Why do Engineering managers lie in 1:1 meeting?

One thing I once saw a coworker do but I never managed to do for me was he'd write down what he'd just done, every 30 minutes or so over the day. He told me he does that so whenever someone would come and ask him how he had spent his time at work he could just read out his records. I think that's smart.

These days almost everything I do I do under git version control. I wrote a script that goes through all the dozens upon dozens of project directories and collects all the commit histories, so I can run that and get a chronological view of all the things I've done over the past days and weeks. I can say that I often do it just to see it for myself and I often find some things in those logs I could not have told you from memory.

This is just one teensy piece to get along with a problematic manager but might help if you walk into those meetings withs reams of printouts, ideally after having marked off the more important stuff.

There are companies that do better.

That said, corporate culture is soul crushing for the most part. And it even got worse in recent years because of additional language and behavior rules and strive for "professionalism". Which geniuses thought people want even more of that? Seriously, it is like letting children take control.

Perhaps look for smaller companies. There is as much high tech here, chances are you are even much closer to it and it doesn't have as many of the usual suspects that drive such cultures.

Competence also doesn't mean that you will be loved. Some just feel threatened. Especially often true for managers that have to justify their leadership position to themselves and others.

If it doesn't get better I would recommend to look elsewhere.

That would be very manipulative.

Next.

Create more options for yourself so you can effectively care less and less about that and more and more about what option is better for your career. Don't try to fix it. If the company has a bad manager the obvious consequence is that talent gets repelled and it is a company problem, not your problem.

Your problem is to be responsible with moving your career further. And by the point the relationship has reached, that's probably be better done in another company.

I'm sorry you have a bad manager.

You are also likely in a company with a corporate culture where it is very difficult to let people go. Your manager may want to replace you, but it is too difficult or impossible to let you go unless you do something egregious, so he will just treat you poorly until you quit.

No job is perfect, but I would bet you could find one where you'd be happier.