How can I start thinking optimistically?

According to a recent BBC radio programme on this topic, 80% of the population have a optimism bias, 10% doesn't have a systematic optimism bias one way or the another, and 10% have a pessimistic outlook.

Although I can't advise you how to think more optimistically, I can recommend this 30min podcast/programme on the topic. It is very informative and will give you lots of food for thought:

Which is better: Optimism or pessimism? https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct1prd

Some points discussed in the programme:

- The optimism outlook is a u-curve shape: high in young ages, drops in mid-life (the bottom of the U shape), then climbs again in older populations. How do we explain this? We don't know, but there are some theories e.g. mid-life can be a stressful time for many people.

- An optimism bias is good for people's mental health and physical health; optimists live longer.

- Pessimism can make some people work through lots of scenarios as a way of anticipating events and preparing for them i.e. stop those events from happening, manage the associated anxiety and take effective action. Also referred as 'defensive pessimism'.

- The Pessimist is less likely to be surprised or disappointed when things go wrong (because they anticipated different scenarios).

- There are nuances in different outlooks and it's too simplistic to say optimists do better.

- Are there cultural differences between countries? Can cultural norms particular to a country change our outlook? More research is needed, but the programme features a person's anecdotal experience from USA and Germany.

There is much more in the programme - it's a very stimulating listen.

My recommendation is always to make peace with death. Maturity is being ready to deal with forces that we have no control over. For a poor person, this lack of control may kick in a lot earlier in life. Those with wealthier backgrounds tend to be raised to think that they can solve any problem with enough will.

But deep down inside, you realize that you can't just willfully stop a pandemic or a war. This conflict between reality and culture can create cynicism. Something's not right.

Don't concern yourself too much with the end of the world - focus on your own inevitability of death. How would you imagine your own funeral? Who will care enough to pay for your burial? What happens after death? Do you return to energy and take another form or no form? Is there an afterlife, perhaps a greater power you must appease? What happens before death, when your mind and body are in a weakened state? The answer is often unique to you.

The idea isn't to have control over it or solutions, but to no longer refuse to deal with the inevitable. As you go, you'll realize there's a lot of other inevitables in this world.

Metamorphosis comes from death/destruction. You have to take apart your own identity. Do it gently, or you'll shock yourself and create a mental/emotional block. But tackle the hard questions one by one. You'll undergo several metamorphoses in your life - often an illness, death of a close parent, marriage, children, disasters. But you can begin one earlier with enough humility.

The ultimate goal isn't necessarily optimism. But sometimes courage forms from this - being in a state of constant fear, and yet being confident enough to act. As you move along, you'll unhide things that you were once afraid of. It's more calming going into a jungle having an idea where the tigers are, rather than fearing what you try not to see. And it's calming knowing that even if you avoid all the tigers, you'll get buried eventually. Don't let the tigers prevent you from living.

I'm in the middle of reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. It was a book recommendation from my engineering manager and oh wow, it is an incredible book!

One of the things that stood out the most out for me and IMHO relevant to your question is that happiness or optimism can't be forced or willed, one needs to find what to be happy about or optimistic about. It's just like laughter, you can't make somebody laugh, you need to give them something to laugh about, i.e. a joke.

He also talks about optimism, which comes from the Latin optimum, conveying the idea that optimism is not some kind of always-happy-go-lucky kind of attitude, but is more akin to an ownership attitude towards whatever the present circumstance and choosing the best for that situation, the optimum.

I also have a deeply seated cynicism together with the idea that humans are ultimately going to be their own undoing, but that doesn't really stops me from being optimistic about my plans, trying to make whatever influence I might have to make the world/workplace/home a better place, and I can rejoice together with those that I see doing the same, in whatever way.

I can't recommend "Man's Search for Meaning" enough, it has really helped me to articulate that hope/optimism I wanted to posses in the mist of... well, everything that is going on!

Best of luck on your search!

I'm sure I will be shot down in flames, but before the comments start: this is a question about an individual wanting to think optimistically; not the whole human race. I have suffered clinical depression. I am well educated, a 1st world citizen with a partner who loves me. I have accepted that whatever I personally want for the future of humankind, I am but one voice: there are millions if not billions who don't care, or just follow like sheep. My ability to influence them is drowned out by louder/prettier voices. What I can do is invest my energy in my family and friends. It will not save the world, but it will (hopefully) make their lives richer. I do sincerely believe in the fundamental "goodness" of humans, but we have become so distant from out immediate real friends/family that we sometimes care way too much about Will Smith (or whatever the current meme is). We also trust too much: we trust the media (whether mainstream or alternative); we trust the example given to us by our "heroes" (often media species). Critical thought is the fundamental "cure". Once we educate ourselves and all around us how to think critically and generate valid conclusions, I think everything else will follow. To the OP directly: be in the moment. You have a good life, about to welcome a new life into the world. Will you let her see the glory of life or the pain of your future worries? See the world as she will: with open eyes and an open heart; ready to accept love, questioning about everything. Be ready with honest answers. But be ready to say you do not know when applicable: then research together, grow together.

I stopped reading the news many years ago when I realized they all sell fear, rage and despair. It's the result of their optimization. I focus on finding interesting projects to work on, when I go to sleep I visualize solutions for these and that allows me to sleep quickly, and wake up willing to do something great the next day.

Why do you think our greatest art, our biggest discoveries, and our most just societies aren't still ahead of us?

Climate change? Nuclear war?

It's hard to account for my output sentiment because it's just the coalesced end product of myriad input over time which you don't record or keep around, but I feel like a sober analysis of these problems doesn't indicate looming human extinction or even "very bleak" times in the 1st world. Alarmism is useful since it's the only way to spark action, but there's bigger worries, like another, worse pandemic (but even that likely won't mean "very bleak" times, depending on your situation) or your child having some congenital issue (which can make things "very bleak" locally even if things are very good globally).

This is a good book with lot of compelling arguments.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rational_Optimist

The baby will ensure you are both happy and that you lack time to ponder along these lines

There are lots of things to worry about. There are lots of promising possibilities.

Here is a talk from Hans Rosling talking about long term global economic and poverty trends that gives an optimistic outlook. 4min.

https://youtu.be/jbkSRLYSojo

And while that is promising, the question for me comes down to happiness which is different than prosperity. I'm just starting to think more about that.

"and deeply believe the future will be truly bleak"

There has likely never been a period in human history where people en masse have felt otherwise. That said here's a three step program that shifted me away from depression/pessimism towards ambivalence with a hint of optimism:

1) Mild well-calibrated paranoia. You should spend sometime contemplating preventative measures against reasonable threats.

2) Buy insurance when applicable.

3) Know that whatever your 10-top doomsday list consists of it's likely none of it will happen in your lifetime or devastate your life. It's usually something else in your (our collective) blindspot. Because of that 20 years from now your child's top 10 list will likely be different and we'll have yet another generation of hand-wringers (I was no better).

"there is no escape from climate change."

I live less than 100 meters from the Pacific Ocean. What is more likely ? that sea-level rise will take my home or that I lose my home in a lawsuit, tsunami, earthquake, etc. The answer is "who cares (on a personal level) I have umbrella insurance".

"there is no escape from climate change."

Increase tree population and decrease human population ? The latter half may already be happening. We have a diverse food supply in the U.S. and we have desalination technology so we should be able to escape famine at least. You should qualify "escape". People live in Alaska and Phoenix despite a climate where life expectancy under direct exposure is measured in hours at times. Last I checked the people there can escape by moving elsewhere or turning on their HVAC. I am not trying to downplay this, there are times in the past where I thought wild fires would destroy my home and famine in poorer countries is a very real possibility.

> ..and deeply believe the future will be truly bleak.

This is an optimistic outlook. If the future is bleak, you get to feel good because you were right. If the future isn't bleak, you get to feel good because the future isn't bleak.

Either way, you feel good in the future. And you can feel good now, because you know you'll feel good in the future.

If you feel good now, and you'll feel good in the future, no matter what happens, you're an optimist.

If you're worried about job loss, and want to be optimistic, be pessimistic and assume you'll lose your job, so make a big emergency fund. If you need it, you'll feel good, because you prepared. If you don't need it, you'll feel good because you have a big emergency fund and are prepared monetarily for anything that comes at you.

- Gratitude sort of feeds into this. People make lists of all the kindnesses they received from others - just making a point to remember them, maybe even conscientiously reflect on them.

I think the same skills transfer to optimism. If you look at all the times you received what you wanted -- that you got your desired outcome in the past -- it'd make it easier to anticipate it continuing to happen going forward.

My other advice is just straightforward: exercise. I think the endorphins one gets from exercise can somehow be converted to positivity/enthusiasm/optimism. Just remember it's a three-part system. It's exercise + good healthy nutrition + plenty of sleep. (And some people also add in a positivity practice to top it all off...)

This one is easy. Just read the "Beginning of Infinity" from David Deutsche. Disguised as a physics book - it's not an easy read - this is the book on optimism.

Why do you want to be optimistic?

Alcohol. If all else fails, you always have delusion. :)

Fake it 'till you make it.

Nothing could be easier to say and more difficult to do. Just like any other life changing habit. You get out what you put it.