But recently, it has been overwhelming for me to focus, and since last months, it seems I have no at all. Everything seems fking hard. Even the little ones. Also, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria and some off-handed comment replays in my brain like a blockbuster movie in theatre.
I am thinking about going to psych next week and get a proper evaluation and if possible meds.
How has been your life after meds or diagnosis?
For me, obtaining a diagnosis (finally, at age 41) was extremely helpful on its own. Remember that if you have a diagnosis, you are not obligated to medicate. With my diagnosis in hand I was prescribed Strattera, which is not a stimulant like Adderall. It is demonstrably helpful, but not mind-blowingly effective. You should get checked out for anxiety and depression too. Living with ADHD causes one to develop anxiety and depression, which can be more detrimental. I've been on citalopram since about age 30. I also work with a talk therapist once a week. Getting help for anxiety, and the SSRI medication especially has made all the difference in my professional life. I had the severe kind of dysfunction you're experiencing and over the course of a few months on those meds I became the confident and productive team leader I wanted to be. Interestingly, it wasn't until becoming the parent of a child with ADHD that I was curious about investigating it for myself. Best of luck :)
Overall I have had a slight improvement after getting a diagnosis. My post history will give you more details if you're interested.
I tried medication. I find it helps a little. Better than not having it. Temper your expectations. Some people get big improvements, others get very little. It's just one part of the puzzle.
Other therapies can help too. ADHD counsellors and coaches. CBT. Medication might help you to access these.
Really, there is basically no downside to getting a diagnosis. You could decide to not take medication and you wouldn't be any worse off than before.
If you are noticing a relatively sudden change it might be worth getting a physical to rule out any other deficiencies/health problems that could be contributing to your issues too.
Good luck with your journey. Remember, changes take time. You wouldn't go for a jog one day and then say you're done with fitness. Mental health and fitness take constant care, attention and effort.