This is a tough position for me because I'd like to stay - I truly beleive in the product and it's mission, but I can't help but feel like abandoning ship before everything goes down in flames.
Would be grateful for other founders to share just how hard it was to get that first round of funding, or if such a long delay is a pretty bad sign, as well as any other early (think 3rd or 4th) employees who were in my shoes and can provide similar advice.
Last job: it never happened and we ran out of runway. Similar story to yours - cagey founders who didn't want to promise anything but always remained optimistic. A deal kept getting pushed and pushed, and eventually everyone lost their jobs.
Tbqh the biggest lesson was that lack of transparency means that things are bad. Just ask specifics, like what the current runway is, have the founders forgone salary to extend it, did they receive a term sheet, who are the partners that they're speaking with at which VCs, etc. They should have exact answers to those questions.
My advice from being a serial early employee is to start looking for a job the second you don't have faith in the founders to execute. It will usually take you longer to find the next gig than you will get in severance if everything goes to hell. It doesn't hurt to be on the job hunt.