At first, I was thrilled. I do enjoy coding to an extent, and thought that this was my "big break". But after doing it for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, I've come to realize that I don't enjoy it all that much after all. It was an escape after a hard days work. It was a way for me to relax. But sitting down, alone, in front of a computer screen all day every day is slowly driving me mad. My mental health is slowly getting worse and I've come to realize that I need some amount of human interaction and, more importantly, some amount of movement and physical activity. I don't believe it's my company, coworkers, or manager that makes me dislike my work. The problems I solve are interesting, my manager is truly incredible, and my coworker are all kind, encouraging, and helpful. It's simply the nature of the job, I'm certain I'd feel similar with almost any desk job where I toil in front of a screen day in and day out. I just didn't realize it as I'd never really had a truly white collar job prior. I also should note that I don't try to derive meaning or fulfillment solely from my employment. I go to the gym, I train MMA, I even dabble in stand-up comedy (though public speaking certainly is not my forte). All that to say, I don't expect to be 100% fulfilled from any job, but I just can't handle the 40+ hours a week of complete inactivity and nearly complete isolation.
I have the GI Bill, which grants me 4 free years of tuition at any public university in the country. I'm strongly considering quitting and using it. The only thing holding me back is that I have no idea whatsoever what I could do that I actually would enjoy and would meet my physical and social needs without overloading them. Too much socialization or physical activity for me is almost as bad as none whatsoever. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll almost certainly have to take a pay cut, and that's okay. I'm willing to earn less in exchange for my mental health, but only to a point. The ratio of income lost to happiness gained should be at least roughly equal.
I'm blessed to have the opportunity, time, and means to drastically alter my career path in my early-mid 20's but at the same time I'm overwhelmed with options. And I fear choosing the wrong one as I don't want to be in this same position 4 years from now.
I've tried introspecting and narrowing down my options based on my interests, but I can't think of a single career I'd like to actually make out of my interests. Working out and MMA isn't something I would want to make a career out of as it's just a way to blow off steam, and I don't have the desire to do stand-up comedy professionally. The only other interest I've had over the past ~5 years has been programming. Which I do enjoy, just not enough. Aptitude isn't a concern. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I'm certain that I could perform well doing whatever I decide, so long as the interest is there. I'm hoping that just maybe there's some perfect career path out there that I just haven't heard of or thought about yet.
After that novella, I open the floor to you. What are some good options for me to consider? What would you do if you were in my situation? Is there anything else I haven't thought of?
Thanks if you've taken the time to read this, doubly so if you then take the time to write a response. I look forward to hearing from all of you.
Without changing the industry completely, I know of two ways to make the experience more social:
- work from a coworking space (a smaller one where you actually get to know people and hang out) (edit, i assumed working from home, but that's probably not the case)
- Try sales engineer (or similar) positions - you still get to use the IT engineering skillset, but you become the interface to customers. A technical account manager is similar, but from support side.
As for college, I can only speak to my personal experience. I went to college at 26 and regret it. I often refer to it as my ‘lost years’
Check out land surveying. Haven't done it but it looks interesting from the outside, good mix of inside research and outside work.
Another reply mentioned engineering. I met a man who had been a site engineer, responsible to make sure construction projects were accomplished according to plan.
When you find the answer we'd love to hear.
I would consider using it. That would put you around a lot of people on a regular basis that are younger than you that can learn from your experience. More connections is a good thing. You don't really know your co-workers. That is why they are great but they ARENT KEEPING YOU HAPPY.
If you have enough resources to survive, I suggest going back to university.
It’s hard for me to sit in front of a computer for 8 hours straight. I feel restless. I’m most alive when running, outside, or generally out and about. Work from home is particularly hard, never leaving the house. I really want to be with people, working with them, side by side.
I’m not saying it doesn’t have things I like. And I do get engaged with fun technical work. I’ve coded since I was a kid. Sometimes I go on a coding tear on a fun problem. But I miss the “computer lab” from high school - friends sitting side by side working on hard problems, one-upping each other.
I don’t have a silver bullet but some things that help me
* I have a local network of friends and make a point to get together
* I try and travel for work to connect with colleagues
* I pair-program a lot with coworkers, which recreates a lot of the “bonding” of being side by side working through a problem together.
* consider whether your problem is more to do with team culture and not the profession per-se. Companies range wildly in how they operate.
* what drove you forward when learning to code? Can you find what motivated you and find work close to that drive?
But I really am empathetic to your situation. And don’t hesitate to ping me (my website in my profile has contact info) if you're interested in a chat.
This isn't to say that you would enjoy the same career, only that moving from programming to something "programming adjacent" was absolutely the right move for me. I make much less money, but my philosophy has always been that it's better to find a job that I'll be happy with in the long run instead of feeling the constant need to FIRE or something else.
One thing you should keep in mind is that as you advance in the industry, you shouldn't need to spend every day programming. You can move into management. But the job remains pretty sedentary.
I always thought becoming a nurse or a physician's assistant (PA) seemed interesting. (Or a doctor if you can handle the long-term commitment.) Depending on the type of unit you find yourself in, the work can be physically demanding. People who do this kind of work appreciate people who are timely, reliable, and orderly. They also especially appreciate people who are physically strong. The work can be demanding and interesting and pays well. There is a decent amount of socializing, but it doesn't have to be all the time.
Most areas of engineering also depend upon control systems and software. Have you looked at project / site engineering as an option? Depending upon your interests you could train in chemical, mechanical, environmental or electrical engineering area. Then look for field work. In my experience working on large projects gives you the added satisfaction of being able to say you contributed to the creation of specific projects.
Whenever I drive past a power station, sub-station, microwave tower that I worked on, I feel a sense of accomplishment.
It was a detour that I am glad I took. Along the way I encountered so many cool areas of applied maths: control theory, fluid dynamics, thermodynamics, finite element analysis, dispersion modelling, oceanography, the list goes on.
Ironically, these days, I'm still spending most days programming. But I am careful about what I work on.
First, the software is always a tool. People may use it to limit the impact of a flood, to warn each other about fires, or just to plan a fishing trip. I write software with real applications for the physical world, not just some self-serving engagement metric.
Second, I write software with an applied maths component. This is obviously a personal bias, but I like these sorts of problems. There are lots of smart people out there that are worth learning from. I am much happier at the end of the day if I have mastered some new concept in control theory than if I learn some new frontend framework. To each their own.
To summarise, I still write code, but I figured out what applications make me happy and motivated.
You might be able to apply directly or you could try one of the bootcamp type programs they have around[0]. Try not to spend too much money on one (preferably zero).
Fortunately tech sales pays about the same as dev work, in some cases even more.
Whatever you choose good luck!
- A trade/construction job
- Engineer
- Vehicle Mechanic
- Pilot
- Diver
- Coastguard
- Firefighter
- Outdoor activities instructor
- Physical therapist
- Driving/motorcycle instructor
Also, if you don’t want to be a stand up or a PT have you thought about becoming a comedy club owner or gym owner?
You could also become a digital nomad. The easy way is to just fuck off and leave the States (I assume bc GI bill ref). You can tramp around EU for 90 days without getting deported, no questions asked. If after 90 days you’re still unsatisfied, you could move onto Asia. The cost of living in EU is far cheaper than it is here, so if you can manage to just stash your stuff in a Pod for awhile, you’ll basically be on the level cost wise.
Why do this? You can keep the lucrative job (assuming you can find a good place to take meetings). You can force yourself to meet new people, you can absorb culture, and you can probably find a coworking/coffee shop in most cities.
Social work: If you are interested in helping others and making a positive impact in your community, you might consider studying social work. This field involves working with individuals, families, and communities to promote social justice and help people overcome challenges.
Education: If you enjoy working with others and helping them learn and grow, you might consider studying education. This field involves teaching and working with students at various levels, from early childhood to higher education.
Healthcare: If you enjoy interacting with people and have strong organizational skills, you might consider studying a field in healthcare, such as nursing or medical assisting. These fields involve working with patients and providing support to healthcare professionals.
(I had a discussion with ChatGPT about your questions, and this was what we ended up with for study suggestions)
If sitting down is bad, and I agree that it is, what about a stand-up desk or a treadmill desk or just getting up every 30 to 60 minutes to walk around?
If being alone is the problem, then what about switching into a role like professional services, customer support, sales engineering, etc. where you're technical but you're working with customers?
You can move towards management if you get the big picture and only code things you like.
One of my managers in the past would attend meetings all day and strategize. If he found a project he liked, he'd delegate someone to attend his meetings.
He figured out a way to keep himself sane.
Maybe pivot into IT work that involves more physical activities and social factors? Network engineering possibly? I imagine they move around more. Or ethical hacking. It sometimes includes physical pentests and social engineering. Maybe even IT management? Use that study voucher for it and return as the boss of geeks.
Being able to code is quite valuable so I would look into leveraging that.
If you're earning well right now maybe take some of that money and pay someone to help. People who know what kind of jobs are out there. Get a full assessment of your personality and skills. Are there agencies for this? Just spitballing here.
Lastly, try and see whether you already know deep down what you _really_ want but are too afraid to admit to yourself. That happens a lot.
I don't work in tech btw, so I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just a brainstorming session.
Things that are not 'just dev'.
Entrepreneurship is difficult but doable esp if you have the right personality type.
Ultimately you will have to figure out something you can do and either like doing or can tolerate doing.
I never have, usually get bored, etc.
Military experience could actually be somewhat relevant for sales, and the courageous kind of attitude ("I'll perform well and make it work regardless") is pretty much the main requirement.
Starting in Sales Eng could be a good way to get to know a particular Sales team and get them to know you, quickly see what its really like to be a seller, and then potentially work your way into a Sales role. Constantly being in the room to see how lots of different sellers work is like getting paid to do sales training, if it turns out to be interesting to you.
When it comes to school, even if the tuition is free, you're still investing a lot of time and effort. For someone who already knows how to program and has meaningful real-life people/leadership experience, my suggestion would just be to be realistic about what you want to do, what you really want to get out of school, and whether or not it's really necessary. Don't know about you, but I know people who seem to fall into the trap of making that kind of decision as a punt on making any real decisions.
Being able to show a bachelor's degree is unfortunately still a big deal for a lot of hiring managers, but "going to school" is also not really a binary decision; there are ways to very quickly test out of a ton of classes and get a bachelor's degree from a lesser known school, if the key rationale would be to just stamp your card. Also keep in mind that typically, Sales and Software Eng are two of the best examples of roles where being self-educated/naturally talented makes it very easy for everyone to overlook the lack of a degree... if you turn out to be kind of a natural fit in sales, AND already know how to program... having a degree probably isn't make or break for you. Learning and giving yourself room to explore can be very satisfying in its own way, but that could also just be stuff you get paid to do in a new role.
Based on what you've said, three immediate questions spring up to me:
1. Do you have any non-career goals you would like to pursue? If so, it might be a great opportunity to drop down to part-time and explore those.
2. Are you curious about other roles within the software world? Developing software is only one part of the supply chain and every link is interesting in its own right. Exploring is a career-enriching move that gives you exposure to other styles of work.
3. Have you considered consulting work of some kind? Consulting is far more people-oriented, but you still get plenty of chances to do deep work. It could be an interesting career pivot if you're that way inclined.
The coding jobs I've had which I enjoyed the most was where I had a good team which was in competition with another good team, either at the same company or at different companies. Think how boring football would be without the element of competition. If they payed you to just carry a football up and down the field for 8 hours a day, how boring would that be?
Get some frenemies :-)
This leads me to believe a lateral move to something coding-adjacent wouldn't bring you fulfillment. Perhaps carpentry OP? After all, every software engineer eventually turns to carpentry at some point, or so it would seem :P
things that made it better mainly was working in a team, pair programming, working for multiple customers at once (with regular visits to each customers office, so i'd switch focus and people to interact with frequently), do freelance, work from home, travel as a digital nomad.
also having a family helps, as that provides social interaction that i can't find on my own.
essentially i have been and still am searching for the ideal work/life balance. one key thing was to figure out what kind of activities allow me to relax and gain energy, and find a way to integrate those into my life.
Everything we use is made by someone else, you just trained yourself because you could not find a mentor, so you found many.
Good luck.
I find modern corporate software development tends to take the fun out of it.
The coding experience cam help, and it provides more opportunities for being around people.
- product management
- developer relations
- sales engineering