What is this mental technique called?

Question

I read about this in a kind of new-agey self-help book more than 10 years ago and I don't remember the author or the book title. I'm looking for the source. It's something like this:1. Something happens to you - interaction with a person, some mundane or significant event, whatever it is.2. You have your "first response" to it - that's the first thought that comes to you after the event, maybe it's your first reaction when you read a comment online, or when a colleague does something you don't like etc.3. You discard your first response and think "if that's not my response, then what is". A second possible response comes up in your head. You get rid of that one too.4. Repeat steps 2 and 3 for a while - possible ways to respond occur to you and you discard them.The general idea was that the later responses are more mature, more compassionate, more useful etc. and you're systematically working your way to them.Any idea where this is from?

meristohm · Accepted Answer

There's a book by Resmaa Menakem that includes something like this. He wrote My Grandmother's Hands & Rock the Boat. Acronym SNAPS: stop; notice; accept; process (?); shake-it-off (and keep going).
Blindboy on his podcast talks about this as well. His mental-health specific episodes are particularly valuable, covering Transactional Analysis, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, and ways to outgrow anxiety, among other topics.
A counselor advised something like the steps you wrote when I struggling with processing work emails: break the task into smaller and smaller steps until you can do one step, then check in with what the body is feeling and opt to either continue or stop and take a long, slow breath (ideally 5-6 seconds in and 5-6 seconds out, per Breath by James Nestor) or several or whatever helps, then keep going.

MrGuts · Answer

Sounds like Stoicism. Read the "Enchiridion" http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.htmlA lot of ancient knowledge got recorded in the past, but they used papyrus or stone tablets. They didn't quite manage to get it published electronically. So every few years we modern people wonder if Google or Hacker News can tell us how to be happy and sane.

PaulHoule · Answer

Hypnotist David Snyder says it is (one level) the other way around.The first answer you get from the unconscious and it is right.After that you start making up lies to be socially acceptable.

legrande · Answer

Well it's slightly related, but there is 'broken telephone' which is a game where the initial message becomes very mangled the more people that repeat the message to each other. Lookup 'chinese whispers' too.Maybe this is like a reverse broken telephone where the end message becomes better than the initial input?

unrestifarian · Answer

Yep, sounds like basic mindfulness. In meditation 101, you sit calmly and observe your thoughts, as if an unbiased bystander. You might imagine putting post-it notes on your thoughts. 'Thinking of eating', 'Worried about work' - then, later, you might dive into questions about the labels themselves: Are they biased, are they how I truly feel? why do i feel that way? am I reacting from emotion? what do my thoughts and their labels say about me and my mental state? etc. . .ideally, this process brings mental clarity.

kgwxd · Answer

Self-control and emotional maturity. I have to use it to keep from falling for other fantastical labels given to it in order to sell classes and books.

zonetti · Answer

It also relates to stoicism, more specifically the practice of becoming aware of your irrational reactions and impressions.

actually_a_dog · Answer

I'm not sure if it links directly to dialectical behavior therapy, but it sounds an awful lot like a combination of an emotional regulation technique with an interpersonal effectiveness technique, plus a side of mindfulness.

phenkdo · Answer

I think you are referring to Eckhart Tolle's mindfulness. I have one of his quotes that I have clipped into my notes as:
“What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. Who am I then? The one who sees that.” -Eckhart Tolle
HTH.

ZYinMD · Answer

I'd call it "the best way to improve your Hearthstone ranking".

dataf3l · Answer

I think this was mentioned in the book thinking fast and thinking slow by daniel k

arnold_palmur · Answer

Thinking Fast and Slow

whalesalad · Answer

I think of this as meta cognition.

newacc9 · Answer

reframing

jessermeyer · Answer

This is simple mindfulness. Being self-aware of your own internal processes is the first step along a very long path of self-realization.