The private market has obviously changed a lot since then, with many people saying that valuations have dropped by 50% or so. I believe the strike price is now higher than the FMV of the shares. The company is unwilling to negotiate the value of the strike price. The next 409A will be at the start of 2023.
What are my options here? I think the strike price determined by the next 409A would be more favorable for me.
Asking for options granted at a strike price other than FMV is bad for everyone. Negotiating on strike price is kind of silly anyway. In a succesful exit, the strike price is going to be pennies on the dollar (I had a cost basis of like 9 cents per share on shares I sold for $33-60 dollars), if you halve that, it's still nothing. If it's a mediocre exit, then it makes a meaningful difference, but still pretty small. For an unsuccesful exit, it makes little difference unless you exercised.
You could ask them to do a new 409A valuation, but they're time consuming and expensive, so it's likely not worth the trouble. If you want to negotiate for something, negotiate for your options to be canceled and reissued in February if the Jan 2023 comes back lower.
the winners in the vast majority of startups are the founders and board, not the regular staffers. remember also that the people in startups have self-selected themselves out of larger, more-structured companies. This, combined with sturgeon's law, should not, by default, make a startup attractive place to be for an "individual contributor" type, financially or otherwise.
The fact that they are unwilling to negotiate is a signal that they don't understand that "everything in life is a negotiation". Beware.
You'd likely have better EV in a larger company, and far more opportunities for development and travel, if they are a multi-national. This startup-warrior mentality needs to die. PG et al made good on it 20+ years ago, when the internet was a different place and market dynamics were quite different.
Your life, your choice. Remember, nobody cares more about your financial future than you. Good luck in whatever direction you go. Remain sceptical.