Does being single hurt your productivity?

One part of it is the fact that when you're alone you're more likely to drift into unhealthy habits. Being isolated means that there's nobody to judge your for staying in bed, eating junk food and scrolling reddit all weekend. It's similar to how I'm more likely to keep my flat clean if I have people coming over, or more likely to get my work done if I'm in the office surrounded by people, or to set more ambitious goals in life if I'm surrounded by more successful people. Not everyone is motivated that way but I find a bit of judgement from other people to be a healthy thing, or at least it's something that pushes me in the right direction. Being too isolated for too long causes your life to rot in a way.

I'm on the fence with this one.

On one hand, I have less motivation to work hard.

On the other hand. I have more time and am not being verbally abused by anyone.

Having a partner doesn't necessarily mean I'd work harder or smarter.

Unfortunately, I have to spend a lot of time and money on family (parents.) Their nagging can be unbelievable.

My thoughts are that motivation should be found internally. Loneliness is a feeling you can escape. Even in solitude.

You could argue that becoming more inward facing and eschewing community is harmful to greater society and the world at large. But I'd rather save myself from the misery of having to deal with what I consider a mentally ill world. Solitude isn't a bad choice. Isolation isn't the worst thing. You can find peace and quiet.

Losing someone has definitely had a negative effect on my mood, health and productivity. I'm approaching 50 and single and it constantly preys on my mind, often causing issues with relaxing and sleeping well. This obviously means I don't bring "my best self" to work. Of course, having a partner does introduce other responsibilities and pressures, but I'd much prefer having those challenges than the existential dread of living alone.

It all comes back to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I suppose. Deficiencies there mean you're not truly fulfilling your potential. Yes, I do recognise how fortunate I am to have food, shelter and some savings, but being alone is still hard to cope with.

I hope it's some comfort to know that there are others in the same situation, minroot, and I'm sorry I can't provide any advice other than to keep trying your best and accept that it is enough.

I'd argue being single is the biggest boost to productivity. If you could put those thoughts aside, you have all the time in the world to pursue your goals and activity. Once you have a partner or someone else in your life, now your time becomes divided. You'll have to consider your partner and dedicate time to them to make sure the relationship can prosper.

It is always bad relationship < being single < good relationship.

I was SOOOO much more productive when I was single. Work-wise, I didn't have family or other obligations that required a schedule, so I could work longer hours when I wanted to, or go in later when I didn't.

At home, I could go to the gym later at night and not have to worry about missing "us" time or a kids bed time. Around the house, I could clean and organize and things would stay that way. Once I got married and had a kid, things get wrecked in hours, killing any of my motivation to do those things.

Where are you in your life? Do you have a mission you're working on? Are you closer to say 20 years old and just starting out, or closer to maybe 50 years old and feeling like the clock is ticking?

That's such a silly question

If you are lonely and having thoughts if you were with someone, you should try to look for a partner

Productivity is pointless, life is about doing what you want and having a good time, stop making excuses for taking charge of your life

For me it does, but I would rather put it the other way round: when I was in a happy relationship, I was much more productive, single focused and my mind was always sharp and clear. Unfortunately it didn't last. Now I'm back to the ups and downs of shitty single life. For me the big thing was the future security of being in a long term relationship. I'm early 30s and don't want to end up alone. I don't live to work, although I do my work gladly and enjoy it. But I work for a purpose and without a wife and kids, I have no purpose.

I went bald at 22 and I'm sort of weird so outside of a handful of relationships I've largely been single. Having to pretend I'm "interested" going out when I've been in relationships has been tiring, people in general are sort of tiring now.

I love being alone and just doing whatever I want - my last partner also claimed I wasn't "motivated" enough, genuinely convinced relationships are sort of a hassle. More money for travel / doing whatever I want. But idk, good for you if you found a solid relationship.

There is another take on this; A breakup will hurt your productivity more than being single.

Being single doesn't hurt productivity.

But not having sexual releases often hurts productivity for me.

I'm not sure you need to be specific really about the situation of being 'single'. Any emotional/mental health issues will have an adverse effect in most if not all aspects of your life. Work isn't necessarily an exception to that.

From my perspective it pretty much depends on if you are an internally or externally structured person.

I am far more productive when I am single, since my whole day is structured internally and I can focus on the things I am really interested in for as long as I want to.

Whereas a partner sets timeframes, which can also help to structure your day but isn’t very intuitive.

Mental health affects happiness. You can have good and poor mental health both being single and not.

Don't get me wrong but for me opposite is true.

Even though S.O. helps with chores you have to book everything for 2 people, adjust plans accordingly. Basically consumes your processing power with many more variables to account for.

OTOH when I was single, I was able to focus on something whenever I want and wherever I want.

This is especially true for less hours but more fragmented structure. For instance, I would carry my laptop with me everywhere since I don't have to carry other things. And when I am sipping my coffee I get an idea and implement/test on point.

Meanwhile with someone it is not so easy. They see you having a backpack and then they add stuff in it since you're already carrying it. Not complaining here, since it is also logical thing to do.

Then, you need to keep your attention on your partner. You cannot immediately focus on something of your hobbies or work.

tl:dr; Basically with someone, you need to create slots like "work" "hobbies" "events" and "private". Sometimes you will want to get things done in another slot but having to communicate and reschedule everything is too much work. So you try to be 50-70% productive on that slot than whenever (now?) you want.

Spending lots of time every day on dating apps.

So many variables. It really depends on who you are (your personality and individual needs and preferences), what your support network is like, whether you have a project that you're working on, how your would-be partnership affects your time, etc.

If you're 20 and stuck in a dead-end job and horny and partying all the time, maybe a partner would help control those urges and make you both lead more fulfilling lives. Or maybe you'd both accentuate each other's weaknesses and spiral down together into a hellhole of addiction and self-loathing. Who knows?

If you're 40 and relatively established in your life and career, a good partner can do wonders for keeping your life contentment high and your routine healthy. It's good to take a break from work once in a while, and when you return to it, you'll be more rested and motivated. It gives you side benefits to your work too (vacations with your partner, weekend outings, whatever) so that when your work projects aren't going well, you can at least be motivated by those side benefits.

Regardless of your age, being together with the wrong person can drastically fuck up your psyche, especially if there's a lot of drama (insecurities, paranoia) or abuse (emotional, physical, verbal) or trust issues (cheating, control issues), etc. That can be way, WAY worse than being single... trust me, there are worse things than loneliness.

In my very humble opinion as a late-30s millennial, loneliness is best tackled not by a romantic partner but by deep and fulfilling friendships in which you can share both activities and emotional connections and good conversations. That both decreases your tendency to put all your eggs in one basket (becoming codependent on a partner) and also teaches you the day-to-day and emotional framework to learn to work with, not against, your own emotions. It teaches you a bunch of coping strategies when you're feeling down (e.g. doing something fun with a friend that doesn't physically hurt you like partying does), conflict resolution skills, etc. And those same skills transfer over to a good partnership so that if and when you find a good one, you can grow that initial romantic attraction into a lasting and mutually fulfilling partnership, without being overly dependent on that other person to the point of suffocation.

I think there's a mix of conventional wisdom here, from "no man is an island" to "you can't love someone else until you love yourself". I don't think either extreme is true; we are by nature both communal and individualistic creatures, and a healthy social life combined with periods of reflective introspection can give you the best of both worlds. But the modern dating culture -- fast swipes and short stays -- are antithetical to building lasting and meaningful connections. If you can sidestep that urge to date fast and furiously for the sake of sex, and focus on building meaningful friendships and connections instead, romantic or not, IMHO you'll be a lot less lonely over the long run. The best partners are also great friends.

But that's just my perspective. Everyone is different. Some people very much so, if their genetics, culture, upbringing, personality, etc. are drastically different from mine. Some thrive on long periods of hermited productivity. Others need constant social connection. There's no one-size-fit-all approach to this, you just gotta keep testing and evaluating your ideal position on the social spectrum. If you're lucky you'll find a good balance, and with time, the physical brain development and emotional maturity that makes it all more bearable and eventually enjoyable.

It depends on the person. Me personally, I get extremely comfortable in a relationship. When I’m single, I get really focused on goals. I used to have little to no goals once in a relationship, it’s just too relaxing. The other person can bring food, or you can, just have sex all day, take a day off, go somewhere, you just kind of get lulled into this somewhat hedonistic carefree life.

But when you are single, you sort of shift back into get shit done mode.

Depends on the person(s)(both of you can really get too comfortable in the situation).

My most productive time was when my girlfriend lived with me for two years. I could just focus and didn't ever feel like I needed to leave. She was happy doing house keeping and I was happy working. She left to go take classes and get a job (she's convinced she wants to do that before getting married.) I've watched her become unhappy, restless, and depressed the same way I have.