HACKER Q&A
📣 maximemanseau

I just became a father, what is the only book I should read?


I just became a father, what is the only book I should read?


  👤 AnimalMuppet Accepted Answer ✓
You shouldn't read only one.

There are two kinds of books. One kind urges you to be more permissive; the other kind urges you to be more strict.

In Zion National Park, there's a trail called Angel's Landing. You wind up climbing this ridge, with a 1000-foot dropoff on one side, and a 500-foot dropoff on the other side. Parenting is like that. There's a cliff on the side of being too permissive. You read a book warning you about that. So you back well away from that cliff. But there's a cliff on the other side, too, and you become to strict by trying to not be too permissive.

Worse, if your natural bent (or upbringing, or whatever) is toward being too strict, then a book that warns about being too permissive resonates more with you than one that warns about being too strict, even though the second kind is the one that you really need to hear.

So, yeah. Beware becoming a parent of only one book.


👤 jseliger
There is no "only" book, but The Anthropology of Childhood could be one choice. https://jakeseliger.com/2015/03/05/thoughts-on-the-anthropol...

👤 marz0
I just bought the book The Baby Owner's Manual [0] since I'll be in your position in ~6 months. I haven't read it yet but it got decent reviews. Curious to hear input from others.

[0] https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594745978/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b...


👤 obrit
Like others have said, no book will cover it all, which is why I am recommending a daily newsletter: https://dailydad.com/

Sometimes the advice is really good, other times it's repetitive, often I don't even read it. But I like getting a reminder each day that I should be present with my kids, work can wait, I should put down my phone and just be with my kids and let them have all of my attention.


👤 giantg2
No book will cover everything. Use the internet and find some reputable sources (webMD, PubMed, your state's laws and programs, etc).

👤 thecrumb
There is no operators manual. Just enjoy!

👤 dpeck
Happiest Baby on the Block for guidance on learning how to sooth very helpful the first few months.

👤 m0llusk
Nurture Shock by Po Bronson and ... some other person. But please don't stop there with this "only book I should read" thing. Sometimes more is more, and that is most certainly the case with books.

👤 andrei_says_
Not for everything but for attitude and understanding what’s going on, esp. your emotions.

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort, $14 on Amazon.


👤 db48x
SICP

👤 probinso
A brief history of time

👤 probinso
manufacturing consent