I would like to know how others go about finding peers to discuss the more abstract or theoretical aspects of their craft/trade/field to a degree that a "9-to-5er" would typically just not care about.
In my work life I find it difficult to engage others in discussions about computer science theories, or even obtain advice about perceived best practices. Those who have the knowledge and experience seem too burnt out with the industry to care, and those without are usually in the industry for the status & pay.
So how / where do you find people who care?
Basically looking for people interested in hacking on databases, compilers, emulators, browsers, operating systems, distributed systems, etc. Anything cool software internals? Come hang out. Introduce yourself in #hacking-introductions.
But also, you're in the right place. Hacker News and Lobsters are great communities for this. Plus good quality Reddits like /r/programminglanguages, /r/compilers, /r/emudev, /r/databasedevelopment, /r/networkdevelopment, etc.
The /r/emudev sub has an awesome Discord server and I hear the /r/programminglanguages sub has an awesome Discord too.
[0] discord.multiprocess.io
[1] meetup.com/hackernights
I would, however, caution away from the mindset that your colleagues don't care about their craft. They probably do, but that doesn't mean that their interests necessarily overlap with yours. Calling them "9-to-5ers" seems needlessly adversarial as well, even if they do prefer more work-life balance in their life.
Most Americans are raised and educated to be compliant and submissive, which is the kiss of death to "giving a shit" about anything. You have to be willing to take risks and rock the boat to have interesting and relevant opinions and interests. Too many won't do that.
Most of the people I've found who "give a shit" tend to have strong moral/religious training while young, tend to be home-schooled, tend to have had fairly intense nerd hobbies in their youth, tend to have been raised by parents to lead and/or decide what is right on their own compass or by critical thinking rather than by others.
In general they did NOT go to public schools, NOT live without religion in their youth, NOT go to top tier universities (especially not Ivies or West Coast Ivies), NOT tend to go along with the crowd for morality or ethics or otherwise demonstrate NPC-traits.
The top people who work for me were non-traditional in one or more of the above ways. Some didn't even graduate with university degrees but have a passion for everything they do in an autodidactic way.
Sadly most people I get unrequested resumes from or interview are pretty close to being dead inside - NPCs. To avoid this, I usually go to where the right people congregate, talk with them, and also just watch how they approach everything around them. Better if in-person but online works sometimes. I've gotten pretty good at reading the NPCs from the non-NPCs.
I guess the only advice I could generalize from this would be to seek out the people working at the top end of whatever industry you’re interested in, as the people who are truly passionate about a subject are likely to be talented and probably working at whatever place is considered the “best”.