HACKER Q&A
📣 withtrauma

How do I achieve success with severe childhood trauma?


Hi HN - longtime lurker here. Early 30s, grew up in the US in a very traditional immigrant family where physical and emotional child abuse was rampant. At school, I barely got by. I failed socially and personally to thrive. Pressured to study a major I had no interest in and continued to grad school where I came to my senses and dropped out. Around college I learned of YC/HN and was bit by the startup bug. That interest stuck with me through grad school and shortly after leaving, with no experience or network or even my own mental health (unbeknownst at the time), I cofounded a startup where for the next 3 years I failed massively.

After entering therapy, I came to learn that much of my ineffectiveness as an adult was due to severe childhood trauma that has manifested as intense anxiety, depression, and cognitive impairment. I am not resilient. No self esteem, no ability manage relationships and workload. Absolutely no executive functioning ability. No network, no mentors. I can’t process info at the level most of my peers can — my brain feels shot most of the time.

And as I get older, I see peers and friends benefiting from the positive compounding interest of past successes, whereas it feels my curve is moving in the opposite direction. I’ve been in therapy for several years and have explored almost every modality. And while there has been progress, I feel so so delayed in my development that there is no way I’ll reach a stage where I can compete on the level of my peers (ie. to be as effective as them) in the foreseeable future. This feels like a serious handicap that will forever render me ineligible to be an entrepreneur.

Has anyone found themselves in a similar life situation?


  👤 gerardnico Accepted Answer ✓
As my grandmother said, every body had a place where he/she excels. Find yours.

That's not the destination, that's the journey.


👤 irthomasthomas
Life is completely random. But if you must compete, then compete only with yourself.