I took some odd jobs to keep the lights on and I swallowed my pride and borrowed rent money from friends on two occasions. It was not fun at all. After 5 years of employment in tech I've clawed my way out from under it, but it really wasn't easy. But it was worth it.
You probably have some resources, maybe friends or family, that pride and self-image hinder you in tapping. Go ahead and tap them, if you are fortunate enough to have those people in your life this is the time they can be there for you. Your life isn't meaningless, it's just tough at the moment. This will pass.
Don't forget that your experiences place you head and shoulders above similar candidates who haven't taken those risks and who haven't had the breadth of experience you have. Bring that to your interviews and solicitations for one-off work, hold your head high.
Reach out to my profile email if you want to talk about it further.
First: in both cases things got better sooner than I had expected; within a few years things were good... once I had dusted myself off and applied myself to the next chapter of life, I was able to take steps, find ways to dig out, and find hope and passion again in my pursuits.
Second: I, like you, had a lot to offer the world, my profession, and my family and friends; I look back and can see these things. Please, hang in there, and please, don’t let the downturns extinguish your light. Whether you know it or not now, many people will need you around, and in the end, even more will be better off for your influence.
Around 6 years ago, I hit a breaking point of stress and developed chronic fatigue syndrome while working for a tech company. I haven't yet recovered from it and I've been out of the industry for almost 3 years now since the fatigue and brain fog have made it impossible to think clearly for any sustained period. I have no idea yet if I'll be able to turn my life around, let alone my career.
I say all of that not to be pitied but rather because, if there was just one thing I could impress upon people, it would be that having a well-functioning brain is an extraordinary privilege that is very much taken for granted, until it's lost. Do the best you can to take care of yours and use it to engineer your way out of your situation.
Some advice I can offer from how I frame things: think of yourself as an underdog and rise to the challenge of designing an epic comeback starting from scratch. Many people feel locked into a charted course once they get to a certain point in their lives and are very often dissatisfied with it. You, by contrast, get to step back and take stock of what you want out of the rest of your life. You can choose to craft the best possible story from here, but, critically, you must first frame your circumstances appropriately: you're the underdog who's going to fight your way back, not the miserable wretch who spirals into despair.
As for "burden while looking for a job", that is something you are carrying with you and perhaps into your interviews. You need to put your true, best face forward, and you will settle this with time.
In the meantime, to cover debt, any income helps. You might find waiting tables or something on weekends easily adds $2-3k a month to your income.
Pretty dismal. However I learned some things from the startup that I didn't appreciate at the time. One was grit, another was being able to strategize about a variety of business problems, another was humility, and I also honed my quick learning skills.
These ended up, over a few years, landing me a plum startup job, a FAANG job, and a funded retirement.
The big picture is always out of sight. If you keep learning and stay humble but stubborn (don't give up) it will work out reasonably well. I still think I stayed to long on my startup adventure but I am not stressing about it.
For folks in the US: when you do start something, make sure you incorporate and keep any debt in the corporation (obviously this isn’t meaningfully possible for anything you borrow from F&F). Then if the business ends it goes bankrupt and you do not. Among other things this won’t affect your credit or ability to visit countries that bar people who have ever been bankrupt.
I’m not sure this is really possible in Europe — I believe bank loans require a personal guarantee.
First steps are to calculate your debt service amount (this is the total number of principal + interest payments you need to make in the coming 1..n periods, say 1 year). I am talking minimum payments only, so on a ~$30K credit card balance they may be as small as say $500 monthly. Second, start thinking about bringing in enough income.
Now, is this the type of advice you need or were you asking more broadly?
So basically, you need to either 1) come from wealth, 2) have big wins in your history, or 3) tap out your life savings and the goodwill of friends and relatives
With time, you'll get the job and you'll tackle the debt. A series of small steps go a long way.
The requirements sometimes are so specific that I don't understand why those companies don't just go make direct offers to the people that work in marketing at the companies they're trying to emulate.
Like: "must have worked in fintech, in the role X, for X years, with XX growth"... just go scout them.
Of course one still sends an submits an application, but 90% of the times companies don't bother to reply with a "no thx".
I have no idea how to survive it while under debt, but understand that what you're feeling will go away.
Take vitamins B complex, C and D. Ashwaghanda to reduce stress levels (cortisol). Do brain training (look for apps) to get your cognitive skills going, stress can blunt them (mental math is good).
The grief/toll will take time to go away. Mine has still not gone away but it gets better as time passes. Suggest that you seek help for this with a professional therapist. Meet new people and have different experiences. That helps a lot.
Wishing the best for you. You got this.
my timezone is gmt+7
pls guys no downvotes just venting here while reading the thread for learning.
Let's take work and debt and money and all that out of the equation for a moment. What do you really want to do? Like, not an activity or a job... how do you want to see your life being led by you? Who do you want in your life? What do you want from the neighborhood you live in? What do you want from the house that you live in?
Get to the brass tacks with this. Really understand the details. Try to envision what you want to do and how you want to live. Ignore the doubts and the voice that says, "No way, never'll happen." Figure out what the road looks like to get there, then start shaping your life to fit that road.
As you look for a new job, ask yourself how that job will get you closer to your ideals. Will it relocate you? Will it give you the time for the things you want to do? Will it expose you to people who you want to be part of your journey? You may realize that, first, money isn't really as important as you think, then realize that you may be happier at a smaller company, or in a different industry, or at a bigger company, or... whatever. It brings things into focus.
Why did you do the startup thing? What was your goal? Was it something fuzzy like, "Get rich"? Was it something startuppy like "Change the way people travel"? Was it personal, that you wanted to build a name for yourself and impress people? Was it because of the freedom it offered in terms of how you spend your time and energy?
Be honest with yourself as you answer questions like these. Maybe a startup-style thing isn't the way to go for you - maybe do something like a lifestyle business (i.e. bootstrapped, organic growth, etc.) or consulting. As you dig into these answers, you may decide tech isn't even what you want to really be doing - maybe you want to start a food co-op in your town, or maybe you want to spend less time working and more time just being. Again, start changing your life choice by choice to begin to fit the ideal in your head.
And, if you get there and the ideal ain't so ideal... start it again. And again. And again. It's all an adventure, and you should try to enjoy the ride as much as possible. Don't beat yourself up for your "failures". I promise you will recover if you just keep at it. I have seen so many lows at this point the floor and I are very good friends. I always bounce because I figure out a way to push through the depression and the anger and the self doubt and the loss of confidence and trust and find an answer and a path toward the answer.
You, too, will bounce.