifest as either laxity or rigorism). This is our fault. We have a duty to be virtuous, to strive for virtue. We cannot do it alone, but it is essential that this is what we choose to do. We will fail and fall along the way, but that is because we are a work in progress. Do not be discouraged. Do not fret about the vacuous commentary of others. That is just noise and distraction. Learn to suffer because without the ability to suffer, you can forget about mental health.

Having written that, I recommend learning more about what the classic texts write about virtue (a good place to start are the four cardinal virtues[0]; there are others, but Rome was not built in a day). Have a look at this list[0] of virtues and vices and create a self-assessment. The first four pages concern the four cardinal virtues and various particular species, though I think it is best to read these in light of the book linked earlier as it helps get to the essential character of each virtue.

[0] https://archive.org/details/fourcardinalvirt012953mbp

[1] http://www.sensustraditionis.org/Virtues.pdf


👤 orzig
To exercise, I got a personal coach (virtually, it was the height of the pandemic). She was actually pretty terrible at her job, and the reason I am telling you this is that it still helped tremendously.

Part of the reason I had procrastinated (despite being objectively unable to exercise myself) was the worry I would choose someone I had no chemistry with. Well, the “worst case scenario“ happened, and it was still totally worth it. I just moved on after a few weeks.

If you are not exercising right now, get a personal coach!


👤 omnicognate
Meditation when I feel like it, in the Soto Zen style.

There seems to be a popular perception of the mind as a thing with many knobs and dials that has a tendency to get out of whack and require servicing by a qualified professional. It's really not.

There are a probably infinite number of things that can outright go wrong with a brain, resulting in an equal infinity of fascinating symptoms that are rightly in the domain of the medical profession. However, like other parts of the body of which the same can be said, those things are unlikely to be wrong you. Most "mental health" issues are not of that nature, but fall into one of two categories:

1. Suffering because something external is actually affecting you. Eg. If you're suffering mentally because you are in an abusive relationship or because you hate your job it's not fundamentally a mental health issue but something you need to straighten out in your life. If you can't you will continue to suffer in some way however much therapy you get. This can of course lead to problems of type 2.

2. Self-created (or self-exacerbated) problems. Pathological mental systems, misunderstandings of the world and your part in it, unhealthy cycles of self doubt and self torment, etc.

Problems of type 2 are very real, but they don't mean there is something wrong with you. Everybody experiences these things to some extent and learning to escape from them is part of learning to be a functioning adult. By far the most important technique to learn is letting go of things. You cannot prevent ideas from entering your mind, but whether you let them remain is ultimately up to you.

When something in your mind causes you suffering - a bad idea, an intrusive thought, a self-defeating behaviour, a necrotic value system, an unrequited love, etc - you can let go of it. Doing so is a physical act, not a mental one. It's not always easy. It can be extremely difficult, but it is always possible.

Meditation, as I see it, is physical practice at doing this. You simply sit and let go of whatever thoughts enter your mind, always returning to simple awareness of the present, your body (especially breathing and posture) and your surroundings. You cannot stop the thoughts entering your mind. They will continue. That is right. You are practising letting go of them when they do.

What you learn from this is that retaining thoughts is optional. You only need to pay any attention to the ones that do you some good. The physical ability to let go of the others is one of the most important skills you can acquire. It's worth practising.


👤 SeanAnderson
I'm building a virtual pet that couples a daily check-in routine with gamification techniques. It's goal is to help me be excited to journal, self-reflect, and track where I'm at with my mental/emotional regulation.

I tend to go through periods where I do a little too well with everything, take on too much, get overwhelmed, then fall down for a bit before I decide I have the ability to care again. The best thing I can do for my mental health is be more consistent and mindful such that I grow continuously rather than follow boom/bust cycles.

So, I'm building that to help! :)

Other than that, everything else everyone is saying is good. Exercise, diet, companionship, self-awareness. I've just never found lack of familiarity of the good things to be the limiting factor. For me, it's always just about convincing myself I can do it, and it's worth doing continually, whenever I fall off the wagon. My own brain is its own worst enemy that loves to overthink things rather than stick to what's clearly working. Then, I do the things, and all the fears melt away, confidence appears in bounds, motivation grows with the confidence, and we're back in the race called life.


👤 mawadev
I set a timer for 45 minutes and do activities. That includes drawing an image from a reference on a piece of paper. Reading a book. Sitting and doing nothing for 45 mins. Going out for a run or walk. Writing about something. If the timer rings, I let the pencil fall, no excuses to not stop, no excuses to not start. No judgement of the outcome at all. I never share what I produce, it is simply for me to get my mind off of things.

👤 anonreeeeplor
Hey,

I have struggled with loss of motivation many times. I worked in boring medium to big sized companies to the point where I felt I had done it all, knew it all, wasn’t excited, wasn’t learning anything new.

I think a lot about what Francis Ford Coppola said about Apocalypse Now, which was an awful nightmare movie to shoot. He said he was glad he did it because he learned so much from it.

If you aren’t learning a lot, something is wrong.

Honestly, my experience was that if I stopped learning I could feel myself begin to deteriorate mentally. The boredom and lack of stimulation if it has years to work on you will destroy you. You just lost your dynamism and vitality.

My solution was to take on more risks.

You sound like you have eliminated all risk from your life. That is the natural thing to do, everyone wants to be risk free. The problem is it kills you:

Where is the excitement, the fire under your ass. If you carve out this lovely cozy little niche where you can never lose. It is the most natural thing to do.

But once you remove all risk, you start to die.

You have to bring risk back into your life. Maybe not 50-90%. But 10-15% risk.

There must be some risk or you won’t find any meaning.


👤 flandish
I try to change “scenery” in a way that lets my mind wander.

As a background, I am a software engineer, firefighter, have had tons of grief (in my emergency role, as well as personal life), moderately manage ADHD, and am prone to “thought spirals.”

When the shingles come back, you know it’s been a bad few months.

So - rather than leave work in software to game or such, I paint. Oil paint. My own or masterwork copies. I get lost in art history. I “let” the spiral happen when it needs to happen.

I know I should also exercise more. We all should.

But mostly - painting, crochet, jigsaw puzzles, wood working, my therapist, learning abt philosophy, and pretending to exercise all seem to keep me going.

But I won’t lie. There are improvements to be made. Entire months where a belief that if I walk off the face of the earth, I will let those around me down … sometimes is all that keeps me going. My biggest triggers are money (i dont have much) and what others “must” think of me.

Iterate. Note what worked. What didn’t and note that you woke up today so there is something that worked. Even if it was “stayed in bed and played minecraft all day.”


👤 altereds
I see the usual exercise and other self improvement activities listed which are all good for your physical and mental health. What I see is among the self improvement and tasks most forget to take time to enjoy the day or reward themselves, this mostly comes as an afterthought or compensation for some heavy task done.

I would suggest to add this to your list of tasks and make sure you take a certain amount of time everyday to indulge in any activity that brings you pleasure or makes you happy. This is often neglected, so make this a priority equal to the other things. Make sure you don't miss out on this more than a few days. This may be listening to music which you enjoy, watching some funny show, enjoy some great food on some days, if you enjoy trekking or other physical activity ; just make sure you make time in your schedule to indulge in something that makes you feel happy or satisfied.


👤 giantandroids
Every day I..

1. Run

2. Think about my death

3. Try to eat only food grown in the ground.

I am not alone in doing [2], in fact I found out its a national tradition in Bhutan: https://medium.com/the-ascent/in-bhutan-people-think-about-d... - it sounds strange and I am not I recommending it to everyone, but it's totally changed my mindset on life and dissolved my depression and anxiety. I find when I focus my thoughts on the fact that I will die, and I have no idea when that will be, I feel a profound deep feeling of gratitude. The small trivial things don't matter anymore.

Two the biggest dysfunctions we have in western society are worship of youth and an irrational fear of death, to the point we don't feel comfortable to speak about it. We would rather pretend it does not exist and happens to other people.


👤 sAbakumoff
I've recently realized that my mind is made up of multiple unconscious minds that work together in hierarchies with various priorities. These minds are constantly sending conflicting decisions to my conscious mind in an effort to help me survive and reproduce. It can be frustrating because occasionally I want to be productive, but other times I just want to relax and watch TV. I've found that the best way to manage this is to acknowledge and give voice to all of these unconscious minds, rather than ignoring or suppressing them. Creating a schedule that aligns with my different priorities and capabilities can help me to balance the conflicting desires of my unconscious minds.

AFAIK Buddishm offers another way and promises that eventually these minds simply disappear, but it essentially means that the sense of "me" vanishes. It's very difficult to achieve it, though.


👤 lcuff
Not mentioned so far: Paying attention to dreams recalled from sleep. In order to remember them, a journal and pen by the bedside is necessary, as the dreams get forgotten within minutes.

A simple DIY technique for working with dreams is to take different images in a dream and write about the image in the form "I am , I . For example if I dream of an open window "I am an open window". I allow things from the outside to affect me. When it's stormy outside, I need to close. I am a window, people can see into me, whether I like it or not." (Keep going for multiple iterations.) There is a 'tingle test', where the meaning of the dream, when spoken or written, produces some kind of wordless aha. Most dreams have multiple layers of meaning, so don't stop the first time you get a tingle.


👤 pjohri
There are many things one can do, while I don’t manage mental health, I find exercise to be extremely helpful in maintaining an even temperament. Even if if it is just a daily walk. I also find engaging in hobbies, sports, music etc brings balance to an otherwise crazy routine.

However, I believe, the ultimate answer to mental health is about turning inwards and understanding who you are. Being able to differentiate between what the mind is creating for you and your real self. Understanding all things worldly are utter nonsense, be it relationships or friendships or religion, and then accepting them for what they are.

It is simple, but hard to do for most. Teachings from Osho may help get started. There is also a book called ‘Direct Truth’ that may help get started on this journey.


👤 bitlax
Routine, prayer, spending time with family, healthy diet and exercise, and objectively admirable accomplishments built from years of hard work.

I like positive affirmations. My wife and I did something similar years ago when we were starting out and it was beneficial. It's similar to the idea of periodically sketching out your short, medium, and long-term goals. When you have a target in mind it helps you make micro-decisions which make the goal more attainable.

For similar reasons I don't like the idea of using reminders to quit smoking. I suppose the best method is the one that works for you, but I find the most effective way to undo bad habits is cold turkey, along with maybe changing your surroundings, removing the context for the bad behavior.


👤 marginalia_nu
Talking to a therapist can be very helpful in my experience. May need to shop around, since your success will depend on finding the right therapist, but it can be incredibly worth it.

Beyond that, keeping your body healthy through eating well and exercising regularly does wonders.


👤 _huayra_
First off, I would caution anyone about doing positive affirmations, or even forced journaling exercises (e.g. gratitude journaling). These exercises are incongruent with how one see's oneself; people who are already grateful or have health self-esteem don't need to do these exercises, and those don't have them and are trying to force it on themselves only see it as a lie (subconsciously). You can't really lie to yourself and will it into existence, and it usually only serves to point out the gap between where you feel you are (e.g. low self-esteem, bad, etc) and where you want to be. That's a hard way to start.

A better place to start is to understand how your undesired behaviors ("bad habits") are serving a purpose for you, and then through that awareness build a substitute habit or coping strategy. For example, you don't have a "video game addiction"; you have a coping strategy that worked well to buffet you against the pangs of failure as you struggled in high school. The reason failure hurt so much is that your parents only conditionally showed affection toward you based on your academic success, so you never learned how to unconditionally love yourself. As an adult with a job and a family, this coping strategy is maladaptive, but is the "best" way you subconsciously feel you can deal with the feelings that continue to well up.

Two books are How We Change [0] and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents [1], although I'd recommend the former book much more to start with.

Side note: if you're picking books to read, make sure to avoid books with a big photo of the author on the cover. That's almost a sure sign of a useless personal growth book.

[0] https://www.harpercollins.com/products/how-we-change-ross-el...

[1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23129659-adult-children-...


👤 halfmatthalfcat
Therapy, exercise, eating well, working on things that are fulfilling (in my free time)

👤 sillysaurusx
FWIW, I wrote up some of my experiences here: https://twitter.com/theshawwn/status/1392213804684038150?cxt...

The key thing was for me to get my butt into a doctor's office. Prozac turned my life around.

In hindsight I got extremely lucky -- I've heard many horror stories about other drugs. But it's hard to overstate how much of an impact it had, which made me question the effectiveness of everything I'd tried to that point.


👤 janeerie
Whether these answers are helpful to people will depend on if they have particular mental health issues.

In my case, the most commonly recommended actions - exercise and meditation - trigger my health anxiety and OCD. Courses of CBT (cognitive/behavioral therapy and ERP (exposure and response prevention) have been much more productive.

Which is to say, we're all working on our own difficulty levels, and if the basic maintenance isn't working for you, don't hesitate to reach out to the specialists!


👤 formichunter
I have always been involved with lifting weights (4 times a week) and running 10km twice a week. This is pretty intense, I know, but I gravitate to it based on burning cortisol from anxiety and the calming effect it has afterwards. It didn’t stop a full blown two week anxiety episode six months ago but I added therapy and keeping a journal. This helps focus me but nothing is a cure..it’s just a lifestyle to find temporary balance.

👤 hprotagonist
when brain is tired go make meat tired too.

👤 lifeinthevoid
I seem to get a lot of benefits from power training combined with cardio, cardio on itself doesn't seem to give me equally strong mental health benefits.

👤 zahma
Every damn day I try to be mindful of my state of mind.

I will exercise, do breathing exercises, talk through things, write, make arrangements to sleep more the following night, or just call it a day before it even really starts. Sometimes I don’t have the luxury to end early or run, but I will then try to do a little meta reflection about the situation and assess what needs improvement and or can be done on the spot to cope.


👤 meowzero
The usual:

- Meditation

- Exercise

- Good sleep

- Good diet

- Therapy (when needed).

IMO, I consider meditation the most important. I spend the most amount of my waking time doing meditation. My self introspection is getting better since I'm understanding "myself" more as insight increases. My awareness of my anxieties is more apparent as I practice more. Of course, I do have blind spots, and I realize meditation is not the panacea. But I feel it's helped me the most in the last 5 years.


👤 spicymaki
Moderation in everything. Eat healthy, sleep, and exercise. Seek nature, and cultivate healthy relationships with friends and family.

👤 Swizec
Of all the things I’ve tried, the most effective have been regular exercise and prioritizing creative output over media consumption.

👤 jgbmlg
I try to behave like the person I want to be, even though I know it's all a fraud. I try to see myself as I appear to others and try to exceed their expectations of me. I can't bury my ego, but I can hide it sometimes. Even from the people closest to me. Maybe that's not mentally healthy at all. But it helps me feel a little better.

👤 uptownJimmy
Exercise, sleep, modest portions of good food, rewarding hobbies.

Not that any of it ever permanently fixes my deeper issues with anxiety or depression: I have to run/exercise every morning to feel really good and ready for the day. But I think that's the deeper point: it's the good habits that make life bearable and even (sometimes) enjoyable.


👤 drcongo
I've been self-managing depression for decades but finally had to ask for help recently and got put on SSRIs. Nothing happened for about 15 - 20 days, and then suddenly once Saturday afternoon I realised I was "happy" for the first time in many years. I wish I'd asked for help earlier.

👤 germinalphrase
1: diet 2: exercise 3: sleep

When any one of them falls by the wayside, everything else in my life starts becoming unbalanced.


👤 DueDilligence
.. daily [evening to reflect on the day] gratitude focused meditation .. either gym/walk/bike all days except sunday .. plant based diet .. zero booze .. micro-dosing LSD/shrooms alternating .. journaling when I feel the need .. connect in real time w/ friends.

👤 thenerdhead
Giving them a name. Doing things that are natural and good for you.

Hydration, walking, exercise, eating well, no artificial light before bed, moderate screentime, socializing, journaling, sleep, etc.

Try to stay away from supplements and medications unless absolutely needed. Try to find those in foods and plants.


👤 throwaway98797
when you feel {emotion} immediately say {your_name} is feeling {emotion}

go through the reasons in you head why. over time you will understand what drives it.

this may help you react the way you want vs. the way you have historically

{emotion} —> anger, anxiety, anything else deemed negative


👤 AnhTho_FR
I like https://o-p-e-n.com/: breathing, meditation, physical exercise But mainly it's been about paying attention to what gave me energy vs was draining, etc.

👤 CodinM
I do therapy, meditation and try to do stuff with my hands (right now I’m building a balsa wood RC plane). I also try to wake up very eary despite not liking it, seeing the sun as much as I can and generally trying to move a bit more.

👤 orwin
I try to learn new stuff every week, and i try practicing a new sport every year (i go to an adult sport camp for a week every year basically).

👤 soueuls
I don't remember ever having a mental breakdown. I am rarely "happy" but I am 100% satisfied with my life.

👤 Bayko
Surprised no one is saying... I don't.

👤 sys_64738
Never work more the 40 hours per week.

👤 wankle
I've been working for years on not taking myself so seriously and pray a lot.

👤 aka878
Weightlifting in the morning.

👤 Cloudef
Friends, fruitful relationship, kids, if you are lucky enough to have those

👤 swayvil
Vipassana meditation. It's pretty great.

👤 paulwilsondev
hard-ghost people with narcissistic behavior characteristics.

👤 jmakov
Daily yoga and tantra.

👤 ilrwbwrkhv
Sex and massages.

👤 sershe
Beside maintaining physical health - sleep, exercise, hydration, nutrition, not too much alcohol, etc.; as well as conditions with clear etiology like schizophrenia; I strongly suspect most of the "mental health" stuff is BS, and the key is treating emotions as dumb and unimportant, and suppressing them/working around then. Kinda like DBT with "rational" vs "emotional" mind and "wise" mind in the middle, but taken to the next logical level - DBT identifies a bunch of problems with "emotional mind" and tries super hard to move you /towards/ "rational mind", just not all the way. It's telling that there's no therapy in existence that tries to move you in opposite direction - most people on the other end of the spectrum simply don't have issues. So, why not work to move all the way?

In this context, typical attitude of validating and accepting emotions is harmful. Again, DBT distinguishes "invalid" vs "unjustified" emotions, but I think it's hippy nonsense - it's good to explicitly reject and invalidate emotions. It's not easy for problem emotions, but it's good to practice.

In reality, emotions are like zits - they are things going on in your body that mean nothing or matter little 95-99% of the time. So, ignoring or suppressing them is usually the right approach (after checking for physical causes, again was with zits - did you forget to wash your face? did you forget to sleep enough?). Looking at people "anxious because they feel sad for no reason" or "feeling shame because they are irritable and might upset other people" or such circular patterns (mentioned, among others, by Frankl in Man's Search For Meaning, although he'd probably disagree with me on other stuff), I wonder how much of the nebulous mental health issues are due to a learned pattern of focusing on one's own moods and emotions as if they actually meant something, and even if this is made worse by typical therapy. I wonder if this is why self-reported mental illness in the US is increasing despite the increased use of therapy (and drugs, some of which definitely do something, making the increase even more damning).

I think the analogy with physical sensations is similar for positive emotions - taste of good coffee is, like zits, usually of little importance and has no meaning, but explicit mindfulness of it allows you to appreciate it more. Ditto if you feel curious / loving / amused / vigorous - mindfulness helps a lot to enhance these feelings.

For a more specific example, a "mental health issue" I have is that I quickly get angry at trifles (slow software, traffic, people wrong on the internet); people would point that out as an example of how I need a different, non-disdainful approach to emotions, but it's actually a counter-example - this is the only negative emotion I appear to take seriously. So, a similar tactic - catching myself and explicitly thinking "this delay doesn't matter, I'm not in a hurry - the anger is an invalid emotion", or "I don't care what that person thinks, they have no effect on me - the irritation is an invalid emotion" works well, when I can actually catch myself.


👤 GaryPalmer
Meditation

👤 paulwilsondev
diet, exercise, and sleep

👤 aliqot
fitness and kata