I've pieced my mind back together in the mean-time (I'm no longer depressed/suicidal), but I still have severe anxiety issues and haven't worked in four years.
The nervousness that results from the anxiety tanks every interview I do, and I never even get to the technical stage (leaving me unable to even display the fact that I do actually know what I'm doing).
I really have no clue how to get back into things.
Not sure this helps but believe in yourself. The fact that you are even willing to talk about this already shows a level of self realization that few are able to achieve.