How do I stop flip-flopping an important decision?

If you can get a job offer from a EU company, the EU blue card scheme means you'll get a residence permit (visas are for tourists), and it doesn't strictly need a college degree but 3 years of experience[1].

But considering it feels like the world's economy is about to enter a new period of hurt (I think they're still looking for IT people?), maybe going to university now is not a bad idea, in the hopes that when you finish it in a few years, the world will be on its way to some sort of recovery.

If this were the 23rd of February and the war hadn't happened, I'd say if you have the skills/experience, apply to companies in e.g. Germany, they were seemingly so desperate for IT people that anyone competent could get a contract, and the visa sponsorship (that's been made less bureaucratic).

IMO, contact recruitment agencies in Europe and see if the agent's got the hots for you, they should know the market, and if they think you're qualified for a job, they'll be really keen to talk to you, because they want to place you and earn that commission. If they're not that keen, it's either the market or your qualifications, maybe they'll give you a straight answer.

[1] Question 1 on https://www.apply.eu/Questions/

Do it! I was a self-taught developer for about 8 years before I finally decided to go back to school. I talked myself out of it many, many times. Then right before covid, I decided I wasn't getting any younger. So I literally sat down with an intro to algebra book and took it from there. I'm 42 now and just graduated with my BSCS degree. My only regret is not doing it sooner. Did it do anything for my career? I don't know yet, but what it did do is show me that I can accomplish my goals when I focus. I learned a lot about a subject I love and am an all around happier person for it. Now I'm not waiting anymore and will be moving onto my MS immediately.

Don't think let yourself talk you out of something you want.

> why haven't I enrolled earlier?

Friend, your time is now. You can only do your best. Do your best, now.

Only God knows what lies ahead for you.

The best time to plant a tree is 20 years old. The second best time is now.

I don't know about EU immigration, but a university degree greatly helps with US immigration; even more so if the degree was attained in the US. It's certainly possible to do well in this industry without formal education, but it would be a lot harder to immigrate. Jumping through the hoops of formal education shows the ability to jump through society's hoops, which makes you a better candidate for immigration and integration into society and the hoop jumping that's required.

> Anyway, an inevitable question arises: why haven't I enrolled earlier?

You answered that; you weren't prepared, you took the time to prepare. Easy peasy. Actually, a lot of universities are looking for the diversity that older students bring, even when older student is just 10ish years; you've probably got a lot of life experience that others don't have.

One question I find can help is "What's the worst that can happen if I make the wrong decision?"

If you enrol to a university and hate it ... well, you can drop out / change majors / return to your life again, perhaps in a matter a months.

If you don't enrol? Well, in your own words, you "would be miserable".

I don't know what you should do, but just keep the following in mind:

- For high income America might be a better place. But it's also more expensive. So is money really what you want, or do you want a good happy life?

- Depending on your home country, immigration to the US can be hard. Getting a work visa can also be hard.

- University is expensive in the US, unless you find a way to get funded. But if you are US educated it becomes easier to get a job in US.

- I barely remember what I learnt at uni ;)

- Did you try getting into FAANG or similar? If I were in your situation, that's probably what I'd do.

- If it's wealth that you're after, then it's a totally different game. Understand how money works, and carefully play that game.

I'm a self taught engineer. The hardest part was getting an interview through the automated filtering and having a relevant degree may have helped with that. Could you try to job hunt and enrol at the same time? In NZ, universities give full refund if you drop out after a while (and a partial one after certain time), so you could drop out if you manage to find a junior position.

Also,

> why haven't I enrolled earlier? It almost feels unfair now. I've put so much work into everything, and for what, only to start from the beginning again?

You won't necessary start from the beginning. You will be able to excel in your courses and dig deeper with your current knowledge!

This may seem useless, but stop questioning yourself: make a choice, wrong or right, and stick with it. Making a choice, and learning to work around the consequences, is one of the most important character building events you will ever experience. Make a choice, resolve to stick through it no matter what.

Are you bipolar?

Serious question. You may need a mood stabilizer