Is your memory as bad as mine?

OH yeah. Coming up on 40 and I forget so much shit now. I'll forget I watched some movie a year ago, start to re-watch it, and go "wait a minute..." I also make really dumb errors writing that I never, ever used to. Homophone mix-ups and such, even when I know which one's correct, the wrong one goes to my fingers. Omitting words, that kind of thing. Didn't do that ever before 30.

I also barely have what they call an "autobiographical memory"—I remember that things happened, but any kind of timeline and about 90% of the specific images or details a normal person recalls, I don't, as in, I can know "we went to the beach last Summer, it was at city X, we went to such-and-such attractions" but barely any of what normal people would call memories. What month was it? No clue. Specific memories of what happened? Not really, a few disconnected images and all I can do is fill in the rest with guesswork that often ends up being a smear of all the times I did anything similar.

But that part's always been the case. You'd think it'd make it hard to live life but I made it to almost 30 before I learned that wasn't normal, and learned somewhat later that it's an actual disorder of some kind that's just barely starting to be understood.

It does make "tell me about a time that..." questions in interviews absolute hell. I either have to take extensive notes all the time and then study them before interviews, or basically make something up. I cannot come up with that kind of thing on the spot, from my actual memory. And "write about what you did this Summer" was always the very hardest assignment all year, through grade school. Hated those. And now I know why! Hahaha.

Mid-life burnout/overwhelm and long term low-level stress can all contribute, in my and my team's. experience. You've not mentioned gender either - menopause in women can cause brain fog etc.

You end up feeling like "25 year old me was so much sharper and quicker, wtf?!"

Assuming that: you work in tech; you're probably not neuro typical; you've developed so many coping strategies for life's ups and downs you don't even think about them;

... have a look at what does stick in your mind. Are you spending a lot of brain power on underlying anxious thoughts, stuff that's always flying around your head that maybe focusing on work helps to ease? Is your mind acting like something's hogging the CPU?

Are you depressed? Do you have any substance abuse issues? Do you have sleep quality issues? If yes to any of those, bingo, very likely. (Think real hard before saying "no" to any -- these problems can be hard to spot, sometimes.)

If you don't have any of these problems, then, yes, if what you are describing is typical for you, you may have something else going on and potentially worth asking a medical professional about. (And of course, if you do have any of these issues, talk to a medical professional, in any case.)

We all have lapses of memory, but in healthy adults, they tend not to interfere in normal day-to-day functioning.

Huh. Interesting question. For me, I think I have really good memory for certain things, and fairly spotty memory for others. I've always assumed it was down to a question of focus and interest. That is, things I'm interested in and care more about, I retain more.

Strangely enough, just yesterday I went for a physical. My doctor was talking about something drug related, and like 20 minutes later he said something else, and I interjected with a comment like "Wait, earlier you said X, now you're saying Y, so does that me we could Z?" He goes "wow, you have a good memory." Meh... I don't know about that, but the subject at hand was important and interesting.

OTOH, I feel like I have a lot of trivia stuff into my head, but am pretty bad at what another commenter described as "autobiographical memory". I could tell you nearly nothing about what I did on, say, Monday of this week. I mean, I know I went to work, because I always go to work. But beyond that? Not much. Does that matter? Probably not, because I think it just means nothing particularly interesting or novel happened on Monday. But I could tell you all about the day a few weeks ago when I was driving to work and a mattress (or something) flew off of a truck in front of me and landed in the road right in front of my vehicle and nearly caused a big wreck on the Interstate.

Anyway, at the end of it all, I think the answer to this question is the same as a lot of questions about health issues on the Internet: if you're genuinely worried, go see a licensed medical professional. Maybe it's nothing and you wasted a half day on a doctor's visit. But maybe it's something and going in and getting some kind of treatment will save your life.

Not enough context. Do you only watch football once every four years? Probably you don't care enough and have enough context of strategic moments to create memories. The more you care + context, the better the memory will be, see LeBron + Magnus. { https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HG6M2xQZvj0 , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC1BAcOzHyY }

As I got into my 30's, I eventually hit a point where my short-term memory was embarrassingly poor. My brain simply wasn't what it used to be. I started taking a multivitamin most days, and it dramatically improved.

A coworker confided similar fears he was experiencing early-onset Alzheimer's or something. I shared that I had similar experiences and getting more vitamins helped.

I don't know which vitamin(s) I was missing, specifically. I don't know how common this is. But a simple daily multivitamin and a consult with a doctor might fix things.

I'm about your age now. I had great working memory when I was younger. I can tell mine's has gotten significantly worse since my late 30s over what seems like a gradual decline. Part of that is age. Part of that is that I have dependents and a lot less sleep. I expect mine's to continue declining. Because of these experiences, I definitely appreciate my father more now than when I was a teen. I remembered that he was a lot more careful, mindful, and thoughtful in decisions and actions, whereas I was impatient with what I knew was the right answer (despite that, much of the time, it had more to do with memory).

I've been taking Lion's Mane (mushroom) and Omega-3 EHA+DHA as supplements to help with this. Keep in mind that the value of Lion's Mane is the long-term effect from taking it daily, and that one overdose symptom of Omega-3 DHA is insomnia. I'd really would rather not take caffeine, though the few times I do, I notice that thoughts referencing memories are able to connect better.

I have been getting more and more episodes of "not remembering the obvious", I forget words and even big events like the mode of transport (plane, train) I used on a trip. I started to forget things more and more while I used to have a very precise memory, but lately it's been failing on some things. It worries me. I don't use any substances but I used to do a little bit of alcohol abuse in college. The main factors that I suspect might be - diet rich in sugars, absence of any physical activity, a few years of semi-depression that is getting better now and an insane amount of stress that makes me rather numb. But yes, this is a new thing for me.

Oh, man, yes. My memory is pretty bad. Especially, it turns out, with coding stuff.

I recently started to record myself making coding projects. It’s been really enlightening about some of my bad habits. For example, I look EVERYTHING up with a search. I knew that I did this, but, watching myself, I’m learning it’s worse than I imagined.

Also, boy do I ignore my editor and let it work against me instead of for me. I gotta fix that.

You can watch me struggle on YouTube if you want to see what I’m talking about. Most of my videos are scheduled to come out in the next few weeks.

http://youtube.com/codazoda

I think this is also related more with the un precedented proliferation of technology in our lives. With land based telephone we used to be pretty comfortable with remembering atleast a few contacts we frequently talked with.. with cellphones I dont think anyone bothers with that any longer. Same with anniversaries and reminders etc.. put it in an app and forget about it. The app will remind you when its time. Proliferation of these devices has led to another proliferation — ad based content and competition for attention. We are consuming just soooo much of content nowadays, the rate of data input has gone through the roof. And most of it is pure junk.. all the news, the tweets, the netflix/prime/Disney content etc that we consume— its probably overwhelming our brains. We are offloading all the important stuff to devices in return for trash that our minds find no value in. I feel this is making our memories more ephemeral and we are slowly moving from ours minds being long term stores of value to short term stores of junk. Its a behavior modification at scale that probably no one realizes is happening

In all my prior jobs, I was able to focus deeply on one or two things; picking up a new language over the weekend was not a big deal if instrumental to some goal I was working towards.

Some time ago, I took a position at a large financial company and do nothing but shuffle from meeting to meeting on wholly unrelated topics. Between the stress and constant context switching, my memory is useless in or out of work.

So, just wondering if you are in an environment with stress and constant context-switching?

I don't know how I get through life, really. I can't recognize faces or names, even to the extent that my mother could walk past and I might not know her. I'm good on many kinds of facts though and have good analytical skills, and see very deeply into both things and people. Therefore I use my instant-to-instant consciousness to keep me safe in a world I have to continuously reassess... do goldfish have similar experiences?

I, too, am 41. For the last five years, I've noticed that my mental performance has become more sensitive to physical changes. I had a particularly bad day with my memory one day when I woke up an hour earlier than I normally do. Another time, my wife had to point out that I hadn't eaten in 12 hours when I complained I was feeling worn out (I didn't think I was hungry). If I'm stressed, sleeping poorly, haven't exercised in a while, or haven't eaten well then I will at turns having trouble focusing, thinking, remembering, or even having energy. It's been a long time since looking good as been my primary motivator for going to the gym.

I suggest, if you get to a point where you're concerned about your mental performance, examine these physical factors to see how you're doing. Stress in particular can creep on you. If you're only going on vacations for family events and not taking time off for your own mental health you may be more stressed than you even realize.

There are studies looking at financial decisions by age. IIRC, one concluded that before age 25, investment outcomes are still ramping up. Between 25 and 65-70, investment outcomes are fairly flat. But they also concluded cognitive abilities peak in the early fourties. The explanation given in the study I read is that by that time, experience takes over to smooth things over. (One issue I had with this study was that I'm not sure they controlled for macroeconomic cycle; it was a very concentrated cohort in time.)

My own thoughts: If society indeed needs both analytical skills and quick decisions, it's clearly better to have old/experienced people be the ones to rely on gut feeling, than the younger population. It's possible that the ability to learn is designed to diminish with age, sacrificing accuracy for speed. And so I'm rationalizing my own cognitive decline with "I'm not alone" and "it's meant to be." ;)

36, relatable. My recall and retention both seem to improve with all the basic (yet rarely completely implemented) grandmotherly advice you can imagine: sleep regularly, enjoy as much daylight as possible, exercise daily, eat the rainbow, meditate (ok, grandma never included this one), spend time with people that make you feel good.

Get checked for ADHD. I thought my memory was awful, and in some ways it is, but there's so much more to it than that. At 44 I was diagnosed, and 1.5 years later I'm learning so much about how it affects my every day life.

Of course, hitting 40 is part of the equation, but the way you described it sounded pretty familiar.

Looks like selective memory, football is quite insignificant to your own life, so your memory skips it

Same thing for the name of someone, or other things not crucial even in your job

I think it can be even be a good thing to be able to ignore these "distractive" pieces of informations to better focus on important things

Around 35 years old I realized I have a nasty soy sensitivity. And as I have become able to rule it out of my life, my memory is becoming fantastic.

It makes me wonder what my life could have been if I knew when I was young, but it's all bonus to me.

Sorry to brag but it's one of the best things in my life.

Bad (and/or slow) memory too. By slow I mean I’ll remember later but not when needed.

With football, if you are not into it I think it is OK not to remember. Often there is peer pressure to watch this stuff. Can’t wait till it is over so I can hide my lack of interest in other people playing sports.

I print out stuff to remember who is in what team as the teams shuffle around alot.

BBC has a puff piece saying eat blueberries and green tea, guess there is not much to lose trying that.

My issue is yes I can remember stuff if I try but I don’t soak up everything in realtime. In conversation I am either paying attention or remembering details but not both.

Not sure on the answer!

More sleep, healthy diet I guess!

People around me have started really forgetting things, to the point where I've had to remind a co-worker twice in the space of 5 minutes what they were supposed to be doing, or repeating conversations I had with friends a few weeks ago to remind them what we discussed. Myself, I don't have any issues, my recall is pretty decent for most things, such as counting back the meals I've eaten over the past week and with whom. Mind you, I'm the only one who regularly plays computer games, exercises and balances their meals.

Yes, absolutely, and impacted significantly by COVID and working from home. Some of it is getting better, but at 53, my recall and ability to pick up the minutiae of IT stuff is not what it used to be.

I have sharp memory about stuff I actually actively care about when I am not tired.

When tired, or when not interested really (like binge watching youtube smartness) I forget everything.

Is this something that is relevant in your case?

It’s never been great. I can barely remember what I did over the weekend or if I read a book I can’t remember what happened in it, just that I liked it. Asked my dad about it and he said he’s always been the same way which made me feel quite a bit better. On the flip side I’m great at remembering where I put things or where things are. I have piles of crap I can instantly recall the contents of when needed. When my SO cleans though it throws me for a loop.

> Does anyone else have a similar struggle and is there anything you think I could do about it?

Yeah sounds like we're in a similar boat. My forgetfulness has been like a tragic running joke with friends and family. It's been less of a problem at work due to notes and project planning.

I just treat everything like work now and keep a pen and notebook/bookmark in my pocket at all times. Have so for about 15 years now. It mitigates most of the issue.

Absolutely! I'm 40 years old exact and I've never had a particularly good short term memory. In meetings, I have to write every new piece of information down in notes, otherwise it's gone completely. Fortunately, i have excellent long term memory, so once something gets in there I can remember it forever.

In grade school and college, I had excellent reasoning skills but my short term memory was pretty average or less than average.

One thing I found out that made me feel much better about my memory is that I have a GREAT memory for things I personally care about. Stuff I don't care about is gone, poof. Oh well, it can always be found later. Names I've always struggled with, that's probably something different. If you're forgetting stuff that doesn't really matter who cares?

I have bad memory at times. Mostly concerned when I forget something I know well. The other day I forgot the word "distributed system",which I use a lot. Felt embarrassing.

I noticed it's way worse when I don't sleep.

I have serious dust mites allergy, I wonder if that has a great effect (my nose is always partially blocked).

When I code I work well, I seem to remember a lot of details, to the point it surprises me.

Try learning a new language with Anki or something that you have to actually memorize.

I thought my memory was going to shit too but I am pretty sure I basically took 15 years off from even attempting to memorize anything.

4 months of Anki and I feel as sharp as ever. I wouldn't doubt memory is not that much different than sitting on the couch all day and then wondering why you can't run a mile like you use to.

Just turned 39 and I'd say my memory is sharper than it ever was, assuming that I'm in a sharp state of mind and not dozing off.

I think the secret is to keep your mind active - if you regularly try to remember stuff you haven't thought about it in a while, access to those memories becomes more readily available.

Yup, it's been improving again lately, had to take close to a year off due to burnout, also vitamins, sport, sleep, and more time with irl friends/coworkers. Now back to a point that feels like 80% of preburnout.

Check your blood B12 vitamin. Make sure you're at least that triple of the recommended minimum levels. Take 10000mcg suplements if necessary. There is no risk of overdose.

I forgot the question.

I write almost everything down. I take notes everyday ha.

Yes, very bad memory with regards to details. Which makes it frustrating listening to people here rave about command line utilities and vim shortcuts.

Yeah I have terrible memory the last few years. I attribute it to low-key depression as in.. am I even interested in remembering this?

"Bro, 39, it ain't 29,"

- Shaquille O'Neal

Did you care about the match at all? The mind aggresively prunes information that have no utility for you.

After having kid my memory, well actually my physical health has been on a straight down hill jog.

I'm the same age as you, and it depends on context. As a kid I could remember pretty much everything, and as I got old my attention span has slipped and I can easily forget stuff that someone JUST told me. I see it more as a case of forgetting to pay attention more than anything.

Random fact that interest me, those stick around for years with no effort.

For work, and I suspect that what you care most about: Take notes, always be taking notes. Doesn't matter where, as long as you can look things up relatively easy. This is something I've just started doing a few months ago and it has helped immensely. It can even make you look like a blood genius when you can hand over a complete set of meeting notes to your boss. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but it helps me stay focus on the person who's talking and having notes is a godsend if you're in a meeting regarding a task you won't be working on right away.

TLDR; You're probably fine, but consider if you're paying attention to what you're doing and regardless: For work, always take notes, it will help you.

I’ve noticed this since the lockdowns in 2020/21. We were locked down quite heavily in the UK and the days just started to blend into one. So it’s understandable that my memory during that period would not be great, particularly recalling when things happened. However - since we got back to normal it hasn’t recovered. I forget half the things that happened in the last year until I see photos reminding me. Stuff that feels like it happened recently happened a year or two ago, and vice versa. My partner has the exact same issue.

I was pro lockdown (until we got the population vaccinated) and I still believe that was the right thing to do. But I also think there are knock on effects small and large that we are going to feel for a long time. My memory being out of whack is definitely one and I’m curious if anyone else has seen a similar change?

-Ask HN: Is your memory as bad as mine?-

I dont remember

did u get covid?