This pattern is still with me today. I'm always tired in the morning and early afternoon, but wide awake at night. It's getting to the point now where I probably sleep around 3-4 hours on average in the week then sleep for about 10 hours on the weekends because I get to sleep all afternoon.
I've tried all the typical stuff like "having a routine" and avoiding blue light exposure in the evening, but it seems to do next to nothing for me.
I feel like every year my insomnia gets a little worse and it's beginning to have a noticeable impact on my wellbeing and productivity at this point. For example, I'm beginning to struggle to tie sentences together and I find it hard to solve difficult technical problems.
I'm almost certain nothing anyone will say here will work, but I'm open to anything which might help me end this endless exhaustion. Ideally I'm looking for unusual suggestions because like I say, I've tired everything people typically suggest when it comes to good sleep hygiene.
Iron deficiency: can cause restless leg syndrome making sleep difficult. Can be checked with a blood test, and cured with iron supplements. This is what was keeping my daughter from sleeping.
Sleep apnea: not just for old fat men. Under diagnosed and exceedingly common. Can be diagnosed with a sleep study and "cured" with a CPAP machine. This is what was keeping me from sleeping. Most doctors are really ignorant about it. My mother and my father in law both audibly stop breathing in their sleep and snore loudly, but both their doctors told them they couldnt have apnea. In my mother's case, it's because she was "too cheerful".
Not saying you have either of these things, but physiological causes are often missed by doctors, especially PCPs, whose only job I can see is to collect copays and inconvenience people. Rule them out because it's easy to do, and if either is a factor, folk remedies won't do shit.
I would be thinking about whatever argument I had had that day, or perhaps something I was dreading about tomorrow.
I took up reading before bed (fiction! Don't try to be productive by reading textbooks!). Focussing on a story for 20-30 minutes really helps me cache-evict all the stressors that keep me awake.
I also stopped programming after around 8pm or so. If I programmed later than that I'd still feel wired at bed time.
I'm also trying spending a little more time in single-player games rather than multiplayer. There's something about constant racial slurs over chat, mic spam and general toxicity - it seeps into my mood and I wish I'd realised it earlier.
I suspect part of it might be that I have to urinate more or something so don't stay asleep.But maybe it's just natural.
One other obvious thing is caffeine. It can keep you awake for like 12 hours or more even if you aren't otherwise feeling particularly stimulated anymore.
But it sounds quite serious so I think you should get some specialist medical help if those things don't resolve it.
One day, I realized that the issue, for me, was one of perspective.
What is the purpose of going to bed at night? In the end, if I just felt more rested than when I got into it, that at least would be an improvement over a sleepless night spent trying to go to bed.
I began doing breath awareness meditation at night. I figured that in the worst case, if I was truly unable to fall asleep the whole night, that 6-8 hours of meditation would certainly leave me feeling far better rested than when I got into bed.
In reality, what happened instead after a few nights is that I would drift off to sleep within 30 minutes, and have not been an insomniac since.
Of course, I still have a bright light source from my computer screen, but avoiding using other lights in my room did help.
I guess it also depends on where you live, sometimes natural lighting can be counter-productive if you live in high latitudes (not an issue for me), in which case maybe sth like "no lights after 6pm" might help.
As I said, it only shifted my biological clock for maybe an hour or so, which is a significant change but isn't a panacea.
Hope it helps.
Things I pay attention to when I realize my sleep isn't awesome:
* I meditate twice a day, if even for 5 minutes. Usually 10-15 minutes.
* I start my "going to bed" routing a bit early... usually around 8pm if I want to be in bed by 9 or 930pm. I consciously disrupt ruminative thoughts during this: no thinking about work, no negative self-talk, no circular thinking. Wash dishes slowly, put things away, tidy up the house, etc.
* I have a few playlists programmed in Alexa for bedtime: piano sleep, Max Richter sleep, Dustin O'Halloran sleep. I rotate each night.
* If I'm really bothered or restless, I'll listen to a yoga nidra bedtime recording. Sometimes a voice & words will do the trick and quiet my mind.
* There are some "bedtime yoga" routines on Youtube that I've found helpful. I find it best to do it before trying to go to bed -- I do this when I sense I'm a little wound up.
* If I'm really, really still restless, I consciously disrupt my thoughts and count my breaths to 40. I start with deep breaths and then let them normalize into longer, but regular breaths. I never really make it to 40, I'm not sure I even make it to 20.
Thing is, I don't really have to do this very often. Good sleep kind of builds on itself, especially if you find the habitual routines and stick with it.
-as few stimulants as possible, the optimal amount being exactly 0(no nicotine, no caffeine)
-no eating a few hours before sleep
-working out in the morning/afternoon(lifting and cardio)
-melatonin before sleep
-blue light glasses
-night mode on all my devices(warmer colors or even just devices turning off automatically)
-complete darkness and no distracting noises
-cold room, I've seen some people recommend 16°
-orgasms every evening
-mindful meditation before sleep
-no alcohol
-earplugs or relaxing binaural beats in comfortable earphones when trying to sleep and an eye mask
-the best bed/blankets/pillow you can buy
-a relaxing shower/bath
-a short walk in nature in the evening
I also used to take a bunch of supplements and very good food, and while it wasn't aimed at improving my sleep it probably improved my health/wellbeing which indirectly improved my sleep
If nothing works then indica weed, vaped or in edibles taken a few hours before going to bed lol
BUT, I had trouble getting to sleep my whole life and for about the last 7 years I've been able to get to sleep in much more normal timeframe. After trying most of the other things in this thread (cutting caffeine definitely helped). Two things that have seemed to really work for me:
I have a 7" tablet on my bed and I put on the SAME EPISODE of the SAME tv show each night (currently Psych S4 E1 - though it does change occasionally). I keep the volume low enough to not really hear unless I'm trying to listen to it and the brightness at almost the lowest setting. This is contrary to most advice on the subject and I write it here not to recommend it as a first choice. It is however what seems to work for me when other things didn't. The goal with the content is something that the plot doesn't matter and that you know like the back of your hand so it won't keep you awake to find out what happens BUT it's enough stimulus to pull your attention from your anxieties.
I added a ton of pillows to my bed (11 total). I put 3 on top of my body like a weighted blanket and have pillows to hug on either side of me. I can change to several different sleeping positions without significant pillow re-arrangement.
- Giving up alcohol completely.
- Losing weight, from 215lbs to about 165.
- Avoiding caffeine after 2pm -- others are more sensitive though, so you might have to nuke it entirely.
- Started taking an SSRI. Obviously this is not a sleep protocol, but I'm convinced it helped me. My mind is no longer spinning with anxious thoughts when I'm in bed.
- Avoiding drinking fluids at night. My bladder is championship-level, and I almost never have to get up in the night to urinate, but it can disrupt your sleep even if you don't get up.
My dad has a lot more trouble sleeping than I did, and he's been having a much better time sleeping since taking some supplements that Dr. Andrew Huberman suggested on one of his podcasts. Look up his episodes on sleep. I'll look up the supplements later, when I'm home.
I went in two phases, the first phase lasted about 10 years and was managing my insomnia.
Phase 1. Decrease bluelight, get moderate exercise during the day, don't watch tv after 10pm, fast low dose chewable melatonin taken an hour before bed and reading a boring (really, just find a good story you know you like but have already read before, something with a low enough reading level that you can read it even when semi awake) but easy to read book on my OLED phone screen (in bed with lights off.) Find an e-reader like fbreader, make the background black and the font color dark amber and turn the brightness down until you can barely make out the letters. I ended up landing on harry potter books, their prose is easy to read even when nearly asleep, half the time I would fall asleep with my device in my bed. This was 80-95% effective and was my equilibrium state for over a decade, not perfect but good enough unless I was very stressed.
Phase 2. Same as above but add a legal d9 gummy, I use hometown heroes idica and take a half to a quarter gummy when I take melatonin, after doing this nightly for about 3 months I stopped and now take a gummy every two weeks or so to reset any sleep drift but for the first time in my life my sleep schedule is successfully shifted to an earlier bed time. THC seems to suppress REM sleep cycles so you're less likely to wake in the middle of the night, make sure you don't drink before bedtime either, maximum you can do maybe a single serving of wine at least an hour before bed or not at all. If you have relied on alcohol for sleep for any amount of time the approach mentioned about will still work but you may have to tetotal for ~3 months.
Different people respond in different ways to d9, find a configuration/dose/strain that "couch locks" you. Weed has a negative effect on my cognition the next day so I only take it on Friday and/or Saturday night now once every 2 weeks or month just depending on the amount of sleep drift.
Paradoxically, it’s hard for me to sleep when I haven’t been sleeping well. So these days I am gentle with myself if I can’t fall asleep despite being tired.
but
you will always go back to your natural chronotype, so embrace it and try to arrange your life around it. Go to sleep when you are tired and that's it (don't get hooked on cheap entertainment)
Dial down your brain prior to sleep (i.e., put down your handheld device, less light, less noise, etc.). Try to mimic the environment of your predecessors.
Along the same lines, eat well (e.g., less caffeine), get some exercise, etc. A healthy you helps you get a healthy sleep.
Some research I've done on this subject that may help you:
Why do we sleep?
Our body needs sleep to rest, recuperate and do general maintenance internally on many of our organs. A good sleep thus reduces the wear and tear of our organs and makes us healthier, as our body gets some time to replace the damaged or dead cells. Another very important function is to allow the brain some much needed rest, by "hibernating" parts of it. This helps in regulating emotions (allowing you have to better control over your emotions) and also with improving memory. The brain consumes a lot of energy and thus also produces a lot of waste - so "cleaning" of the brain is also an essential function. Apparently brain cells shrink when you sleep, thus creating gaps in the brain tissues that allow more fluids to enter it and clean the waste by-product away (studies show that patients with Parkinsons and Alzheimer have brains with more "waste" than the average healthy individual).
So if you don't get a good sleep, you will feel tired, lethargic, less alert and more emotional. If this persists in the long-term (months / years), you will actually cause physical damage to your body at the cellular level, which can progress into your organs not functioning optimally.
Why can't we sleep?
Physical health issues can cause us to have a restless sleep (@schwartzworld has described some of them - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33315140 ). Mental health issues too can cause us to lose sleep or oversleep - this can be something as common as stress, depression or anxiety, or something more serious like addiction or personality disorders - all of which can degenerate into unhealthy lifestyles causing sleeping disorders. A sedentary lifestyle with few physical activities also results in poor sleep. The weather too can interfere and disrupt your sleep.
Is sleeping too much also unhealthy?
Yes. Prolonged oversleeping can cause many disease like diabetes, obesity, heart issues, depression etc.
How can I improve my sleep hygiene?
If you don't feel rested or your sleep cycle is disrupted for some reason, first consult a doctor and rule out any physical and mental health issues. (Tip for mental health issues: if you are suffering from stress, mild depression or anxiety, I highly recommend the book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by Dr. David D Burns, to learn some self-help cognitive therapy). If you have a mildly dysfunctional lifestyle, start by creating and following a fixed routine (with set waking and sleeping time) with lot of activities in the day. Make sure the activities don't spill over to your sleep time. Ensure that exercising daily - even something as just 10-15 minutes of walking the neighbourhood or to a store - is part of your daily activities. If you are not able to fix and follow a routine, consider getting professional help from a therapist.)
If you don't have physical and mental health issues, figure out how much sleep you need to feel well-rested (this will vary between individuals, but is usually between 6 to 8 hours for most adults. Seniors (60+) tend to need less sleep as they age - an indian President mentioned in one of his book that he only slept 3-4 hours by the time he was 80+). Based on how much sleep you need, fix a time to wake up (anywhere between 5:00 AM to 8:00 AM) and sleep (anytime after sunset or after 9 PM).
An important thing to remember here is - If you want to sleep early, you have to wake up early. So don't waste your energy focusing on when you sleep, but rather focus on when you get up.
So to begin with, force yourself to wake-up every day in the morning at the fixed time. To help with this, ensure that you sleep near a window with natural sunlight (if that is not possible, then try to get a smart light, with yellow colour light, that is programmed to switch on every morning at sun rise - sleep under the light so that the light shines on your face). Use an alarm clock (preferably which plays some music so that you don't wake up irritated) and keep it far away from you, so that you have to get out of bed to stop it.
To ensure that you can sleep on time, you need to develop good eating habits and eat right on time. Our body is incredibly flexible and adaptable when we are young. If you have ruined your sleep cycle, you also consume food at odd times. Consuming food is one of the important triggers that activate many bodily functions. So fixing when you eat food, eating on a regular schedule, also helps the body reduce stress and resets your body's clocks and cycle. If you have a dysfunctional sleep cycle, and you consume food when you are feeling sleepy (whatever odd time it is), your body adapts and assumes that you will be going for another late night bender and will automatically disrupt your sleep. Similarly, if you don't eat properly also (like skipping one or two meals), your body can disrupt your sleep. So try to make sure you have 3 heavy meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and 2 or 3 light meals (like tea, coffee or snack in between the major meals) on time, regularly. Ensure that dinner is always one or 2 hours before your sleep time, so that the body has time to digest the food before you sleep.
Avoid stimulating activities before bed time. Avoid stimulations, like phones, computers, books in bed, around your bedtime.
Environment - your body temperature naturally falls when you sleep. This can be used to trigger sleep too. If the temperature is not comfortable, you will not be able to fall asleep or sleep comfortably.