Just posting this in case someone has advice they can share, or maybe this is just a cry for help and someone here can convince me to finally seek it.
I'm a 40-something year old engineer at an old and worn down tech company. I've worked at this company my entire adult life. The only thing that fuels me anymore is mentoring junior engineers. I like to believe I help them reach their maximum potential, but I've recently realized that all I do is impose myself, without letting them think for themselves. How do I get better at this?
Could there be a deeper issue here? Some people around me have been telling me that I really want a child of my own, but the thought scares me. I occasionally livestream myself coding and have been caught coddling viewers on more than one occasion. Sometimes I watch my streams a few weeks after they've happened and can't help but cringe.
I had a really bad accident a few years back and didn't bother getting mental help at the time, but I'm starting to regret it. Could this all be rooted in PTSD?
Any advice helps, cheers!
What accident?