What's the biggest problem you face as a parent?

Childcare. My daughter is 3 and we were able to find a babysitter for a few hours once in her life and that was a fight. The previous generation has decided they don't want to participate in child care like their parents did (I've heard this from friends as well) and as a result my wife and I don't get to go out to dinner together.

Social media. Can my kids have a healthy relationship with it?

On the one hand, I'm inclined to just ban it. On the other hand, if every kid at school is connecting via TikTok, I wouldn't want my child to feel disconnected from their peers.

But I really worry. TikTok seems to provide kids with ready access to topics which they are not ready for, pedalled by adults who should know better.

Different category of content, but kinda funny in a despairing way. My wife is a teacher and said a recent TikTok challenge was to take a shit and smear it on a wall. And kids were literally doing it. And sharing it on TikTok!

I have only one child and making sure he doesn’t feel lonely or bored when no friends are around is my biggest challenge. Raising an only brings about challenges that aren’t discussed as much as they should be. I think there is a huge difference in being a parent of one vs a parent of many.

I got two things:

(1) School didn't work for me. Typical dumb smart kid that was bored and had mediocre grades because I was too stubborn to do homework. What sort of alternatives are there and how well they work.

(2) Struggling as a Dad with the new societal expectations. Basically I've got all the responsibilities dad's of my parents generation had (make money, fix the house/car/lawn, investments, etc.) plus the addition of half the parenting, cooking, etc that used to be 100% the woman's responsibility. To add insult to injury I'm still largely treated as a second class parent. Drs and teachers tend to talk to my wife and not me and so on.

Don't know that I exactly have a story idea with #2. But it'd be nice to see people talk about it outside of toxic men's rights subtrddits.

Childcare + car-centric urban planning robbed their safe space for play and socializing: Childcare is unreliable, very expensive, patchy, and time-consuming to sort out. School starts at 9am and finishes at 3pm. This is incompatible with working hours. Also, tt would help parents who WFH if kids could play outside (like I used to when I was a kid). They can't because car-centric street designs took their space. Children are an after-thought whose needs don't fit into modern society.

Biggest problem: inconsistency in a blended family. My kid goes between two houses. One house has rules, boundaries, and structure; the other has junk food, unlimited tv and no bedtime. Sure, I could talk about behavioral challenges that this causes, but they aren't the problem.

Tantrums. Punish them? Ignore them? Give in? A flowchart would be nice.

Bullying. Only boy is 3 and goes to a daycare setting. I think there's a lot out there for older kids but, I haven't really had a great sense for how to discuss some of the stuff I have to with him. Like when a kid hits, what if it's the same kid every day, when is defending yourself OK. My kid is a completely non-violent kid and gets his feeling hurt when other kids are. Even in disagreements, he never resorts to pushing, hitting, biting, etc. A lot of the stuff he's been subjected to are probably not bullying. But, just rougher kids (who may have older siblings so a bit more rough and tumble). My kid also enjoys sharing with friends and unfortunately that's a skill many kids his age have not acquired. However, at times, I feel like I'm raising a pacifist because I don't want to condone violence, however, I very much intend to teach him (in time) that standing up for himself is acceptable and will likely be required in some situations. I just I don't know when that is and just kind of floundering my way through. A big fear of mine is he ends up a target of bullying in a sustained manner. I personally remember being young and was never bullied because I never allowed it. There's always going to be another kid trying to show off or elevate his social capital at the expense of another kid's; and I was very aware of that dynamic and made sure to never allow it (even throwing the first punch if that's what was needed). These are different times though.

How to you approach asymmetrical learning?

My son is almost four, and has had some trouble communicating ( speech delay, some consonants not coming out in some words he "learned" earlier ) but he's all-in on bike riding ( pedals since he turned 3, no training wheels ever ) and he loves gardening with us ( can identify most plants in our garden and genuinely helps on good days -- ask him to pick the ( blueberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, borage, chamomile, calendula ) and you'll get what you asked for ).

I'm not worried about his development, but I want to brace for school where I'm sure some things will be challenging and others won't challenge him. I know my motivation in school dropped off some when that sense of having to wait for my classmates crept in. How do I keep him engaged on the things that he needs to work on, and celebrate his successes in the things that are easy?

Luckily we have good kids in the neighborhood.

The big problem we do have is google/youtube crammed down our throat by the school district. Yes, interaction with an advertising/surveillance company is required to participate. Even just under 13 where it is ostensibly against their terms of service.

I look forward to exploring your site, as someone with a 3yo looking at homeschooling and worldschooling options.

Do you have much content on worldschooling, or at least homeschooling while doing extensive travel (eg, as a digital nomad family - https://www.reddit.com/r/digitalnomad/comments/tbgeee/are_di...)?

Perhaps another topic is how to approach the option of homeschooling with your children? Now that my kid has friends at school, she's asking a few questions about it - I told her she could perhaps choose between a regular school, like daycare but 5 days a week, or doing school at home with me as her teacher.

I have never seen her laugh so hard. A full minute of deep belly-laughing, ending with "You're so silly dadda". Needless to say, I clearly need to work on my sales pitch if homeschooling remains important to me!

I think post-covid behavior problems are also big. Being locked down for two years was not good for kids. I think it’s possible to address these issues kids are facing while also avoiding the political land mines adults argue over.

Raising one teenager with severe ADHD out of three kids. Homework and general academic work is a constant battle. Reactions range from outright refusal to do anything, explaining things, 10 seconds later, having to repeat the same thing, rinse and repeat. Simple assignments take all day. The same assignment would take younger sibling 20 minutes. At worst, the stubbornness to not work through it, even with one on one tutoring or assistance will result in putting head into arms for hours. Still figuring it out. Would love more advice on that.

The biggest change since the 1970s when I grew up is the complete bubble kids are kept in, ever since Adam Walsh[1] was kidnapped and murdered. After that case was popularized, society was then fed a steady stream of fear porn.

Heck, I found myself afraid to let my child walk home, out of my sight for 5 minutes... The brain washing is so damned effective.

This can't possibly be good.

[1] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Adam_Walsh

(1) Social media, (2) Screen time, and (3) Drugs, in that order.

For teen boys who are into sports and going to the gym: supplements and steroids. Steroids are a much bigger problem than anyone is acknowledging.

As I`m a single parent - financial (there could be possibly much more - https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-struggles-of-single-parentin...). My child is six, so all of the other problems we already lived through.

I have two kids 9 and 4. I would be curious to know how to develop better growth mindset / go-getter attitude in kids?

I know the classic way is to add the word "yet" to something they say they can't.

But what are some practical activities and ideas that can be applied today?

My biggest problem as a parent is my own selfishness - selfishness of my own time and mental energy.

Where the f.. take another few hours a day?

Both are formally recognised as autistic (most of my extended family is, I haven't bothered with any formalities myself), but of the nature they are both academically very strong, the oldest one finished high school with over 95% final marks and is in first year uni doing elec eng, his younger sister is top of her year for science, math and music and I have not had to push either of them more than the odd occasion maybe once or twice a year max.

But, the oldest one was so anxious about going to uni first two weeks he was throwing up in the morning from anxiety and I wondered if he was going to be able to stick with it - he's doing fine now, looks like he will score around 98% for the advanced eng math in first semester, but it wasn't looking likely he would even attend for a while.

He was three and a half when the district nurse pointed out he had 12 words, which I hadn't really noticed because he had no problem communicating, just didn't use a lot of words. When he started primary school they said he would need a full time teachers assistant to aid him to participate in a normal school. I totally couldn't see that at the time because he seemed fine to me. Funding was declined and we just let him go and he was totally fine in the end, better than fine. But it was a small school kept very tightly in order and all expectations were very clear, so he more or less flourished there.

His younger sister is anxious quite a bit, she tends to catrasophise and I have only been able to get her on a plane once in 15 years. First few years of high school it was not uncommon for her to be crying in the car out front of school, not wanting to in. She wants to be a chemical engineer and specialise in extreme food science, but that requires a fair amount of socialisation it seems likely.

We have gotten some help for both of them and there is stuff going on to help them, from professionals.

But socialisation and avoidance of a slide into agoraphobia is by far the hardest thing to help them get along with. I am divorced from the mother and it doesn't help the younger one is not enjoying time at her mothers house for a variety of reasons, so has not spent a night there for months now.

They are both wonderful children, gentle and kind and abnormally close siblings, with reasonable manners, when they remember. Grandma is not impressed with their lacker of silver service cutlery wrangling, but I say let them use chopsticks...

I guess a lot of people would happily trade places for the positives vs the challenges and I am not unhappy about the situation in any deeply disturbed manner, but worry about them a little sometimes for if adult life takes a lonely or debilitating turn for them some how. I am hoping that the help they are getting now will avert or decrease such event/s, but you never know.

If you want something topical, abortion. Parents who've had enough children already

Public schools in the USA. In particular, trying to find a school in a decent neighborhood that isn't 90% Indian.