Whether your brain is wired for it or not (and I do believe that it takes a certain type of person to be good at it), that you've actually accepted this as truth speaks volumes.
Perhaps the thing to do is find another specialty? The software development field is vast, with many specialties inside of it. Web development, embedded systems, business software, etc. It could be that you'd thrive in one of those specialties. Or it could be that you're in the wrong profession altogether.
My advice (which isn't worth much) is to take stock of yourself. Being painfully honest, list out what your skills are, what your interests are, and what things and environments you can't stand. Then start looking for either a software specialty that corresponds well with your list, or an entirely different field that does.
I'd also recommend visiting with a career counselor for help with this process. Your community college very likely has some available.
But in the absence of such, let me read between the lines and infer that you've been in a continual state of stress for the past five years you mention. Stress will kill you. Elevated cortisol and adrenaline levels, over a prolonged period, will seriously mess you up. It will lead to adrenal fatigue, which affects memory and cognition, etc.
There's not a dev alive who can perform well like that, because you're not physically digging ditches or laying pipe, you're performing mental work; the hardest type of work there is.
Now, if you doubt yourself, stop. You know what you can do. And if you don't know, make the time time now to persuade yourself. This is something you can control. Same for the stress. It's an internal reaction to external events or internal thoughts, for the most part. You don't have to react. The pressure you're feeling is imagined, because it's in your head.
It's the result of limitations you put on yourself to produce outcomes you don't control. When you focus on the outcome, you begin to expect things out of your control and that sets you up for failure. But the truth is, you can't control the outcome. You can only control your attitude, your mindset and your actions. And once you're content with that, you'll feel much better not trying to manage things external to you. Those things include what others think about you personally, how they may assess your skills or job performance, and what they expect you to produce. All of that is out of. Your. Control.
Software engineering has little to do with memory (how to call that JS map function) and much more to do with thinking logically (applying the appropriate function, framework, library or language, in a methodical series of steps, to the solve the problem at hand). As I've mentioned, nobody is expected to think logically under continual duress.
If you're truly not adept at software engineering, that's perfectly okay to admit to yourself and others. But none of that means you cannot begin to be a proficient software dev, given the opportunity and desire. You'll have to tackle the stress first. YMMV.
But definitely consider whatever other more qualified people here have to say.
I suggest you go back to a junior job to learn more and if they ask about your story just tell the truth.
Feel feee to get in touch using the email in my profile and we can have a call to discuss further. Best of luck!