This is so uncomfortable to me so I decided to do two things: The first is to create a new account so no shame in the future. The second is to accept the problem that I have.
I've been in a state of denial the entire decade. That was almost ten years ago when I made a decision to flee my country because of the civil war. Since then, things have changed so much and so deep. I am not going to explain the psychological effect. It's enough to see the news to know what Afghans are going through. It's ugly. Some of us - the nation of refugees - are lucky to start a new life. Others, like me, are stuck between two worlds. You are not settled in a new country, you can't go back and you can't establish a new life. So you become clearly, undocumented in a third country. An undocumented person has no right. Not even the right to work. You are allowed to make a living basically in the black market. You can live, you can't grow and you cant build a career. With a lot of what can you do and what can't, I had several jobs. A teacher, a ghostwriter, an interpreter, along with the thing that I love: programming. Since March 2020 I've been unemployed. Covid came and hit me hard, financially.
Job hunting is good until you reveal who you are. I got rejected multiple times because of my nationality. And then the US decided to impose sanctions that affect the whole nation regardless of your status.
Of course, I have another plan. I was working hard on JavaScript, so hard that I decided to launch my own product. And I did it, two months ago I launched a software product. What a nice thing to do, except, you need a marketing plan, some kind of fund (obviously), and time to make your product usable in the production. The bottom line is I feel I am living in a world of illusion, I know my limitations now. Working hard is not enough, make your bed in the morning wouldn't improve my life.
I am not sorry though, I did what I did. But I have come to the point where I have to make a decision. What should I do? I can't work normally since I am undocumented. My resume is not fit (admit it no no one hires people like me). And I feel like I have to be patient and wait, maybe my product will improve and boom becomes a success story but the clock is ticking and I have to make a decision.
If you are 34, do you wait? Or change your path and accept your destiny and find anything that generates income and stop chasing the clouds. If you are in a situation like this, what would you do?
Don't forget that you can avoid paying any taxes given your status. But you are not getting any rights, so I think that's okay.