I know a white guy from America who had a Polish last name. When we were in London we never had any problems until he had to show his passport. After that, there was a better than even chance that people would start being rude to him. There was "Go Home Polish Vermin" graffiti (You know those cute red phone booths? Ever look in one?) and some of the news channels had a certain sentiment.
Unrelated, related story.
We got into town on a bank holiday and almost everything was closed. We saw a guy come out of a door and walk towards us. We asked if he knew where we could get breakfast and he said "Nope. Cheers Mate!" We were at a four-way stop and had to pick a direction. We ended up walking in the direction that the guy had come from.. And it turned out he had just walked out of a restaurant serving breakfast. I've understood "Cheers Mate" to mean "Fuck Off" since then.
Back to the story.
The third time he got an "OHHHHH, POOOOLISH!" from someone looking at his passport, he snatched it from the guy, smiled, and said "Nope. American. Cheers Mate." and walked in.
After the trip he reflected on how some of his UK colleagues and investors had treated him over the years. He ended up changing his name.
You can't change your skin color.
Prejudice is out there and there was always that weird moment of "Is this really happening or are we imagining it?"
Having it be subtle enough that you're left wondering, that was the most fucked up part.
So I know what you mean.
Give 'em a "Cheers Mate." next time it happens.
As a white British family, we often get turned away from half empty restaurants too.
If you turn up at 12 noon, they will hold the table even if it isn’t booked till 1.30 pm. I wonder how much revenue they leak from this as it seems so obvious to let you take the table on a time limit but they never offer.
I think some are also still running under capacity post Covid and with staffing issues.
It's one of the most culturally diverse cities on earth, that's not to say we don't have racists...we obviously do but social etiquette dictates that you keep that shit to yourself...doubly so if in the service industry.
As an aside not London related but culturally significant - during WWII American GIs needed to be warned that black soldiers would be treated equal to white, when US commanders demanded a segregated bar in the town of Bamber Bridge, all three pubs in the town reportedly posted "Black Troops Only" signs.
Please give my city another chance.
London has a huge black community and non-white residents, it's a very multicultural place, I would be surprised if the actual reason is pure racism, particularly at a restaurant.
If the restaurant has hired black women to work there, it's a bit odd that they are turning away customers for being black. Maybe there was another reason the person didn't like the look of you? Maybe just someone having a rough day and didn't want to serve any more customers etc, I wouldn't jump straight to racism, all you know is that you were turned away when they had a table, but the reason is an unknown unknown.
You say "You don't know what to make of this" but then your title says 'racism'... the reality is something odd happened that you don't know what, I wouldn't hold on to that, just get on with your day, there are plenty of real dicks and real bad apples to deal with, rather than assuming that because something strange happened it was for this reason.
I'm not knocking you, you likely feel this way for very justified reasons, i.e there are a lot of racists out there and it is an issue you have to deal with that you should not, but it's not worth adding to that with something you don't for sure know is the reason.
She turned around, had a look around and gave us a table.
I have no idea what the people in front of us did wrong. They seemed pleasant and polite. But everyone involved was white, so I wouldn't necessarily take your issue as racist.
I (a white dude in my 30s) recently went to a high end clothes shop, intending to buy a nice shirt for Christmas. As I asked one of the sales assistants for help, she instantly proclaimed they "have nothing in my size" and that I "must use their online store". This shocked me a bit as, while in a big guy I'm far from huge. I work out a lot, and I'm a tad big, but come on... I asked if I could try the largest shirt they stock in store and she reluctantly agreed, and after putting it on it was about 4 sizes too big.
The thing is, I walked in wearing a dirty fleece jacket, and I hadn't shaved for about 2 weeks as I had been really ill, it was my first day back at work for for a while.
The experience felt alien to be because usually the sales assistants will fight for my attention - presumably because I look like good commission. Except on this one occasion I looked like trouble - maybe a homeless person taking the piss :)
While I've never experienced racism, for obvious reasons, and can't testify to what that feels like, I suspect this is a low level variation of the same effect that black/east Asian people experience daily. The hostess sees you approach and instantly stereotypes you as a certain type of person. Obviously, racial stereotypes will play a part in this classification. But just like I was classified as "scruffy weirdo" by the sales assistant in the clothes store, I might just as well have been turned away by the same restaurant you went to, had I gone there looking like I did.
I could go and tell you "ayo, you need to change your external appearance for people to treat you right" that sounds... incredibly patronizing, racist and wrong. So I'm not going to do that. But at the same time it is a solution to this "problem"... just like the when I went shopping the next day, I had shaved and put on a clean shirt, and suddenly everyone was happy to help and had clothes in my size to sell me :/
Summary; it's more about classifying people based on their external appearance than it is about straight-up racism. I'm sure they had a table for a black guy in a Gucci suit, and they would've been fully booked for a scruffy, homeless-looking white guy.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/law-and-courts/discriminat...
I thought most of the racists had moved to Herefordshire.
In fact, our experience was almost identical in a restaurant in Windsor, and after we were allowed in, we were sat in the worst spot behind a door, not allowed to use a different table and the waiter outright ignored us. A white family came and were given a great table, and attended to. All other tables were empty.
A few things helped:
1. Calling them out on it. If you have the energy and you feel it’s worth it, it’s worth escalating to the manager. Sometimes I’ve met racist managers too but in most cases they apologize, chalk it up to a misunderstanding and give a discount. In the case of the Windsor restaurant the manager told us to leave when we mentioned how badly we were treated , which we reported and were told that they had a history of it. But in other cases it’s worked out well.
2. I hate doing it, but I had to reflect on my own appearance. I had naturally wild curly hair, and a beard. This was neat for my hair type but not by straight hair standards (hair based racism is a big thing). Even though I was well dressed, a lot of people would look at me when I was single and distance themselves or not allow me in. So if I was going some place and I didn’t want to deal with it, I’d straighten my hair and try and find a female friend to go with me. This is also the case at border crossings. I’d get pulled aside for questioning or security checks more often, but when I travel with my wife or female friends, I’d always get passed through. There’s a lot of distrust for what people think are “scruffy, lone men” even if the reality is that they’re comparing to their racist aesthetic senses.
3. Find someone from your demographic or closer to it, like you did at this place. When we moved to the UK as a kid, my mum would do that and it took me a while to understand why. It was because she was initially treated poorly by many of the non-Indian staff and finding an Indian person there helped because they’d understand and help out.
4. Use humour. When I first moved to Canada I was greeted by a lot of racism. People outright refused to shake my hand. I found making jokes about their behaviour towards me , or the situation as a whole, either made them feel foolish or broke the ice enough that they felt momentarily endeared enough to see past their biases.
Dealing with day to day racism as an individual from other individuals is a form of social engineering. I try and understand their headspace and work around it. In most cases these people aren’t actively trying to be racist , but they’re also very unaware about what they’re doing. Those are the ones you can work around. The ones who are actively participating are the ones I move on from because they often get violent.
London can be great. It can also be incredibly disappointing when you’re confronted by the isms that we had expected to have been excised.
I would recommend giving your hard earned money to people that appreciate it. In my experience the non-racists offer tastier cuisine.
The recently released Abolition Revolution by Aviah Sarah Day and Shanice Octavia McBean might provide context on current dilemmas in Britain.