HACKER Q&A
📣 bluesroo

How can I best assist my wife with a career transition?


Some background first: I've been a software engineer for ~7 years now. I have a decently paying job, but we're definitely in the first base stretch of home ownership and have 2 children (~1 and ~4 years old).

My wife has a strong academic background in pedagogy and LOVES teaching high school, but with the pandemic teaching has really affected her relationship with our girls due to the sheer amount of work being dumped on her. Teacher and admin attrition at her school was suffering terribly and it was leading to her being forced to pick either continuing to work as a teacher and sacrifice all of her time with our kids or figure something else out. I was in awe of my wife's capacity for work and the number of plates she can keep spinning while still getting the highest teacher evaluation scores at her school... Only to be met with blanks stares when asked for assistance or any sort of compensation or promotion for the amount of work she was picking up.

So she left.

After some reflection, we're both worried that teaching in general is at a place where most schools will be similar. On top of this, she originally went into teaching thinking that I'd take mornings (get the kids ready and to school/ daycare) and she'd get afternoons since schools are usually out ~3pm. But since the pandemic school hours continue to stretch, further cutting down on what little time she can be with our children.

So, back to my question: She's at a crossroads, but my professional experience doesn't overlap much and most of my connections are not adjacent to education or instructional design. I'm poking my network and friends and family, but it's pretty difficult to find anyone willing to give her a chance outside of education. My gut is that she needs to talk with people because throwing resumes into the void isn't going to work if you're switching industries and don't have the right key words.

(Edited this to make it more clear): So, I'm looking for advice regarding how to get through to people who are currently passing over her resumes and cover letters. I think if she could get someone to talk to her, they'd realize she's a strong candidate.

Also, if there are significant others who have been in my position, any advice on what I can do on my end to help would be appreciated.


  👤 jaylaal Accepted Answer ✓
Beyond her own professional search, I'd suggest you making more time to be with the kids and handle household crap that she might be dealing with. Take things off her plate so she can recover from her previous situation and reflect and act on her future path. In my experience, this will be hard for you because you'll necessarily do less at work and have less time to improve yourself professionally and personally outside of work, but the payoff in stress reduction for your wife should be worth it in short- and medium-terms until she gets re-settled.

Background: Software engineer for over 15 years; twin 3 year-olds at home; wife is a teacher.


👤 tehalex
I work at an ed-tech and most of our non-technical (sales, curriculum, customer success, etc) have a background in education. It's valuable for those roles to have education experience and it's a natural fit/transition for people looking to get out of education itself.

However, *many* teachers want to get out of education for the reasons you have described, so unfortunately here it's quite competitive even for relatively entry level positions on that side of the house.

It might be worth considering applying to education companies specifically, which would give some corporate/business experience that might enable a future pivot elsewhere for her.

My brother and sister-in law (not married to each other but just by coincidence) also both work for tutoring/supplemental private education companies, but more on the business/leadership/curriculum side of things. Because of the nature of the job, their hours are unusual (late starts, not Monday-Friday), but otherwise seems like a better environment than public education. I know both of their companies hire public school teachers for instructional roles, but I don't know what the advancement paths are like.


👤 tptacek
Serious question: what's your goal with this post? Are you hoping to get ideas and then references for places where someone with an academic background and a career in teaching might move to next, especially in the tech industry? Or are you more interested in the dynamics of spouses helping each other with their careers?

I ask because you might get more useful answers if you clarify a bit; the post is fine!


👤 jonbrennecke
My wife is in a similar situation. She's a middle-school teacher at a public school in a state that doesn't value public education. While she still loves teaching, her experience mirrors your's in regards to overwork, attrition, etc. For a job that should get off at 3pm, she routinely works all evening on grading, lesson planning and other admin tasks.

We also live in an area where teachers are poorly compensated relative to the cost of living. I'm well paid as a software engineer, which just makes her feel worse about the value of her career in teaching when she works longer hours than I do.

We've talked about her leaving teaching at the end of the school year with the plan to get her PhD so she can teach at a college level.


👤 pinewurst
May I suggest looking at corporate sales enablement/internal education? Usually super nice people, well paid, not especially stress-y (at least in any healthy organization).

👤 tptacek
Is she talking to people in the tech industry about roles, or in a bunch of different industries? People here probably have sharp feedback about how to cut through resume screens in tech, but less confidence about other fields.

In recruiting processes where the listed contact is an HR or recruiting person, cold resume/cover-letter pitches are tough, because the person you're talking to actually doesn't know enough to promote someone who doesn't fit the profile they've been told to look for. If that's what's happening, the common advice is to hunt down other people in the company and talk to them directly.


👤 conductr
Independent/private schools could be an option for her. The teachers at my son’s school seem to get the best of all things; work life balance, compensation, resources, etc. I feel they navigated Covid more thoughtfully than my local public schools as well and were very proactive towards planning for different scenarios that could play out. By most accounts I’ve heard the public schools displayed a low level of leadership and strategic planning to get ahead of even the most likely scenarios which caused nearly ever stakeholder a degree of stress. Probably teachers above all.

👤 mrtrombone
I run a software dev/ digital services company and my take on this is for her to consider retraining in a business analyst or change management role. - These require very complementary skills to teaching, - good fundamentals training (iiba, acmp) is usually private, short and no too expensive as opposed to going back to college - the market demand is massive (at least in NZ) These kind of roles fly under the radar in startup world but it's a huge, well paying field in enterprise, local govt etc

👤 pavel_lishin
I'm sorry if I'm just having a hard time understanding - what specifically is your wife looking for? It looks like she's not looking to remain a teacher, but I don't think I understand what types of jobs she's applying for.

Regardless, I work for TeachersPayTeachers, and a lot of my colleagues are former teachers themselves; I'd recommend taking a look there if she's not looking to remain a teacher, and you're welcome to contact me with any questions


👤 Thorentis
My wife quit her teaching job once we had kids and hasn't looked back. Looking after children is a full time job in and of itself. Just because you aren't being paid by an employer doesn't mean you aren't doing something valuable. In fact, you could argue that the job of raising children is even more valuable. Sadly this option seems entirely over looked in these types of discussions.

👤 francisofascii
Kids are 1 and 4. That is tough, but they won't be that young forever. Can she scale back to working as an occasional sub for a few years, and then go back into full time teaching down the road when the kids are much older? Sounds like she loves teaching. Even in a high COL area that should be doable for a few years possibly? Unless you are in the bay area.

👤 mmcgaha
Have you considered that she wants to spend most of her time with the children rather than working? Maybe she does not know how to say it to you or herself but she could be looking for an excuse to move into the full time role of a mother. I would find a gentle way to introduce the option to her and even offer encouragement to see if she bites at it.

👤 alistairSH
What area are you in? Local to me (DC metro), I know about a half-dozen former teachers who transitioned into corporate L&D/instruction/etc (all prior to COVID, so maybe the market has changed). Most of them had Masters degrees in education. Can't tell you what they did to get interviews, but it was definitely a viable career path in the 2010s.

Edit - my wife made a massive career change about a decade ago. But, different industry and background. No college, but worked to director-level at her then-employer. She knew she wanted to change, so got them to pay for her MS degree, worked the required time after, and found another job.

My part was just being extra helpful with our son - more of the driving to sports and things like that. Helping more around the kitchen. And also serving as editor while she working on the MS - it was an adjustment doing academic writing after many years of corporate jargon.


👤 fhood
If money isn't important, finding a good private school might provide a much more pleasant alternative. It may not be the most morally satisfying thing to transfer a good teacher from public to private education, but I went to public elementary and highschool and a private middle school and the contrast is shocking. Small class sizes, vastly better behaved kids, and a social hierarchy dictated in part by academic success, as well as much nicer school supplies and transportation, largely funded through donations from the wealthier families.

👤 1auralynn
Go into curriculum development. Work for Wiley or Pearson or someone like that.

Edit: As far as how to break into curriculum development, she should highlight any of her work adapting or implementing cutting-edge educational content. Or play up her management skills if she was on any committees or pushed things through at her school. Maybe take up freelance writing or editing? Start a blog and accumulate enough high quality content there to have something to point to


👤 neoeno
Software engineering education is a good job market right now and (I believe) has better pay and working conditions than public sector teaching. If she’s up for that path, she could learn some technical skills and then teach them.

I’m probably the wrong country (UK) to help directly but I lead a team of technical educators and happy to have a chat about the path of useful. Email in bio.


👤 jwilber
Education design is a decent area she can potentially pursue from a non-tech skills standpoint (interviews probably contingent on a masters degree). Plenty of tech companies hiring in that area.

For a complete career switch, recruiters are also in very high-demand at the moment.


👤 j7ake
Since your professional experience does not overlap with hers, the good way to help would be to spend more time at home taking care of the kids and doing housework/cooking so she can devote more of her time to job search and build missing skills.

👤 twunde
Many colleges/universities have career offices that offer services for alumni switching careers. It's at least worth reaching out and seeing if they can help set up informational interviews if nothing else. If your wife went to grad school for her educational license, it's also worth reaching out to them as well. Other avenues to explore are to talk to members of your church/synagogue/whatever if you belong to one, and/or talk to parents of former students.

Other ideas: - Potentially sell curriculums, etc on teacherspayteachers or alternatives - Apply for jobs with education-industry companies like Scholastic, ed-tech companies

Best of luck!


👤 xwdv
Why not just let her be a stay at home mom and put this whole career thing to rest?

You can afford it, and having a parent that can be around 24/7 with the kids is immensely valuable.

A teaching career isn’t going to contribute much to your family unit.


👤 sethammons
Former high school teacher turned developer back in 2011. I had a small portfolio of work I had done (some for free and some charged). My resume dropped non-relevant work (so long to the teaching, construction, financial planning, insurance, and graphic design entries). I had some light project work at the end. A recruiter sent me to a few places and I managed to get through the interview at one. Doubled my teaching salary and never looked back.

My spouse was supportive of the extra time I had to put in to studying concepts and building toy things.


👤 pythonic_hell
Have you considered moving to a country that values education? You wife will probably see a pay raise, strong union rights and better work life balance.

Some countries that come to mind would be the Netherlands, Germany, the nordics.

An added bonus to this is that your family will be able to benefit from the strong family support programs that these countries offer - tax breaks, grants, friendly city planning which gives children more independence.


👤 mlac
If I was in your shoes, here’s what I’d do:

1) Set a timeline for her to take time off with the kids. Summer would be perfect, and she can start applying in the fall. She’s probably burnt out and needs the time off more than either of you know.

2) If you’re not already, develop a written plan to get completely out of debt except for your mortgage. This will lower your monthly fixed costs as much as possible and allow for flexibility.

3) She should be lightly looking and networking (but not stressing) for opportunities over the summer. Bump that information against the review of finances and you can determine whether or not she needs to (or wants to) go back to work or stay home with the kids. Recognize that only 1 income adds stress to your life, because if you lose your job then it gets real, really quickly.

4) Longer term, she can look at online training opportunities or local colleges if she wants to switch careers and feels a degree would help her transition.

This may lead to a reduction in lifestyle, but in a lot of cases (not necessarily yours) lifestyle inflation may have eaten up all of her salary anyway. Cut back on eating out, nicer cars, etc, and you will have more time with the family while the kids are young. The reality may be that she can’t take a break right now due to your financial situation. Then I’d spend the next couple of months figuring out what to cut, realizing that time with family is likely more rewarding than a slightly bigger house, BMW over a Subaru, and more toys.

TL;DR: Take a break. Get your finances in order. Figure out your next steps without pressure.


👤 dcdc123
A lot of non-developers at Ed tech companies are/were teachers. Not sure if that is helpful.

👤 rahimnathwani
Does she want to continue with education/learning, or do something else entirely?

If she wants to continue in education, a good next step might be a Customer Success role for a company whose customers are schools/districts, e.g. edtech and curriculum companies.



👤 jeffwask
I have a friend who bootcamped her way from teacher to software engineer.

👤 jvalencia
Look at career opportunities at bloomboard.com