But the nuclear attacks don’t scare me at this point. Best coping mechanism: stop lying to yourself that you must stay informed. Block your favorite news sites and focus on a project instead. Unless you want to get on a plane and go over there to fight (which the Ukrainian MOD has made an option for anyone who wants to [1]), what is your being informed actually doing for anyone at this point? If it is detrimental to your mental health trust me you should turn off the news and take care of yourself. Again, as someone whose home town is currently being shelled I think you should do that. Go create something useful in the world instead. That’s the right answer.
[1] https://kyivindependent.com/national/who-can-and-cant-join-u...
I'm not saying it's easy but it's the only life philosophy I read about that makes sense to me.
It's best to take a break from reading too much about the current Ukraine situation. This doesn't mean being completely blind to it; however, balancing between your mental health and knowledge of current affairs will help you cope with the ongoing situation more than anything.
I am going to die one day or another, and everything I know and love will be changed and destroyed either in my lifetime or after. Trying to internalise this is very difficult but the grim reading has somehow helped me understand it to some small degree, and helps me focus on the wonder and preciousness of this brief moment of existence.
Most people are going to suggest avoidance strategies. That does work to an extent. You can try to firewall your personal life from work. It doesn't stop intrusive thoughts, other people bringing it up in conversation, or finding something that will remind you of it.
What helped me the most was the opposite - I took to "negative visualization" from stoicism [1].
Meditate for 15 minutes - visualizing one possible negative outcome, really live in those moments, imagine what your life would be like, what hardships you would face, what you would look forward to in that situation. After that 15 minutes, take a deep breath - and realize that hasn't happened. Savor the little joys in your life.
For my particular situation, it helped with mindfulness. I would actively seek out and create those moments of joy.
[1]: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/d...
Though that’s probably not a super useful coping mechanism. Still, the ending is 11 out of 10.
Edited: I am thinking about this from https://scottaaronson.blog/?p=2410 Then a striking 1976 result called Aumann’s Theorem states that their opinions must be equal. Or, as it’s summarized: “rational agents with common priors can never agree to disagree about anything.”
So it seems is fundamental to know what are the priors of the agents. I don't know if Aumann's Theorem and poker have been studied before.
Edited: Something related https://www.foxnews.com/world/putin-is-playing-poker-with-us...
http://www.oism.org/nwss/s73p904.htm is a decent place to start for that. It’s important to understand that nuclear war is survivable depending on where you live and what you do to prepare for it.
You can run simulations at https://alexwellerstein.com/projects/nukemap/ to get an understanding of the risk for the area you live.
I realize this is still depressing as hell, but it’s at least information you can use to more accurately take action.
It may also be worth reading up on what it means when Russia puts their nuclear weapons on high alert. My understanding is that there’s still quite a bit of escalation that would have to happen before we’d find ourselves in a nuclear war [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/putin-put-russias-nuclear...].
I am a fun guy but I am a bit too realistic for some...
Instead of being scared, demotivated and depressed about war in the Ukraine, find a way to spend that nervous energy productively. Maybe join the Ukraine IT Force?
Russia killing Ukrainians to secure Ukraine is still somewhat in line with other invasions of this and last century. We are not yet in madness territory, not by any stretch.
Most likely we won’t even hit the civilian casualty numbers of the Iraq/Afghanistan war.
Otherwise I'm worrying about Ukrainians much more and it breaks my heart what happens there. Also I worry of this "justified" nationalism against innocent part of Russian population which had risen lately, but I do support even more extreme sanctions as it seems there is not much more to be done other than supplying Ukraine with weapons, ammo and aid.
For sure when Ukraine will win the geopolitical system will never be the same again. Militarisation will increase. I will no longer take basics for granted. I think we must all be more vigilant now.
However we're alive and make the day count, but remember that relaxation and rest also counts.
Look for people or groups you can meet IRL for simple activities. In the past I found that playing board games with strangers was a really good way to have a break from the depressing events, and you can often find open boardgame groups around you by looking on meetup or similar platform.
If you feel depressed for a prolonged period of time (more than a few weeks) I would recommend you to contact a psychiatrist in your area, just by precaution. They can help you put words on your negative feelings, diagnose potential troubles you may be facing, and recommend adapted measures to support you (not necessarily medication, that's just an option). I myself went through this process during the past year or so, that has been really helpful so far to deal with my depressive thoughts, identify some patterns in my thoughts and behaviour, and mitigate the negative impact.
Any day you could be in, e.g., a car crash that ends your life.
Just because you learned of another way that your Earthly existence could end does change the situation.
Earthquakes, floods, diseases, sun exploding - anything can happen.
I recently watched Station Eleven. I know people will disagree but in my opinion this series had unprecedented realism. Even though it was about a pandemic its overall positive message also applies to a (much worse) nuclear war. Our civilization would go but mankind would survive and build a new and perhaps even better culture on the remaining patches of land that were still habitable.
Personally, I've been preparing for $generic_disaster_scenario for about a decade now. Not nuclear exchange specifically, but the generic ability to live without external supply chain inputs for a long while, and to defend what we have from would-be thieves. (Although we do have a few fallout-specific supplies and procedures in place, too)
To most, this seems insane, so we keep very quiet about it. But my wife was very grateful for my insanity throughout COVID, and now again through the (still very very small) risk of a nuclear exchange.
I still don't understand why people buy health insurance, auto insurance, homeowner's insurance, etc, but regard it as a sign of mental illness to "buy" existential risk insurance.
I just want to say you’re not alone. I was recently in DC while this war was starting and I found myself having many of the same thoughts. The one that sent me into overdrive was, what if I’m away from home and the missile alert comes up on my phone and I’m separated from my family and can’t even say goodbye.
I haven’t been able to express this to anyone close to me out of embarrassment, as I know it’s mostly unreasonable. It’s left me almost entirely in my own thoughts which as many who have dealt with anxiety know, isn’t usually a good place to be.
Hopefully OP, others, and myself are able to take some of these nuggets of advice to heart and find a way to quiet the anxiety.
They're the ones that high ranking military and other important people (e.g. president) will be in if there's an escalation.
I guess if WW3 starts it will be the same. It is unlikely to scale directly to nukes, and I don't think Putin has enough control of its military to start a worldwide nuclear war.
My point is, find someone and vent what's on your mind.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ukraine/comments/t4wley/latest_upda...
Each morning I wake up hoping he is still alive, still uniting europe!
And by knowing that if they get us, at least we can rid the world of the cancer that russia has become.
So you are going to die no matter what. Tomorrow in a nuke strike, next week in a car crash, month from now from aneurysm, ten years from now in famines due to climate change, twenty years from now in heart attack? What does it matter how and when?
Some people are saying "we shouldn't stand up to Putin because that might be the end of the world". But is a world where someone like that can do whatever they want really world worth saving?
Despair is the correct reaction, but despair is the natural state of the world.
(But some people told me I'm not ok, so you know.)
In this way, i am made to feel like my exposure is almost limited to direct hits.
Sometimes when i cant escape the anxiety, i go on backpacking trips to disconnect (and stay out of the crosshairs).
Life as you know it might end tomorrow, but it's just as likely to be a traffic accident, meteor strike, or something more mundane like a heart attack or cancer. Remember to live while you can. Death will come to us all at some point, and the specifics don't really matter when it comes to you deciding on how you want to spend your time while being alive.
As others mentioned, doom-scrolling will not help. Sitting alone, worrying won't help either. Here and now, there's little else to do but to put pressure on politicians in order to keep them applying harsh but non-violent sanctions on the aggressors, make them stick to their own promises of aid to Ukraine, as well as to be prepared help refugees if/when they arrive.
If you feel this is consuming you to such an extent that you feel that you _must_ do something, then direct action is an actual option. As far as I know Ukrainian armed forces are accepting applicants both for combatant and non-combatant roles.
Having grown up in the 80s, this conflict isn't particularly worrying me, we've been much closer in the past.
Now that it's on everyone's minds, I hope it will not be quickly forgotten in the aftermath.
Edit: if you need an immediate calming down… Even a crazy dictator is unlikely to want to destroy the world, because then there would be no one to rule over. Simplistic, but slightly reassuring.
If you believe you can solve a nuclear war, you should do it. If not, your thinking about it won’t change the outcome. So, focus on what positive change you can make.
Seriously, if they launch, they launch. There's absolutely nothing you, I or anyone else can do about it.
Now, if you want some consolation consider this: back in the 90's the U.S. did a launch-readiness test. Something on the order of 90% of U.S. silos could not be opened far enough to enable launch. That's on top of another 20%-30% of the missiles not being able to launch because of their age and the state of their rocket fuel. Then even if you can open the silo and launch the missile there will be crews who will refuse to launch. If you can open the silo, launch the missile, and the crew is willing to launch then you still have the problem that their navigation systems will miss their target. Finally, if you can open the silo, have a crew willing to launch, successfully launch the missile, the navigation system successfully steer the missile to the intended target there's always the possibility the bomb won't detonate. Keep in mind were discussing this about weapons systems that were deployed 50-60 years ago. Oh, and keep in mind we've developed missile defense systems since then - further depressing the odds that any of the nukes will be able to strike their intended targets.
In short, it's saber rattling. Putin is humiliated by the poor performance of his army and is terrified the West will realize the Russian Bear has no claws or fangs and is using the threat of nuclear war to ensure the West doesn't try to counter invade upon seeing how weak Russia really is.
* Matthew 6:25 "On this account I say to you: Stop being anxious about your lives"
* Luke 21:34 "But pay attention to yourselves that your hearts never become weighed down with ... anxieties of life"
* 1Peter 5:7 "throw all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you."
This has worked for about three and a half thousand years:
Psalms 55:22 "Throw your burden on Jehovah, And he will sustain you."
For more info: https://www.jw.org/en/library/series/more-topics/russia-inva...
However in the non-zero chance that I’m wrong if humanity self annihilates then that will have been the story of us in the progression of the universe and time will march on without us which is what it is. In such a future we won’t be around to ponder it so it doesn’t matter.
So I guess my coping mechanism is pragmatic realism about only worrying about things that are within my ability to influence.
I’d recommend for you though only reading the news once a day for 15 mins and absolutely no social media or 24 hour news tv (especially any 24 hour news in the US) as anxiety is a reinforcing spiral and you sound like you need a detox.
But seriously I cope by a combination of denial and remembering we have been here before and survived.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JrMiSQAGOS4
Ignore the clickbaity headline and that it's from 2015 - it explains how we (you and me) understand the situation vs. how Putin looks at it. It definitely suggests the more we push Putin into a corner because of our values the more chance there is of nuclear war. It's still unlikely though because Putin and the Oligarchs are rational actors in all this.
I guess its just a mindset thing. Sorry if thats not helpful.
Nothing has really changed if you're outside of Ukraine and Russia. There should be virtually zero impact to your day to day life.
I assume you're not a politician or diplomat. There's probably nothing you can do to change Putin to stop making threats. These sort of threats have gone on for a long time - there was a whole period called the Cold War. Nothing has come out of them so far. Why do you think they will now? Do you have some info that the intelligence agencies don't?
In my mind, there's nothing you should fear about the threat. You should have basic emergency preparations that cover a variety of scenarios. There's not much you can additional do to help your survival outside of going high-dollar prepper and getting a bunker and training/consultation (KI could be a cheap thing to make you fell better, but if you're that close, there's going to be other major issues).
Basically, all of this is outside of your control. There's no point in worry about something that's not likely to happen and that you don't have any influence on. You've done everything you can (assuming basic emergency preparation), so it's time to make peace with the fact that whatever happens you'll have to deal with it at that time.
I turn off the news
They're the number one cause of fear amongst populations.
We go from one fear mongering bullshit to the next. The very recent past had Trump, then Corona, now - without delay, coincidentially just as the corona fear mongering stops working - it's the Ukraine and Russia.
And if it's not fear, then it's something else meant to rattle our collective jimmies.
Here's a challenge!
100 imaginary internet points for whoever answers this question:
What was the major jimmy-rattling topic before Trump?
First, there's a Tiktok meme about how if you're having trouble coping just talk to a GenXer. There is some truth to this. Anyone GenX or older grew up with the imminent threat of thermonuclear war as just part of your existence.
Second, if there happens to be nuclear war we're all completely hosed so in a way it doesn't really matter. A huge chunk of us won't survive the initial attacks. Many of the rest won't survive the period thereafter and I have to imagine that an awful lot of people will... opt out... at that point too. It's a bit like worrying about if the plane you're on is going to crash. You probably won't be around to deal with it.
Third, it's kind of amazing how close we've already come to this already. Let me introduce you to Vasily Arkhipov [1]. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, US destroyers were detonating depth charges to get Soviet nuclear submarines to surface and leave. Those onboard were cutoff from communication with Moscow and didn't know if nuclear war had begun. The command structure was that 3 key officers needed to unaminously agree to fire their nuclear missiles. Two of them voted to launch. One, Arkhipov, refused. Were it not for this one person's vote, the world would've ended in 1962.
The Cuban Missile Crisis is still of relevance today, actually. The US precipitated that crisis (by deploying nuclear weapons to Turkey) and Kennedy's recklessness almost precipitated nuclear war. For 200 years the US has had the Monroe Doctrine [2]:
> It held that any intervention in the political affairs of the Americas by foreign powers was a potentially hostile act against the U.S.
Under this doctrine, Soviet nuclear missiles in Cuba was unacceptable. Yet we're somehow shocked that Russia finds (and has explicitly stated) that NATO, being a hostile or potentially hostile (from Russia's perspective) military alliance with nuclear capabilities, on their doorstep was (understandably) unacceptable.
It's also worth mentioning Stanislav Petrov [3] who overruled an early warning system that had falsely detected a US nuclear launch in 1983.
Anyway, so I guess my point is you don't really have any control over the outcome so there's not much point worrying about it.
[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasily_Arkhipov
The conflict is localized to parts of Ukraine. There is no impending doom as long as NATO does not directly intervene. And I simply don't see Biden or Johnson sacrificing American and British cities for the sake of Ukraine.
To their credit, the US administration has been fairly calm given the circumstances. It is the European leaders that have been issuing belligerent statements and walking them back. They keep using the term "war" when referring to their actions against Russia.
Mindful meditation seems to be the best. Look up a guided meditation by ajahn brahm.
>I've noticed I'm becoming more scared, demotivated and depressed as the Ukraine conflict marches on and irrational people make nuclear threats.
If the sanctions dont work we are not post-war as the human species.
Fear of NATO is pointless. It's purely defensive. Russia only fears NATO because they had plans to invade. NATO keeps the peace. Being opposed to NATO is being opposed to peace. USA war exhaustion is super high, it's everyone else's turn who wants to invade. Russia took this opportunity.
Now for the topic at hand. The Russian people aren't strong like various Arabic folks. Putin will stay in power and continue his invasions. There will be more, not hard to predict this.
Eventually Russian military will come along and shoot at the wrong thing. Someone who couldn't read a map drove into nato territory and shot at something they shouldn't have... or a bvr missile tracks poorly and downs someone outside the theatre of war. Russians have already 'misfired' on Turkish boats.
Sanctions need to work before that inevitability. When that inevitability does occur, the Russians have been clear that they will use nuclear weapons.
There are alternative scenarios but things like China having been sideswiped by Russia and used as a shield for an invasion probably isn't leaving a good taste in their mouth. They probably only knew about the new republics and Russia was going to recognize. China could turn around and put a stop to the war. I just don't see it happening.
Concerning the nuclear treat, there is one country that has used nuclear bombing, spreading nuclear bombs around the world expanding nearer of countries it is hostile to, and which has started many wars.
Citizen of this country must vote better, you are free to partake in political activism for a party which you think is more able to keep world stability.
If you are like most people, you cannot influence events. Like most people, discussing the situation is simply exchanging propaganda, because we have no real information.
As the majority are productivity halted by these events we have no control, take advantage of the low activity in others to get things done. May as well, because everyone else is wasting their time.