Unemployed. What on earth should I do with my life?

The skill of getting a job is completely different than your profession skills. First of if you are not getting agents calling you and getting replies on applications in the most abundant industry that software development is you are doing something very wrong. I know of people with literature degree that learnt coding in a few months by themselves and landed a developer job... Things to consider:

1) your CV and online profile is bad - keep it one 1-2 pages, keep it concise, only include previous RELEVANT job experience and skills gained from it, also include any accomplishments on the roles. Include education and section with Skills and Personal Projects. Don't bother adding unnecessary fluff like personal statement or hobbies. Put a good profile on LinkedIn with same sections and accept all agents invitations

2) You live in a small town if so either move to a big one or apply for remote jobs in bigger cities around Europe/America

3) Your interview/social skills are bad- do mock interviews, read Cracking the Coding Interview, look people in the eyes when interviews and be calm.

4) Your tech skills are rubbish - you don't need to be hackerrank master but you should be able to do some common problems like fibonacci and hashmaps and related again Do more practice and work on personal project like CRUD apps and pick easier language like Python

If you do all of these points there is no way you won't get a job

Have you ever considered technical writing? If you're a good writer with CS/engineering, you'd have a definite leg up over other applicants (even if you don't have direct tech writing experience). I'm a tech writer (English + CS background) and I love my job. I know quite a few tech writers who dabble in docs-related automation/process improvement projects.

Daaamn. Whenever I see posts like this - people complaining that they can't get employed and I read the list of their skills, I get hit with anxiety and panic.

If people with good skills can't get a job, what am I suppose to do when I lose mine? I also don't understand how do freelancers stay calm, don't they basically have to be in a job, client-seeking mode all the time?

Something to consider is taking the time and learning algorithms and data structures and applying to faang for software engineering job. They still recruit and at least one do it fully remote in this situation. It maybe risky though because preparations can take significant amount of time depending on your current level of knowledge and it may not pay off immediately (they may not come with an offer first time you apply). The upside is those companies will likely survive the crisis and if you are well prepared you should be able to get in. Also if you apply to couple of those companies around the same time it's less likely you won't get a job because of some random factors and it more depends on how well you prepare. Take care.

Sounds like you have some great skills/experience,

I was just looking for a job for a few months. I would recommend first planning:

-when do i run out of money and need to take any job i can get

-how long am i willing to continue to train my skills/apply to jobs before i want to give up and take any job? (make sure to take advantage of having the ability to keep learning/improving your skills while you are not working)

-what is the minimum amount of money you need to take a job? any other deal breakers? sounds like emacs might be one for you. I would apply to every emacs job in your country/region (at least 25 resume submissions a week)

I dont know how to answer "what is the right job for you". If you want to be an automation-engineer (i dont really know what that is exactly), i would recommend talking to some automation-engineers for their thoughts on your experience/what you need to do to make yourself more hire-able/cold-emailing people on linkedin works sometimes and could lead to referrals.

-reverse recruiting: messaging people on linkedin asking to talk about getting referred

General advice

If we assume 1/100 resumes get seen by a human in a company recruiting department, and youve gotten 10 interviews/a few hundred resume submissions. you have an unusually high resume response rate. Keep applying! Try not get frustrated

-spend 30 min/hr a day practicing leetcode/reading cracking the coding interview to improve algo skills as a lot of companies ask these things

-keep building projects and stuffing it in your github and try make commits to open source projects (documentation fixes is better than no commits)

Question- are you just worried about not having a job or are you at a point where money is tight. If it’s the former I suggest taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that things will get better. If you need money now I would bet there is a less than ideal job available now. From the small amount of text you have written I can deduce you seem motivated and at intelligent. I have been in the position to hire people in several previous roles. One red flag I always shied away from is desperation. It’s not an automatic no, but I wonder what is going on if someone is recently out of work and upset about not having the next gig lined up. Again you have limited space to plead your case so if I misread the situation then please accept my apology. My perspective on things is that yep this sucks and I will tighten up my belt but it’s not Armageddon just yet. If we all look for (even virtual) community things will work out.

Horrible timing but best of luck. I know how hard it is, it took me 6 months to get my current job with 3-4 interviews a week and a bunch of nonsense technical exams just to get the interview. At the end of each day applying, calling and interviewing, my head was buzzing from stress burn out. Honestly way too hard of work just to get a job that breaks my back daily for so-so pay. Better off starting my own business with the level of effort required these days just to make someone else rich.

Your ace in the hole is the Mandarin of course, depending how good you actually are with it.

I consistently make others laugh: in conversation, on stage, and through writing.

Well, you have a captive audience and probably some unique perspective to share, so launch your YouTube channel.

I tend to see this type of issue with people who are not focused on any one particular thing. It’s almost like a fear of commitment. You are 80% of the way to being a developer. Take the time to understand algorithms and data structures. Commit to it. On the other side of that commitment is the confidence to apply for the types of jobs that you want, not just the ones that appear before you.

This isn’t a “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” pep talk. This is an appeal to you to achieve your potential.

If you've ever considered teaching (and relocation is okay), you can consider tutoring English in Taiwan. Living is very cheap (compared to the United States), and it's very much a different lifestyle. There is also a technological central there as well, but I'm not too familiar with it.

With COVID-19, they've closed their borders, but I definitely do see it opening once the whole thing is over (ie. hopefully not longer than half a year). Good luck!

Volunteering locally through a charity to put food on table while helping others against the effects of this pandemic? Not necessarily as a frontman, just call them and ask for what they need, with your skills. You would make friends for sure, and a network to rely upon in a few months, when the tsunami abates and life restarts, in one way or another.

Is there anyone you worked with before who is now employed doing something you’d like to do? Have you tried asking them for a referral? Referrals from former coworkers are vastly more important than your resume.

Sorry to hear about all this. Could you please post your resume online and provide a link to it so we can all view rather than emailing you? Thanks.

Sent you an email about potential job at my company. Not sure if it goes to spam, so posting here

You might like being a parent lawyer from the sound of it. It’s a great job. The hours aren’t long, pay is good. Deadlines are predictable and you often work with interesting technology and people.

Amazon, instacart are hiring

Are you in the US?

Where?

Don't mess around in the US for peanuts if you can speak/read/write Mandarin and English. Head to Shenzhen without delay. If you happen to be white, then you're worth your weight in gold. If you can do technical things, then you're a magician too. Furthermore, you could even sell yourself as a manual proofreader/editor/translator as well.

Relocate your abilities where they can be best utilized and compensated where things are designed, engineered and/or manufactured.

How would hiring happen these days with COVID-19 out in the wild?

It’s too risky to meet in person. You cannot shake hands anymore. The virus is airborne, and it lingers in the air for 3 hours, so you can easily get it or transmit it, by being in the same room as the interviewer.

Maybe we now switch to remote FaceTime interviews?

Study option trading, lurk on r/wallstreetbets and make tendies $$$

Mining and energy industry in in Australia is what you should be considering.