Do companies have absolutely no obligation to shareholders when they're private or something?
FWIW from what I know and understand, there are different rules for shareholders of private organizations that haven't raised money and those that have which are required to register with the SEC. Anyone who raised a proper round had to file with the SEC so that changes the rules some, also the number of investors involved changes it, class of stock etc. Read your original Agreement and write the company and ask for a current standing of your equity (do not call, write). If they fail to respond in 30-45 days then I'd likely report them for failing to discharge their duties for shareholders. From what I understand it doesn't really get them in trouble but they will get a letter from the SEC stating they've been contacted with a complaint about failure to do XYZ and they have X period to correct it. Of course, IANAL and my information may be out of date with all the new changes over the past 3-5 years with the SEC.
Read the fine print on your options award. Diluting the little guys is an old Valley tradition. Unless you have a no dilute clause, you're out of luck.
In practice, some comply to the rules and some others don't.