How do you care for a nerd who is grieving?

The grieved might not be up for talking or doing much. Parallel play, where you’re both just in the same room doing your own thing on a laptop, can be a low pressure way to let them know they’re not alone.

Likewise, if this has been an exhausting time for them, don’t just say “how can I help”. Saying “hey, I’m making lasagna, do you want me to bring you one” or “I rented a power washer for the whole day, want me to swing by in the afternoon and do your porch” is an easier decision that requires less executive function.

Besides that, encourage them by saying you’re doing something to celebrate the deceased’s life. Big funerals aren’t happening, so the passing of a loved one can feel surreal. Knowing someone else is acknowledging the liss can mean a lot.

I had a friend who was sorta a nerd.

One day I found out something really bad happened in his family and he wasn't himself.

So what I did was I tried to spend more time with him, invited him to more gatherings with other friends, and basically "dragged" him out of his house.

Over time he felt better because he had people to talk to, and he eventually perked up. Of course there were downtimes, but he was much better eventually.

Oh and this guy I knew loved Japanese porn as his fav site was https://avsanpuru.com (p/s: NSFW). So I just kept recommending popular videos and we bonded a lot more over that too lol.

Funny story but yeah. Glad he's all good now.

I'm going through something similar.

Help find them things to do. Especially right now where working from home is the norm, I can often not see anyone for days at a time.

Don't expect a person who is grieving to grieve in a particular way, particularly in the U.S. culture. Some people might want to talk about it, other people might not. Some people might cry, some people might not. It's personal. Be there for them.

Probably the best way to care for them is to ask how they want you to care for them. Everyone handles grief differently.

I went through this recently - for me I want to talk about it, over and over again. And I want hugs. And I found it helpful to have people check in on me from time to time to see how I was doing.

Just be around. Dont force an outcome. Just be around.

I'd focus on the basic needs: hygiene, sleep, food. Those tend to be the canaries in the nerd depression mine, in my experience. Try to gently steer things in the right direction.

I unfortunately had a similar experience recently and a good answer I find is spending time with them or just being nearby. Even if it's just being online on discord and being up for a game while talking about random stuff, the presence of another person can help a lot. Hope this helps.

Let them grief. All you can do is assist them on their daily chores as much as possible: cleaning, groceries, taking care of pets.

The reacharound assist. Let him decide when to resume face-to-face.

I'm going through something similar. Help find them things to do. Especially right now where working from home is the norm, I can often not see anyone for days at a time. https://www.myhtspace.org/