Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

Move to Germany. Probably you had to move a bit earlier for you to enjoy the full parental leave here, but grandparents will be a great support.

Do not worry much about the small village, actually use the opportunity (lower costs) to invest in your German (learn as much as you can with classes and talking with the people around you).

Quality of life in Germany is much better than in the USA. Kita places are hard to find in Berlin, but you will be probably more lucky in a small town.

When you daughter will be 6 she will start school, and in Germany kids cannot skips school days, so you will be forced to stay put except for the short holidays during the year (when everybody is travelling too), my suggestion is to see Bavaria as a starting point to visit Italy, Austria, Germany and other countries around (at least for the first years).

Regarding careers as SWE you both should not have any problem. Worst case scenario they will require you to go to the office for a couple of days once the pandemic is finished, but it will be quite hard to enforce that :)

Also your kids will not do shooters drills in school

Bavaria, for the following reasons, IMHO:

1. Family in a quality German rural setting: Over the long term, healthy and functional family relationships are meaningful source of fulfillment, and make everything else in your life just a little bit easier. In combination with the quality rural life in many areas of Germany, it is a healthy foundation for friends, family, and children.

2. A geographically independent career: Depending on your career choices, and if money is a priority for you, you can make great money while being geographically independent. There are many different ways to accomplish this depending on how much time/effort you wish you invest, and which options you would consider.

3. Quality of life: While I am generalizing here, IMHO, the quality of friendships, family, and social connections is better in Bavaria than California. Of course this depends on your exact situation, which street you are living on, where your family & friends live, the social infrastructure of the town, etc etc.

4. Better health and safety in Bavaria: as can be found in public statistics.

5. Social development for children in Germany: For the most part, I find the quality of the social upbringing and education system in Bavaria better than California (again, generalizing, as there are bad and good patches anywhere). Speak with a few high school graduates from California and from Bavaria, and note your observations. For example I observe: How mature are they as young adults? How well-adjusted are they? How grounded do they seem?

Background: I am a career mentor with long-term US and German experience.

I'd like to echo what the other commenters said when they say consider the education of your kids. I'm from the US, but student taught in Germany while I studied abroad. The quality of the education and the sheer amount of resources Germany gives its youth is something to be admired. They will receive a quality education, have recess, and have extra curricular activities that are holistically incorporated into their education. They will not have standardized tests shoved down their throats from a young age (though there are standardized tests in Germany but their purpose and implementation is much different), active shooter drills, and lack of resources (think school counselors, textbooks, food, extra curricular activities).

My experience is based off of working in 4 different schools in the Berlin area over the course of 6 months, so my experience in limited. German society is far from perfect, there are many valid criticisms of how they do things there. But, having experienced both the US and Germany there is almost no comparison in terms of how young people are brought up.

As far as your salary goes, I hear you. I'd like to return to Germany, but know I'll make far more money in the USA. I have heard that senior devs in Berlin can crack the 100k euro mark, though there are taxes to consider. I would still say it's worth it. You will have time to spend with your kids, you won't be worked to death, you'll be seen as a human being and not simply a cog. There are some exceptions to that, some German companies genuinely suck while some US companies are great with their work/life balance. But, your chances of finding a healthy balance will be much higher in Germany. Best of luck to you!

Cost of living and quality of life will be much better in Germany, unless you count talking to your kids from the rear view mirror during a traffic jam as bonding time.

As an American living in Germany, I have also heard from Americans that even good German schools are too rigid and inflexible. You should consider what the schools look like and how they could be better in some ways and worse in others.

Flying to New York from Germany isn’t much different from CA, so I wouldn’t worry about that. I think the family support in Germany is worth having, too.

Any chance you can work for a US company remotely?

California Über Alles As a person who lived both in Germany (Baden-Württemberg) and Califorina I will strongly suggest California.

Here are some pluses:

- California has better salaries

- California has much more opportunity (starting company is easier, etc.)

- California has much nicer weather. And beautiful coast and mountains. And desert (Palm Springs and Coachella Valley area) is great too.

- California is in US (thus you can move anywhere else)

- Your kids will have more opportunity when they grow up

- Health care is much much better - yeah insurance is a problem but actual care is much better. When you end up in hospital you will see that California's 2:1 to 4:1 ratio of nurses to patient is much much batter than Germany's 10:1.

- California is much more diverse than Germany and that helps with your personal growth.

30000* Germany.

You get like an entire month paid vacation. Companies are incredibly thirsty for talent there and job security is high. The people are very nice and the job pay isn't worse enough to worry about being poor. Most large cities are within a few hours of whatever small town, so you don't have to be in the middle of a field somewhere if that isn't ideal. And for your kids the education system is waaaaaaay better.

More importantly what does your wife really want?

I really wonder how this thread would've fared if you had posted it at a different time. Because you posted it in the afternoon in Europe, so you probably received more attention from Europeans.

However, as a German myself I'd agree with most of the other posters. Your (presumably) high US salary isn't everything (especially considering the high costs of eduction, health care, housing etc. in the US). Salaries in Germany are very good compared to other European countries (comparable to Netherlands), you can live a great life there. Probably not FIRE, but o well... (also think about how the world might look in 20 years wrt climate change)

You posted that your wife has a split opinion of Germany, that Germans aren't necessarily the most welcoming (friendly yes, but it often isn't easy to become friends in Germany). That's why you should really look at least for a region/city that has a little higher population so that you can find people with whom you share hobbies. That would make it much easier to get similar-minded friends.

And similar to what another poster said: There's nothing greater than letting your kids bike to school.

Not long ago, my spouse was offered an academic position in southern CA. For us, housing was the veto even though the other aspects of the job including salary were better. The issue was that houses at the end of the international runway were a million bucks. To replicate what we have now would have required an hour commute and 5.5 million bucks. We also have kids so I think we are in a similar demographic.

So, I think you definitely want to take a look at housing and schooling, particularly if you are not sitting on a large amount of cash. I also recommend you read the book "The Wealthy Barber".

Food for thought...

700k in Santiago gets you:

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/6518-Plaza-Blvd-San-Diego...?

700k in Bavaria gets you:

https://www.engelvoelkers.com/en-de/property/stilvolles-mode...

I am a SWE in CA with 5 kids and no family support. We make it work…it’s hard but we have each other. Europe seems very different than US/CA for SWE so there’s likely a trade off there as well. One suggestion is to maybe focus on building up the initial wealth for a few more years while the kids are younger and then reassess. If you’re diligent you could get both. Family support/babysitting is helpful ideally until the oldest is middle school age where they then can start watching the younger ones. We also homeschool and I believe it’s illegal in Germany so that limits some education options.

I'm a Software Engineer from Germany, living in Switzerland and Germany.

Working in tech you'll have more than enough to live a very good life in Germany. While the absolute amount may not be as much as in the US, the amount relative to the average person will still be very good, particularly if you choose to live in the countryside, but also if you choose to live in the city.

Quality of life is very similar to Amsterdam / Netherlands, so you don't have to expect huge differences there. Bavaria is a bit more on the traditional side, and you might actually notice that (e.g. shops close very early / not at all on Sundays). While shops in Germany are generally closed on Sundays, they are open late in many of the other states (10pm, or even 12pm in the cities).

Career prospects are good to very good, particularly in Bavaria and Baden-Württemberg (neighboring states), which are the most prosperous states in Germany. In the countryside, you may have to resort to Home Office or working in a Mittelstand Unternehmen, though. Most larger cities have a small startup culture if that is your thing.

"My wife's parents would be a huge help with our kids. They're natural and eager grandparents and they're great with our daughter."

This is absolutely priceless no matter where you live.

Depending on your network in SF, you may be able to source contract work from there while working in Germany. If you can put up with not having local coworkers, you can get SF rates and pay small-town Bavaria costs and have her family to help with the kids.

Even if you commute into Munich, software developers in Germany don't get paid any where near what they do in the U.S.

One word of advice if you go down this path is to get very high quality tax advice. Contracting from overseas as an American involves the interaction between two tax systems, and it can be complicated. For example, if you don't structure the work in the right way you can end up paying U.S. self employment tax (about 15%) on your earnings.

Consider a third option: Switzerland. Salaries will be considerably higher than Germany and you’re only a few hours away (by train) from Bavaria.

I’m with a similar background (30s, Indian(having lived in India, USA, Denmark and now Netherlands) with an Austrian wife, who I met in the US. I have a kid.

I’d vote for Bavaria as well. But, I’m more curious to listen to why not Netherlands. Would you care for a chat over beer/coffee in the Amsterdam, Amstelveen area?

Email on my “about” section of HN profile.

I'm neither an SWE parent, nor American or German so I can't advice on anything related to those. Instead I think you should also consider this (ultimately more important I think FWIW): What nationality do you want your children to be? If the thought of your children growing up to be Germans is unbearable to you but if the thought of your children being Americans is acceptable to your wife then you should chose CA, and vice versa. A lot of tension tend to occur in families where one or both parents come from a different culture than the one their children grow up in.

If you plan to be in one country when they are young and then make a move to the other country when they are older then that is also something I would advice against, better chose one country and stick with it. At least in my experience, people that moved to a new country in (especially late) childhood will face many challenges, some of which may prove too hard.

In general I think people should consider the effects for the children when making these kinds of choices. It has lifelong implications for them.

I cannot speak to Germany or California, but I can speak to being close to family. I know that has been invaluable to my wife and I. We were only 4.5 hours away when we first had our kids, but it seemed like a million miles. It was hard not having support or even just to drop the kids with family to run an errand or go to an appointment. After being back it is just amazing to have family close. Having that love, help and support will ease a lot of burdens. Even in a small village remote work should be an option. I would assume (but obviously don't know) that a small village in Germany has a lower cost of living than California so you should still be able to build wealth if you both get decent jobs. Just remember money isn't everything, and having family close will ease many of those burdens.

Bavaria, having family around to help is a big big plus.

For money do remote consulting. You can take on a couple of contracts at a time and will be making as much as faang employees in cash (more work, but in a few years you’ll be almost ready to retire)

If those are the choices, I 100% move to Germany. California is a smoldering shell of corruption and handouts to buy votes from various demographics. Germany, despite the insane tax rate, actually uses their funds somewhat efficiently. BEFORE you go, I would absolutely establish residence in a state with no income tax like Florida... consult a tax accountant!

I can't speak on employment prospects, but with todays "work anywhere" rebellion, I'm sure you can find remote work if nothing else.

The mountainous parts of Germany are just plain beautiful. I would love the opportunity to move some place like that.

If your wife's parents are located somehow in Germany near the Swiss border, consider to move to Switzerland or move to the border and be a frontier worker or a remote worker for a Siwss located company.

Top qualty of life and the highest salary in Europe.

https://www.glassdoor.com/research/app/uploads/sites/2/2016/...

I've lived in CA for 22 years, just moved away, and have studied German language and culture and music for all my life and have visited several times. So I guess I can speak fairly well to this.

Overall, it pains me to say this, but I'd have to choose Germany. Climate change impacts in California are already significant (wildfire smoke, water shortages, power grid issues), and are going to get a lot worse. Yes, the income will be higher in California, but so will the cost of living, especially the part about trying to buy a decent house, which is essential for long-term financial stability. You don't want to deal with the random capricious rent increases in the Bay Area, that I can tell you. And you don't want to deal with being constantly hassled and lorded over by some landlord. That's no way to raise a family.

Germany has superior social programs, a real health care system, seems less likely to be taken over by a fascist government (at least in the near-term), vastly superior support for education and the arts, no gun nuts, and doesn't have a government crippled by Mitch McConnell. People actually care about the well-being of the entire society, there. The mass transit is, well, legendary.

I think it's a very good bet that your overall quality of life will be superior in Germany.

Find a remote job position in the US which lets you work in Germany.

I have 3 small kids. I lived in the US for 5 years while working for FAANG. Once remote become a thing, I moved to Canada. Yes I took a paycut, but I still make more than what local companies pay in Canada. Moving back to Canada I was able to afford a house in a nice neighborhood with much better public schools than I had in the USA (95124 zip code).

Germany. But maybe choose Munich over the village?

You will still be relatively close to your wife’s parents and the city has a decent startup/tech scene.

Find a remote job with a major tech company / startup. Then, move to Germany. There is very little reason to trade location for salary in this day and age, especially with the hunt for talent and the movement to work remotely.

I'm from California and once I got out of it and saw other places, I realize it isn't all it's cracked up to be, nor is it worth the additional cost.

If you have healthy kids, they become mostly independent at age 4-5. You may want to consider a 5 year plan in Germany, or even a 3 year plan, and then reassess. It doesn’t have to be a one way door.

You’ll have plenty of time to accumulate wealth beyond the next 5 years. And you’ll still accumulate some even in Germany.

I'm on the DevOps/SRE side, but from my experience moving close to my wife's family (on her dad's side) has been wonderful. Though there aren't phenomenal prospects for onsight jobs in this area, I've been working remote with decent pay considering the cost of living in the area. Having grandparents for the kids to visit, not to mention cousins to play with, is far more rewarding to me than the ideal job. of course there are multiple factors, such as Do you like your spouse's family? Or do you think your family would be more or less beneficial for the kids/you/your spouse?

in short, my family isn't yours. But giving up the opportunity provided by popular cities was good for me in the end.

> it looks like my SF colleagues make somewhere between 2 and 4 times what I do.

Why don’t you remote for a US company ?

Do you want your kids to be German or do you want your kids to be American? Do you want your kids to have the experience of a close, extended family? Or do you want them to see family as people who are distant and aloof and doing their own thing? Do you want your kids to have autonomy - to be able to play outside with their friends unsupervised? Ride their bikes to wherever they need to go?

These are the questions you need to be thinking about. Notice I never once mentioned money. You're a software engineer, you'll always have money. Oh sure, it'd be nice to have more money, but at what cost? And "career" is just a two syllable word for "job."

I think you know what you need to do.

I am also a parent. I would choose Germany without a doubt, and I have given it a lot of thought (Europe vs US (Seattle) ). Life is hard to predict, and if any of you are ever unlucky (any kind of health problem or accident), the kind of support you will get from the state in Germany, plus the help of your kids' grandparents is going to be invaluable.

Maybe in the best case your life in CA is going to be somewhat easier/better (huge career success, lots of money, all kind of experiences for your kids). But in all the outcomes in the middle, specially the worse ones, Germany is going to be so much better, giving it a huge lead on the average future timeline.

Family support trumps major amounts of things, including large amounts of salary banding.

Also remember that when your kids are older (or, God forbid, the grandparents have passed on) you still could move back.

Given what you've listed, I'd aim for Germany.

Personally, I would move to San Diego over Sacramento or a small village in Germany. San Diego has wonderful weather, plenty of outdoor activities, it is very safe, and generally one of the best cities to raise a family in the United States. Family is nice, but if your father can watch the kids one night a month, that would be plenty. If you get bored living in a small village, you may end up resenting your wife's parents. I wouldn't focus too much on career growth. If you already traveled and lived in Amsterdam and still made it work, you're probably going to succeed in either place.

I am myself a software engineer / team lead in germany ("near" cologne).

A lot of what you said is correct I guess. In the US your potentially salary is a lot higher. Although if you plan to move to germany, bavaria is a good spot. Salary there is (at least what I know), higher than in the rest of the country.

One thing that I would add to the equation is job safety. In germany you have a pretty high job safety and it is especially hard to get someone out of the job.

But maybe you get both, a living near your wifes family and the support and a good paid remote job in some big US corp (if you prefer that).

Depends on the lifestyle you want. Are you looking to make a ton of dough and retire early? CA is going to give you a better chance for that. Are you looking for a good quality of life for you and your children? Germany is better for that. You'll be working longer in Germany, so make your peace with that, but that's a small price to pay for your family to be able to put down roots and be around extended family. If it's any consolation, I'd bet a middle class existence in germany is a better life than even the average dev in CA can afford.

I came here to say Germany as well. But so many others with so much more experience in Germany than me have chimed in. It’s pretty amazing how near universal the response has been.

I’m curious how the answers would change if we shifted some of the variables.

What if the asker’s Bavarian parents were elderly and less than the ideal support grandparents? What if it were his parents living San Diego that were the eager kid helpers?

What if the family support situation was more “average” on bot sides, but located in either Bavaria or a less metrotech area of the US, say Spokane WA?

Germany. Your daughters will be safer there. Your quality of life will be higher. People are just nicer (personal experience). Your access to world cultures is better. The education system is far superior. I cannot think of two things that are better in CA that you can't find within a reasonable proximity to basically anywhere in Germany. (I can think of one: sour dough bread is better in SF)

You made it out. Don't make the mistake of coming back. The US is broken.

I was in the same situation years ago, and went with Germany (berlin) over SF. I have kids as well, and my priority was to have time to actually be with them. I can always invest more in my worklife when they are teenagers and want to avoid me like the plague.

I see a couple of people suggest working for a US company from Germany, I would advice against that. Work is a big social driver, so being disconnected from that, will make your time in Germany harder.

I'm an American and I chose Germany without a moment's deliberation. Then I read your post to see if there were factors to favor the US, but all I see are points for Germany. As for the money, I don't know your personal situation, and I'm not going to ask. But on the surface, dual income one kid and you can't save? That's all I'm going to say.

No stake in the game, but keep in mind that the time of day you're posting will have a biasing effect here (it's still 6-7am in CA)

I just moved out of California because nothing I could make as a SWE would allow me to achieve my goal of owning a home there. When I left, home values for cheap junk real estate 30 miles from the nearest employer was pushing $350,000. Now they are half a million. Then in addition to that, the cost of living was nuts for stuff like food, gasoline, electricity, water, road tolls, bus fares, train tickets, sales tax, and state income tax.

The worst part of California is you pay the taxes of a European country without the European features. The middle class healthcare is abysmal. The roads are car centric and poorly maintained. What little pedestrian and cycle infrastructure mostly goes nowhere. There is very little public transit and what they have is infrequent and runs for limited times. The schools outside the most affluent areas are HORRIBLE. Child care is insanely expensive. The colleges are over subscribed and over priced. Traffic is terrifyingly bad.

There are some REALLY great parts about California though. The area is super diverse population wise so you can meet cool people. State parks are awesome. Beaches are great. Skiing and mountain biking are great. Tons of excellent national parks. Cheap but amazing wine. Extremely good food available all over the place from almost every country on earth. Great entertainment options. Concerts, music festivals, outdoor screenings, and musicals abound.

Edit: Just checked again and the area I was looking at originally is now around $600,000 to $700,000 for a 3BR 2BA. Yeesh!

100% Germany. Quality of life is an actual focus of society here. You'll have more vacation days, more safety for your family and a more worry-free life. There's plenty of tech companies in Germany where English is the primary language. And if both of you work, you'll be very, very well off financially.

Germany, without a doubt. California is going to get pretty ugly when the water runs out, which is already happening.

Move to Germany. First consider that almost all of Germany is close by. Germany is smaller than the state of California. The support you get from her parents will far out weigh any career benefits.

The value of having grandparents nearby who want to help cannot be overstated, especially once you have two kids. My wife's parents live 20 minutes away, and we're building a house for my parents next door.

Do what is best for your family. Your career is now secondary.

Germany will really struggle with an aging population in the next 10 years. Do you want you and your children to foot the bill? The heavy car culture in California is off-putting though.

I've lived both places, currently in Germany. Pay is higher in CA but so is COL. QOL in Germany is night and day better than CA. I recommend Germany for sure.

You have the great opportunity to move to Germany and enjoy their great benefits... Or are you planning to run away from the doctor' bills ??

How can you even compare Europe to US in software engineering context?

Europe on average has miserable salaries and crazy taxes.

I moved from west coast US to Germany last year and I'm very happy here. Reach out if you want to chat.

You could live in Germany and get a Swiss G permit for cross border working.

Germany.

I ain't even gonna explain it.

> I work as a senior eng at a large tech company and based on levels.fyi, it looks like my SF colleagues make somewhere between 2 and 4 times what I do. I know money isn't everything, but I've experienced the pain and stress that not having enough causes.

There's a bit of a tilt so far towards Germany in this thread. Let me offer a counterpoint: you can go for a high salary in CA until your kids start at school, and then move to Germany. I'm estimating that you can net somewhere between $100k - $250k per year more in CA (partially depending how frugal you decide to live and you actual options, but you should really do the math yourself). Accumulating over 5 years (around when your kids start with primary school), you that can net you a fully paid off house in Bavaria.

German here living in CA.

My take is as follows (YMMV):

- We'll live and work in CA until scrappy financial independence is possible in Germany (ballpark ~3-3.5M net worth).

- Once we could comfortably retire in Germany, we'll decide whether to move back there or keep working just to stay in CA (due to cost of living FIRE in CA seems out of reach)

- In some sense starting out in CA maintains more optionality (it'll be easier to move from CA to Germany than vice versa)

Advantages of CA:

- The weather

- Monthly savings (pay - expenses; much higher than Germany if you avoid lifestyle creep)

- Career opportunities (lots of interesting work)

- Outdoors (subjective)

- Food

- If your kids grow up in LA or SF, I'd say there's a pretty good chance they'll stick around close by when they grow up

- Vibe ~ more optimism about the future and the role technology can play

- The earlier you move and buy a house, the earlier you can lock in your real estate taxes (Proposition 14 [2] renders CA hostile to those that 'come later'). Admittedly, it's already pretty late in the game.

Disadvantages of CA:

- Housing prices are 1M+ (although the market seems to be changing now that interest rates are going up [1])

- Homelessness

- Getting into good public schools needs a lot of planning (including buying in pricey neighborhoods)

- Related: kids in elite schools / social circles seem to be under a lot of pressure to perform from day 1 (IMHO a consequence of the winner takes all economy)

- Life is work centric

- Earthquakes

- Air quality (traffic and wildfires)

Advantages of Germany:

- Great public schools & ~free childcare

- Pretty safe environment (although debatable in some cities like Berlin)

- Generally stable, good job security etc

- Once you build real relationships with people, you may find friends for life

- Clean air and water in most places

Disadvantages of Germany:

- House prices per median income are pretty high. It's particularly crazy expensive in cities if you want a single family home due to super low interest rates (SFH can cost 1M+ despite median salaries being much lower than CA)

- Might be less "accepting" of foreigners (I live in CA and never feel bad about speaking with an accent as most people I work with do as well)

- Germans start work and school at ridiculously early hours (I still recall walking to school in the dark every day in winter)

- Rapidly aging population (although some is offset by immigration)

[1] https://www.calculatedriskblog.com/2022/06/1st-look-at-local...

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1978_California_Proposition_13

I did not recently consider moving to the US but I can relate my story about having moved from the Netherlands to Germany last year. My wife and I made the move from Amsterdam to Berlin. Both of us are working full-time and we have a daughter in kindergarten. We were both born and raised in different parts of Bavaria with our parents still living there. Being closer to family is also a recurrent topic for the same reasons you mention. To some extent this matches one of your possible scenarios quite closely.

From my perspective I can list a few things to consider in random order:

There are are definitely good opportunities for tech jobs in some regions of Bavaria. This is especially true for the metropolitan areas in and around Munich, Nuremberg, etc. You probably know better about the market in the exact region you are considering to move to. Some of the rural areas unfortunately don't have many jobs though. The pay is also lower in rural areas — on the bright side: so are the costs of living.

Working remotely is a way to earn more and you say that you are considering remote work already. When applying to remote positions the the pay which you can expect from a German employer might not matter so much. You could potentially also apply to remote positions elsewhere, e.g. even in the US (some companies don't have strict timezone requirements). I personally stayed with my Dutch employer through a payrolling service.

In any case, when living in Germany you will need to pay income tax and social security payments in Germany. Consequently, net salary is lower in Germany compared to the Netherlands (for the exact same gross income in my case). Especially health insurance costs significantly more. In turn, you also get more government benefits.

One of these benefits is the "Elterngeld" which seems to be relevant for you and you probably know of. This parental allowance is paid for up to 14 months during parental leave for one or both parents. The amount is based on your net income during the 12 month prior to the birth of the child. Income in other EU countries also counts AFAIK. You receive about 2/3 of your previous net income. It is capped at 1800 EUR/month and you don't receive any if your net income is higher than a certain limit (which I vaguely remember to be 250k/annual net per parent).

Since you are considering moving to rural Bavaria: Mind that childcare is far less pervasive than in the Netherlands. Creches might not exist close to you and daycare usually has shorter hours than the ones in the Netherlands. Even in primary school you might need to find someone to take care of your children in the afternoon. This seems to be possible in your case with family potentially being close by.

Regarding your fear of not building enough wealth: There is definitely more state mandated welfare in Germany than in California. That includes pension. The general notion however is that it is still required to build up your own funds for retirement. Many people do so by buying a house or investing in ETFs, etc. Buying real estate for a family of four in small towns and villages should be doable on a tech salary. In cities you will likely need to make compromises.

One thing to also keep in mind: broadband internet is not pervasive in rural Bavaria. In most cases it is good enough and many communities also have proper fiber deployed but I know plenty of people who struggle to get acceptable internet access — not great when working remotely.

Germany and the Netherlands have a treaty to avoid double taxation when you move between the countries. A tax adviser is helpful in this scenario. I cannot tell you much about my experience yet because I am only in the process of filing taxes for the year of our move.

Your question about quality of life can only be answered subjectively. I personally value the safety net that is the German welfare state. For instance I never in my life worried that I would get bankrupted by a medical bill. The same is true for job safety: yes, it is possible to fire employees and temporary contracts are a thing to some extent. However, employment contracts are regulated and I feel job security is balanced more in favor of the employee than in the US. Also the parental allowance which I mentioned above is great for families.

Quality of life depends on your immediate surroundings as well. For instance, with the Covid pandemic I've found it relatively hard to meet people in Berlin. This affected quality of my life. In a small village you might struggle meeting like-minded people.

Germany

Homeschooling is illegal in Germany and its harder to avoid covid vaccines (idk if these items matter to you)

The internet is not an unbiased sample, as Americans with personal grievances flock to threads like these to air their own frustrations.

Also: should I have coffee or tea breakfast? Which one is better?