HACKER Q&A
📣 rblion

What helps you deal with burnout?


I live in Maui and work remotely for myself. I live rent-free at a nice B&B rent-free, in exchange I work three websites for the owners (B&B, record label, a school). It's fun and challenging but also exhausting dealing with nepotism, technophobia, being 'the support guy' for anything that breaks.

I'm ready to move on but am also a little afraid. I think my current mental state isn't helping. I'm trying to talk about it to get that spark back and make some big changes in 2021.

I don't know if this is relatable to anyone here but I genuinely need some support and connection. I feel very alone surrounded by people more interested in my astrology chart than in the wonders of astronomy.


  👤 austincheney Accepted Answer ✓
What worked for me was taking a temporary management job outside the United States for about a year even though I have a spouse and children.

👤 zarkov99
What worked for me was changing my computing environment to use only beautiful technology (at least as I perceived it). That means a few things: high performance, elegance, understandability and small, high quality communities. For me, at the time, that meant dropping Windows and C++ in favor of Scheme and Linux. That rekindled my love with computing.

👤 thelastinuit
- One hour of walking (I walk fast). - Two to three episodes of Community, Seinfeld, IT Crowd, The Office, Parks and Recreation or Brooklyn 99 (I bought them online so I can do this anywhere I have internet). - A nap of at least 30 mins.

Sometimes I do two of those options.


👤 Neputys
My hard to follow but sincere advice would be - run. I think you know what you are doing and by the looks of things already know or at least feel where it's getting you. Be a little nicer to your self (and don't be stupid).

👤 Throwaway1771
Change of scenery, company, state of mind.

Go for a walk and vaporize cannabis.


👤 neetij
Good on you for reaching out. Burnout can be draining and not having someone that understands/doesn't judge makes the experience harder to deal. There are different types of burnout which can affect everyone differently. Slow down and start making changes in small increments to improve your mental health. A few changes that helped me (that are more generally applicable for you/others)...

- Make friends with yourself and then support yourself - I mean, wouldn't you cut your friend some slack and offer this kind of advice if they were in a similar situation? Forgive yourself for feeling scared. It's OK. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself when you indulge (no matter if it is procrastination, retail therapy, ice cream, media consumption, or whatever). - Remember that not every day needs to be 'productive'. So, slow down and take some pressure off. This can take a bit getting used to because you may feel you're cheating yourself or your client/employer. Break work into smaller chunks. Remember, not everything needs to be done right away, in one fell swoop, or at all. - Segregate work and play, times and places. Try to set some office hours for your support work. Might be easier to physically step away from the B&B during those hours, if explaining your need for private time is difficult. - Sleep, wake, eat, and exercise at regular times everyday. Don't surf/watch/read in bed and screens off ~30 minutes before lights out. Follow a healthy and balanced diet (more fruits and greens, less meat). Introduce a schedule slowly. - Add an exercise regimen. Even light exercise such as a daily 45 min stroll will help (and Maui should have some beautiful views). Cycle, run, hike, or swim if you can. - Develop some regular social interactions and find a supportive community/group/individual. Talk to a therapist/counseller and/or a supportive partner/friend. Talking, letting it out, helps. - Do more things that do not involve computing/screens. Fulfill a new creative urge or rekindle and old, long cast-aside interest. Read a book; volunteer - even a little helps others and helps you; meditate - I found guided gratitude-focused meditation was helpful. I still watch plenty of stuff, but I'm now more aware when I'm doomscrolling or experiencing video fatigue+mesmerism. - If you have interests in cycling, dancing, painting, writing, board games, wood working, etc., now is a good time to seek out groups or places that organise casual events without major commitment. They will afford you conversations and social interaction that is helpful. - I found fulfilling non-computing interests made a positive impact and helped me deal with exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. Don't worry about being good at these other interests. Start small, at whatever level you are comfortable with. - If you feel good/bad on a particular day, consider your activities, food consumption, media consumption, for the last 48 hours.

Recovering from burnout takes time - I have been making changes in the last 18 months, and it has not been easy. That spark is relatable, and it will come back (perhaps in a different form).

OK. That was quite a bit more than I expected to write. I hope some of it is helpful and I haven't come off as soapboxing.


👤 edrobap
Working on your intrinsic motivation needs - relatedness, autonomy, and competence - has always helped me when it comes to burnout, failures, and, in general, feeling of things not going your way. AFAIU, you probably have a good autonomy in terms of "how" you do the tech stuff as long as it works. Embrace your autonomy and have a plan for the other two.