What do you do to recharge after a day of work?

If, aside from tiredness, you are physically able to work out, then you must do that first. It sounds like you’re off to a good start, plus the shower to “mark the boundary” is a good idea. Yes, all suggestions are YMMV, but personally I’ve found it’s just something you have to confront and accept as you get older (I’m 39): you’re going to either hurt from working out or hurt from not working out, so might as well do the former. And specifically for the reason you’re getting at: general energy levels. While you’re still going to feel sore and tired from working out, your mind will be a little sharper and net-net you’ll have more physical energy & executive function as well.

Diet is probably also a big factor but I’ll let others (likely) expand on the other two standard prongs of this genre of advice (diet & sleep).

>I'm only able to consume easy to digest content in this state.

I have fallen into this cycle many times, my advice for if you are feeling tired is to give up that sort of content for a few weeks. In the time when you would [watch tv, game, browse reddit] just sit on the patio and watch the clouds go by (maybe with a single beer or glass of wine if you are so inclined) and let your mind wonder. It can be excruciating at first as you overcome your addition to mindless content, but after you get over that you can finally let your thoughts be free and actually relax. As you get into the rythm then you can start to shift to more productive activities like going for a walk or cooking or blogging or whatever, but the first step is to break the addiction to mindless content.

Kids.

That's it, really, and I love it. Nothing makes me snap out of it like being assigned a role from Paw Patrol by my two year old, and going off on some rescue mission. It's pure bliss.

Around a year ago, just before turning 40, I started a 5 day a week body weight / calisthenics-type exercise routine, and in December I started learning how to skateboard (mostly transition / ramps, not flip tricks).

Skateboarding isn't without fairly regular minor (so far anyway) injuries, but both have been really great ways to disconnect after work.

Skateboarding, especially, is one of the more humbling endeavors I've taken on. It's hard, there's no faking it, and work is the last thing on my mind while I'm doing it.

Exercising is great too but, sometimes, I still find myself glancing at work stuff on my smart watch or phone in between exercises.

Good luck finding your "thing(s)"!

When I had a train commute in the before-times, the one thing I really leaned into was the train ride home. It was about 30 minutes. I used that time in a variety of ways - reading, podcasts, napping, meditating, drinking-a-beer. I let my mood dictate, I intentionally didn't over plan it. Just no work. This naturally let me slide into the non-work/dad/husband version of myself. More often than not, this recharged me, and I'd be in a good place when I walked into my home.

I admit to struggling with this with the pandemic and full WFH. I'd find myself working early and late, answering emails after hours that I really didn't need to, etc.

My solution? I bought a super cheap treadmill for my office, with a stand for my laptop. I don't really run on it. I get on it in the morning and walk for 30 to get my day started, 30 at the end to close it down. I think I still do a little too much work during this time, but it's generally prep for the day, pruning my todo list, checking out tomorrow's calendar, and so on. It's not the same as the train, but it's a lot better than having no boundaries.

Shower. I work from home, so the ten or fifteen minutes of shower time lets me relax my focus enough to settle into family time. Sometimes I bring a cocktail in there with me.

Get blood work.

Check your testosterone, fasting glucose, insulin, estradiol, cortisol, and CRP.

If any of these are out of reference range, or close to the boundaries thereof, fix them.

If you're fat, lose weight.

Chronic lethargy usually has physiological reasons, the two most common ones being insulin resistance and low testosterone. Get them checked.

Go for a walk. Meet up with friends. Have a date night with the SO. Work out. Have a drink (this one not every night though).

You basically just have to force yourself to do things. Also, don't work too hard. Don't care too much about work. It's easy to get stressed out and kill yourself working but that doesn't help anyone because you can't do it your whole life. Force yourself to pace your work and have work-life balance.

I typically play video games for a couple of hours, hang out with my partner, and then read in bed.

But the thing that helps me the most is looking critically at my job and figuring out whether that's the best thing for me. I'm an introvert, and I find training groups of people really draining. Being engaging with 30-50 people is really taxing on me. So I do it less now, and thus find myself having to do less recharging on a daily basis.

It may be that you’re working so hard at work that you’re exhausting yourself for the time you have outside of work. Especially if you’re using caffeine at work to push through when a caffeine free human would’ve been unable to continue.

I agree with most of the suggestions. Apart from doing something physical after work (even the commute), I try to leave a gap of 2-3 hours relaxing,before I pick up mental activities again. I.e. the interval between 16 and 19 I use to unwind, before engaging with something taxing again. Ive been mentally alert from 8 to 16, so my mind does not like if I continue straight into an engaging hobby after work. When I was younger, 20 years ago, I could get away with it, but now at 50, i feel the punishment rather quickly when i violate it. Another factor I struggle with but recognise, is not to engage too much after 2030 or so. I sometimes do so, but I invariably feel like I have been working overtime,by the next morning (which is what it is, in effect). Basically, its about learning to recognise and be aware of your energy budget - before 30, it doesnt exist, but gradually it becomes a very visible thing, when you fail to manage it. Your alcohol consumption, your late night tv or gaming, your lack of exercise, they all demand payment from you, whether you are aware of them or not :-/

Not working too hard and certainly not being exhausted by work at the end of the day everyday, through the year. That’s what I do. It seems like your job isn’t the right one for you. I’d suggest changing that to something less demanding. You only get 24 hours a day and a specific range of energy expenditure (physical, mental and emotional) to play with. Trying to do a lot with life and “work/life balance” doesn’t work. Something’s gotta give.

Once you find a different job, you could focus on cultivating and nurturing (note the words used) a routine before work, during work, and after work. If there aren’t clear boundaries, the cycle of being exhausted will continue. The routine could be showers, cooking, cycling, working out at home, running, yoga, meditation or activities you do with others or anything else.

I know I speak from different circumstances, and it may not be possible for you to change your job. If that’s true, then you need to reconcile yourself to this life. Don’t get swayed away by pretty pictures of people who “have it all”. It’s all a mirage that hides the ugly parts in public.

Ahhh these threads. Nothing brings hacker news together like giving strangers free advice on their health and well-being

> I want to be able to enjoy my evenings after work

Look around; are there little people identifiable as "children"?

If so, that's almost certainly it; get rid of the things and you will see a huge difference in the evenings.

Play videogames.

I struggle a little, because anything too "braindead" won't allow me to wind down, so sport is not good, my brain stays focused on the work stuff. Playing with kids has a similar problem. I love them, but sometimes it's too "easy" for me and so my brain doesn't relax.

Talking to my wife works too, but we need an entertaining topic. We spend 24 hours today together, so we run out of topic at times, for a few days, so backup solutions are needed. Videogames, kids, homes, life, work are all good topics though.

I've started going out on an ebike. Not too much effort but if I want to I can turn the motor off for a while for the exercise. The sense of speed with the wind cooling you as you pedal is a real pleasure. Half an hour does the trick for me.

Otherwise.. preparing food is a good way to mark the end of the working day.

It isn't perfect though - I suffer from the same thing. I'm less engaged with my own interests than I used to be.

Procrastination. Just do less work today to get more free time for relaxation. Obviously depends on urgency of your work.

Is it physical energy or will/motivation?

If energy, then I'd question your sleep, diet, job stress level, then fitness level (in that order).

If not, then I'd question your device addiction/attention span degredation and then perceived value of alternate activities (i.e. do you REALLY want to read? Or just want to want to read?).

For me the biggest change was to switch to working part time. I now work six hours a day instead of eight and don’t get mentally exhausted.

I have energy to work on my own projects or do whatever with the two free hours.

I don’t ever want to go back to full time, it’s so exhausting.

I have a hammock set up in a grove of trees in my back yard.

After a tough day, I just like to go out there and lay in it for 30-45 mins, with no phone and no distractions. Just the wind rustling through the trees and the dog laying on the ground next to me.

I started boxing few months ago. 4 times a week 8am in the morning for one hour. I also try to go to the gym 3 times a week at 8pm in the evening. I have never felt so energetic. I go to bed at around 10:30 everyday. Also in the weekend. With maybe the exception of a party night twice a month or so. I try to eat healthy, but I still have my moments with soda and crisps. 2 years ago I often went to bed at 3-4am. I was always tired and I looked like shit. I am happy now. 40 years old btw

Lifting weights.

My energy levels decrease as the day goes on, so I always do my workouts and best work early in the day. By evening I'm usually very burnt out. I like to vape CBD flowers, do gentle yoga, maybe take a short walk around the neighborhood, and watch YouTube videos. Then a short meditation session and bed.

I don't have kids so my few hours after work are really just for me.

as some have already mentioned, I usually like to spend time cooking. Like you, I was also feeling low energy. I spent most of my evenings laying on the sofa and watching stupid things on Netflix.

Working from home forces me to cook all my meals. Since I'm usually too busy to do it during lunch time, I was forced to cook them at the evenings. What I realized was that cooking and doing dishes took around 1 hour of my evening. More importantly than that, it became of the few moments of my day where I'm not using any phone/screens/tech.

That, by itself, gives me an extra charge. It's really liberating to let your mind disconnect from work and focus on something completely different.

Regarding workouts, I'm a morning person type. I hit the gym and swim 5x week during the mornings. But I can't stress enough how important doing something is. For me, skipping my exercise routine is the difference of a great and a shitty day.

Being someone that lives un Buenos Aires city, we Have a very strong culture of coffee shops.

The best, for me, is to slow down my brain half hour reading a book while having a coffee and a toasted bread ham a cheese sandwich in a coffee shop.

Scrolled through the page only to see if someone already mentioned cooking.

You have to cook for at least 3-4 people to make it worth the regular effort.

I cook 2-3 course meals at least 5 times a week.

drink wine, read, and exercise. not necessary in that order.

Drinking and playing Kerbal Space Program, in that order.

Going out with a friend for a beer/coffee. Putting on some music. Play Hearthstone.

Journaling and drawing with a nice cold beer.

As a first time father of a 2 year old, all I have to say is….you guys recharge?